I like how this was for the women of saddo's and Canvasback, PrideofMora, and Jules can't wait to post!

Things You Learn From Watching Porn

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy fucks.

People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Pigtails = handlebars.

Originally Posted by X

Things You Learn From Watching Porn

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy fucks.

People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those tits are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Pigtails = handlebars.

Oh No X - You have single handedly smashed my dreams of ever becoming a "real girl/woman".

I just don't think I can live up to such monumental examples of complete selfishlessness.

Alas I will have to instead just live with comments from my male teammates such as "look at her she's a little dude" and take seriously sparring tips often yelled out mid round such as "Sharla your left nut is hanging out".

I will sit here for a while and contemplate just how messed up I really am! :P

Listen and learn just how stupid we really are ...... and then carefully plot how to rule the world in a female wimmin republic !!

Originally Posted by X

Listen and learn just how stupid we really are ...... and then carefully plot how to rule the world in a female wimmin republic !!

Why X that is a fantastic idea! I shall review your posts and start taking notes Perhaps I shall give you privilidges not afforded to the rest of men-folk once women are in power for coming up with the idea!

WOMENS PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

Men's Personal Ads

40-ish - 52 but looking for 25-yr-old

Athletic - Sits on the couch all day and watches sports

Average looking - Ugly

Average weight - Used to weigh 300lb, now weighs 297lb

Educated - Will always correct you and treat you like a retard

Free spirit - Likely to cheat, maybe with a family member

Friendship first - Wants to check your not too ugly first

Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack

Good Looking - Big headed

Honest - A good liar

Huggable - Overweight and enough body hair to resemble a teddy bear

Like to cuddle - Insecure

Polite - Says excuse me when he lets one rip

Open-minded - Will start dating your sister if she's better looking than you

Physically fit - Spends a lot of time admiring himself in the mirror

Religious - Went to church with his grandmother once when he was young

Committed - Occasional stalker, but never arrested

Thoughtful - Says "Please" when demanding a beer

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Husband and wife.....

BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.

Her Diary :-

He was a bit quiet and withdrawn this evening, even when we went to bed he said nothing. I cuddled up to him and stroked his hair, after a while we made love before drifting off to sleep.

His Diary :-

Fucking gutted, England lost, got a shag though

Originally Posted by Sharla

Haha!

Originally Posted by X

INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD 2008


8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

Good advice.

Her Diary :-

He was a bit quiet and withdrawn this evening, even when we went to bed he said nothing. I cuddled up to him and stroked his hair, after a while we made love before drifting off to sleep.

His Diary :-

Fucking gutted, England lost, got a shag though

It reminds me of myself and my wife while reading this!!!

Women are like squaring numbers.

If they are under 16, just do them in your head.

What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Always respect the ladies my male friends.You cant live without a lady in your life.Women should be worshiped for the godness stature their are!!We were all born women you know.The first 6weeks of concievement we all are born as a female,soo just keep that in mind.Respect the ladies