The Morticians Apprentice
These two old guys, Harry and Ted, are in the workers rest room of the local mortuary
when one of the young apprentice morticians comes running in and says very excitedly,
"I think you ought to come and have a look at the old woman in room three, drawer twenty one."
"Oh yeah," replies Harry, "and why is that then?"
"I know this sounds really strange but she's got a whelk up her fanny" said the young lad excitedly.
"Look, we'll come and have a look after we've finished our coffee break," said Harry,
"but I don't think we'll find a whelk up her fanny. I don't think you know what the bloody
hell you're talking about young man!"
Having finished their coffees Harry and Ted go into room three with the young lad and
pull out drawer twenty one. Harry takes off the white sheet covering the old woman's
naked body and asks the young lad and old Ted to hold and part a leg each while he
investigates with his torch.
"There it is," cried the young lad excitedly, "There's the whelk. I told you she had a whelk
up her fanny but you wouldn't believe me."
"That's not a whelk, you pratt," growled old Harry, "That's her clitoris. They get like that
when they're this old"
"Well, it sure tastes like a whelk," said the young lad.
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?
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