Thread: My Irish ancestry

Originally Posted by Master

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles
on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after
the examination.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making
love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy from
Belfast, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."

I e-mailed a copy of this to my wife and daughter, they thought it was hilarious.

BTW Andre, I also sent them the Youtube link for the Gaelic tune by Karen Matheson, great song.

Originally Posted by Mars_ax

Originally Posted by Andre

Thats something I've noticed out on site,what the Irish and Australians have in common is they dont get all uptight if you joke about them or their countrymen and usually join in the laughter knowing its all in fun and were al a pack of mongrels anyway .

Most of us here in the States are mongrels for sure, ye old melting pot. It's fun to think that I have Irish ancesters, but my "ethnicity" is so mixed, it's hard to get real serious about being "Irish". I do believe however, that if I ever visited Ireland, i'd fit right in and have a blast there.

As for Irish jokes, you should hear some of the flack I take for being from Texas.

It's funny because Texas has a great tradition of thinking originally and has great international conventions in Film etc that testify to this. The drummer in my old band went go Texas to jam and meet up with a couple of guys who pretty much wrote the book on writing music for computer games and electronic media. He was blown away by how broad the music scene there was and loved the place, couldn't recommend it enough.

Originally Posted by Greenbeanz

Originally Posted by Mars_ax

Originally Posted by Andre

Thats something I've noticed out on site,what the Irish and Australians have in common is they dont get all uptight if you joke about them or their countrymen and usually join in the laughter knowing its all in fun and were al a pack of mongrels anyway .

Most of us here in the States are mongrels for sure, ye old melting pot. It's fun to think that I have Irish ancesters, but my "ethnicity" is so mixed, it's hard to get real serious about being "Irish". I do believe however, that if I ever visited Ireland, i'd fit right in and have a blast there.

As for Irish jokes, you should hear some of the flack I take for being from Texas.

It's funny because Texas has a great tradition of thinking originally and has great international conventions in Film etc that testify to this. The drummer in my old band went go Texas to jam and meet up with a couple of guys who pretty much wrote the book on writing music for computer games and electronic media. He was blown away by how broad the music scene there was and loved the place, couldn't recommend it enough.

Texas is a huge State, by residents,the state is generally divided into North Texas, East Texas, Central Texas, South Texas, West Texas, thus the saying "Everything is bigger in Texas". The biggest critics of the State are people who don't live here, and have no idea what the State is really like.

The name 'Texas', based on the Caddo (Native American) word "Tejas" meaning "friends" or "allies", was applied by the Spanish to the Caddo themselves and to the region of their settlement in East Texas. (near where I live) For the most part you won't find a friendlier group of people then us "Texans", or as my wife likes to say: "we aren't being friendly, just nosy."

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

Originally Posted by El Kabong

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

A Scot is a Brit.

Originally Posted by Greenbeanz

Originally Posted by El Kabong

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

A Scot is a Brit.

Sorry, "an Englishman"

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Originally Posted by Greenbeanz

Originally Posted by El Kabong

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

A Scot is a Brit.

Sorry, "an Englishman"

We have some classic "An American, A Texan and a Yank go into a bar" jokes over here, so the confusion is understandable.

Originally Posted by superheavyrhun

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Originally Posted by Greenbeanz

Originally Posted by El Kabong

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

A Scot is a Brit.

Sorry, "an Englishman"

We have some classic "An American, A Texan and a Yank go into a bar" jokes over here, so the confusion is understandable.

In my area Texans & Yankees are very different....American is kind of the catch all though.

It is a stereotype that the Scots are drunks and very tight with their money, so good joke.

Originally Posted by superheavyrhun

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Originally Posted by Greenbeanz

Originally Posted by El Kabong

OK so a Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot are at a pub and are having a pint. The Brit notices a fly in his pint and says "Barkeep this is filthy and I will not touch this drink!"....The Irishman notices a fly in his pint, he dips his fingers in the glass and tosses out the bug and then sips his beer. The Scot notices a fly in his pint and turns beet red....his fingers tremble with rage as he picks the fly out of his beer, holds the fly up to his face and says "ALRIGHT SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!"


....sorry, in hindsight that seems neither funny nor has a punchline about the Irish, oh well

A Scot is a Brit.

Sorry, "an Englishman"

We have some classic "An American, A Texan and a Yank go into a bar" jokes over here, so the confusion is understandable.

I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard.