Thread: Fucking weddings

I fucking hate them, fucking waste of time expensive and I have to dress like a cunt and be sociable.

I wasn't built to look smart, you could put me in a £3000 suit and I'd still look a scruffy cunt, I'm currently sat on a bus looking like a cunt

I've gotta arrive and smile like a cunt at cunts I don't like, I don't like people and I've gotta suffer then all fucking day.

Cunts, I've bought two hipflasks filled with rum to try and numb the pain, I feel like having a little nip of it now.

Batman is not a happy bunny right now.

And I forgot to press record on the fucking boxing

Fucks sake, fucking weddings.

I've got a fucking funeral on Tuesday as well, that's just as fucking bad, at least you can't blame someone for dying but today this cunt is intentionally putting me through this

Well I'm still here, made a cunt if myself during the speech, that's no surprise, gunna have a wonder now I'm all beer ed up, gunna go see the fish

Imagine if the best man had grabbed the first two posts by mistake (instead of his speech), and that had been the toast.
Would've made for a "made-for-TV" moment at the wedding.

Best wedding I went to, everything went wrong, to this day I laugh.

The groom's men, we were late because the limo driver. Fingerprints all on the limo...looked like it came from prom the night before.
One of my drunk cousins tells the groom to stop complaining about the limo.
As the argument heated up ..he tells the driver to raise the window so he couldn't hear the yelling...no shit , window motor broke 1\2 way.

We arrive...the bride and her girls hadn't shown up. They were to arrive in horse carriage. Apparently one horse wanted to shit...so they all began to shit.

The wheels were caked with shit...tears coming from her eyes . and the drunk cousin blurts out ..see mu'fucka. Spending big money ain't go make it a better wedding.. Be glad you found a bitch with money..

We had to come between the two on the bitch comment...he laughed..I started to laugh.

Right before he said his vows...a button popped off his coat.
Drunk cousin whispered...see didn't tell nobody you were switching tux...that's what u get n-word.
Now we all trying not to laugh.. Except the groom who has resigned to just wanting to leave.

Wish I could've been at that wedding.

There is a reason they have open bars and the last one attended my stool was bolted in place. We had all the penguin suits accompanied by boots so it wasn't terrible But hey...congrats on your special day and hope you two find happiness

Originally Posted by Batman

Well I'm still here, made a cunt if myself during the speech, that's no surprise, gunna have a wonder now I'm all beer ed up, gunna go see the fish

What exactly. Specifically did you say that "made a cunt of yourself"?

I agree, weddings are a waste of time and money. A waste of time for all the people having to attend, but also a waste of valuable money that people are in short supply of these days. It's fairy tale nonsense with this bubble gum idea that it has to be the 'magical' day and all that Disneyfied nonsense. It causes stress and like you say, everybody ends up having to drink too much just to get through it. Half of these marriages end up in divorce too which means it was a terrible investment all round. It's not smart thinking. You are together every day, so why that one day has to be 'special' is beyond me. Sign the papers and order a takeaway.

Went to a great wedding cost thousands know expense spared, 6 months later they were divorced.

I just go for the food and look at the women but think about the boxing that I am missing.

Originally Posted by Master

I just go for the food and look at the women but think about the boxing that I am missing.

Some weddings INVOLVE boxing!

Originally Posted by Master

I just go for the food and look at the women but think about the boxing that I am missing.

Now there's a brutally honest man.