Thread: Anyone Ever Lose a Girl you love out of sheer stupdity????

I Fucked up plain and Simple, I dumped a girl I love back in june cause I thought I could do better I am a player of sorts and have dated many of women but she was a friend and then after a while we started going out and we fell in love,anyway I thought I could do better for some dumb ass reason.Now I regret and I am cut to the heart cause I want to see her again personally, I said bad awful things to her because I hated her past (mind is worse than hers) To make matters worse she is a bartender at the local pub I go to and for 3 months I never went when she was there..A few weeks ago I went with some friends when she was working and after 2 hours I was all sorts of LOVESICK and I hate it, I saw her tonite and I miss her so much I want to talk to her but she wont call me...

Please advise I wll answer rany questions and entertain SERIOUS counsel on the matter I AM HURTING BAD!!!!!!!!!

just walk in wen its busy with a massive bunch of flowers


write im sorry, can we talk, on the card


be confident, give her the flowers and say i love you and walk back out, be prepared to have them thrown back at u, but she should be sensible enough to realise how hard it is do do tht and let you call her.

if not, harsh, but you gotta move on

God this sounds all to familiar to me.
My man I know all to well what your going through. Your between 18 - 23 I take it, you know I'll be real with you this whole I'm a playa thing and I get this and that anytime I want it is dead. That was cool in the late 90's but it's dead now, if you have never been in love with a women your life is lacking major shit.
You say her past bothers you? JT Rock what you need to do is grow up we all have wraps behind us storys of our Highschool & college days its all part of life and growing up. If what you want is a girl with no history then shit set your eyes on a young 16 yr. old and guide the way you would like your girl to be once shes 18 get with her that way you'll know theres no history there plus it won't bother you.
JT Rock her past is her past, you cant spend your life living it there. Be glad you know her past and you know what shes about, some guys hook up with girls and can be with them for years. then one day they find out she was the local whore. At least you whatever her history says you know about it and your aware of it. \
Now you knew about her and her history before you got with her so then why did you still get with her?
I know cuz you thought to yourself shit!! I hit it but wont commit to it.... So guess what you spend time with her and saw a different side of her and you spend more time and the more time you spend the more you liked her. Time went by and then in your moments of thinking you start telling yourself "Shes fucking around behind my back, yeah she is look at the way she used to be before what makes think shes not doing to me now? Shes probably fucking _____________ <------ insert name here of 'that' guy you think shes doing. And the more you think about it the more it pisses you off and you say fucken bitch!! that slut, tramp, whore fuck her but you just couldnt let go at the time cuz by now you felt something more then just liking her..... Then one day you guys probably got in a arguement you build yourself up with confidence and told her off and got out all those thoughts about her cheating on you out. You called her names and told her all. Right after this happend you were like yeah! I did it fuck it I find some better she aint shet.....Next day when you woke up you started remenising about what your days were like when you were with her and how you would call her early morning and try and plan out your day together or something. You then started questioning yourself if what you had just done was the right thing and for the next few days you couldnt stop thinking about her everything reminded you of her and then one of those days you just picked up the phone and called her just to see how she was doing hoping to hear her voice again over the phone like you would before you went to sleep.

JT Rock sometimes in life we are stuck living in the past that we cant see in front of us or in the future.

Need more info. to further view your situation?
How long have you guys been together?
How serious was the relationship? Did you guys meet family and all, take trips together?
Were you guys doing your 'thang'?

think its safe to say with there reputations they were definately doing there 'thang' mick

(under my breath)
I know I just wanted to read it from him and how he worded himself

Thanks beds

never miss the oppurtunity for a bit of

Where did JT Rock go?
Thought he needed help? Even pulled up a chair and was getting comffy to help him out. Guess the truth hurts. Boy does it hurt.

Good luck to you JT hope all goes well.

Originally Posted by JT Rock

I Fucked up plain and Simple, I dumped a girl I love back in june cause I thought I could do better I am a player of sorts and have dated many of women but she was a friend and then after a while we started going out and we fell in love,anyway I thought I could do better for some dumb ass reason.Now I regret and I am cut to the heart cause I want to see her again personally, I said bad awful things to her because I hated her past (mind is worse than hers) To make matters worse she is a bartender at the local pub I go to and for 3 months I never went when she was there..A few weeks ago I went with some friends when she was working and after 2 hours I was all sorts of LOVESICK and I hate it, I saw her tonite and I miss her so much I want to talk to her but she wont call me...

Please advise I wll answer rany questions and entertain SERIOUS counsel on the matter I AM HURTING BAD!!!!!!!!!

want her back for the best for u? or want her back for the best of both of u?

Anyway, thats just a question. But the way life works is if it's meant to be it will happen and by that I'm not saying to sit around and 'wait' lol

Not sure when this was posted. The post times are always crazy for me.


I always wanted a woman with no children. That way if we had a child together the experience would be new to us both. Same for marriage. I thought I had found that person. We were married for two years and she got bored and split. Oh, I was bitter.

I am now with a woman who has a 15 year old son that I cannot stand. I had dated her a bit in the past and decided to move on. Now, she lives with me and considers us "married."

