Isaac Hayes death linked to boxing

**Fantana** · 08-12-2008 12:11 PM

Isaac Hayes death linked to boxing
By Fantana, best selling author and law suit waiting to happen

Isaac Hayes, an American musician and actor known for his role as Chef in South Park and as that guy who did the Shaft theme was found dead on August 10th by his wife. Isaac lay motionless by a treadmill that was still running whilst on his super big TV which was stuck on the wall, perhaps by blue tack, a boxing contest was being shown, it was Wladmir Klitschko versus Tony Thompson, a fight which Isaac had not seen before.

“Isaac loved to watch boxing on his super big TV, it’s a 65 inch mother fucker” his wife may have apparently said. “He was almost a fan of Wladimir Klitschko, until he found out like the rest of the boxing world that Wladimir is a ball-less piece of garbage waiting for David Haye to take his head off” his wife may have also said.

Doctors could not figure out why Isaac Hayes croaked, that was of course, until they were told the dreadful news that he had been watching the Wladmir Klitschko versus Tony Thompson borefest. Dr. Jurgen Towmower, a world famous physician, had this to say “Isaac was a very fit, very healthy man. He was in great shape at the age of 65, I couldn’t figure out why I had this healthy, but dead, man on my table. I couldn’t find any reason for his untimely death, until his wife told me that he had been watching Wladmir Klitschko box. They should put warning signs on his televised fights, their dangerously boring.”

The tape Isaac had been watching whilst running on his treadmill had been passed onto him by a friend, who only did it to play a practical joke. It was a practical joke gone too far, and the unnamed man is currently being held without bail and is awaiting trial for first degree murder. Humanitarians have said the death sentence would be too much, but when faced with the option of either lethal injection or watching a Wladimir Klitschko fight, it was believed the lethal inject was by far more humane.