The woman I have loved the most are the ones that didn't want me. Weird how that works out...

Anyway, my advice is... be sure you're not just lonley. Sometimes when are lonley you start urning for something confortable from your past. If the things she has done in her past truly bother you than they probably always will. Also, for me persoanlly the fact that she is a bartender would drive me bonkers. I would steer clear of her no matter how much I loved her. Even if she isn't cheating you won't be able to stop thinking that she is. And if she is than she will say your just being paranoid.
First thing you should do is clean up your act and stay single for an extended period of time. DO NOT DATE. Save money, educate your mind, take it easy. Then when you are in a good frame of mind start fresh with someone you have no history with and take it slow...

I am serious issues. I would rather know nothing of a girls past than know everything. It's hard for me to get over small things.

I am a hypochondriac. I have a fear of public places. I am always scared the electricty is about to go out and leave me sitting in the dark. I hate to take a shower when I am home alone. When someone knocks on the door I peek out the bathroom window to see who it is and if I do not know them I will not answer. I cannot sleep without socks on. I cannot sleep without a fan. I am very possesive of my belongings. and I am always acred that what I am eating is going to give me food poison.

At this point in my life I'll take what I can get. lol However I have made up my mind that if this relationship ends I would be happy living my life alone. I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime and love boxing and football enough to keep me happy.

Sad but all so very true

Ladies are complicated as you know, Truth is if you’re a looker and have charm and a bankroll. , you might still have a chance, if you’re an average Joe and said nasty shit, your fucked. LMFAO ! Also, that shit is going to come up 10 fold every time you have a little argument from now on ., The best thing you can do, is conduct an honest self appraisal of the situation. Ask yourself what are my goals? .. If your looking for a fuck on Friday night, and want her gone by Saturday morning don’t bother with the effort of getting her back , If your truly in love and you fucked it up, you need to tame those demons. Got to Remember the past is the past is the past, We all have one, and hopefully we all learned a little something .. I always tell myself “ Live in the past , die in the Past” never bring up the past. And never dwell on someone else’s Move on to the future.

Originally Posted by Lords Gym

Ladies are complicated as you know,.

Right.. and boys are so honest you don't have to figure them out

Starr I never realized you were female ? Please excuse my poor language ! my apologies on that !

and your right Starr, Men are scum bags ! but we try to be good.

Starr, just because we are dishonest doesnt mean we are strange and hard to figure out...

You're probably being sentimental JT, did you really like her that much? you left her.

Originally Posted by CutMeMicK

God this sounds all to familiar to me.
My man I know all to well what your going through. Your between 18 - 23 I take it, you know I'll be real with you this whole I'm a playa thing and I get this and that anytime I want it is dead. That was cool in the late 90's but it's dead now, if you have never been in love with a women your life is lacking major S***.
You say her past bothers you? JT Rock what you need to do is grow up we all have wraps behind us storys of our Highschool & college days its all part of life and growing up. If what you want is a girl with no history then S*** set your eyes on a young 16 yr. old and guide the way you would like your girl to be once shes 18 get with her that way you'll know theres no history there plus it won't bother you.
JT Rock her past is her past, you cant spend your life living it there. Be glad you know her past and you know what shes about, some guys hook up with girls and can be with them for years. then one day they find out she was the local whore. At least you whatever her history says you know about it and your aware of it. \
Now you knew about her and her history before you got with her so then why did you still get with her?
I know cuz you thought to yourself S***!! I hit it but wont commit to it.... So guess what you spend time with her and saw a different side of her and you spend more time and the more time you spend the more you liked her. Time went by and then in your moments of thinking you start telling yourself "Shes F****** around behind my back, yeah she is look at the way she used to be before what makes think shes not doing to me now? Shes probably F****** _____________ <------ insert name here of 'that' guy you think shes doing. And the more you think about it the more it pisses you off and you say fucken bitch!! that slut, tramp, whore F*** her but you just couldnt let go at the time cuz by now you felt something more then just liking her..... Then one day you guys probably got in a arguement you build yourself up with confidence and told her off and got out all those thoughts about her cheating on you out. You called her names and told her all. Right after this happend you were like yeah! I did it F*** it I find some better she aint shet.....Next day when you woke up you started remenising about what your days were like when you were with her and how you would call her early morning and try and plan out your day together or something. You then started questioning yourself if what you had just done was the right thing and for the next few days you couldnt stop thinking about her everything reminded you of her and then one of those days you just picked up the phone and called her just to see how she was doing hoping to hear her voice again over the phone like you would before you went to sleep.

JT Rock sometimes in life we are stuck living in the past that we cant see in front of us or in the future.

Need more info. to further view your situation?
How long have you guys been together?
How serious was the relationship? Did you guys meet family and all, take trips together?
Were you guys doing your 'thang'?

Thanks for taking the time Mick I am 30 by the way and live in Wolcott Ct USA, and never was a player of sorts until my me and my ex fiancee' broke up February of 2004 that was tough on me but we grew apart its as simple as that....I took some time alone to heal, at 1st I didn't want to be bothered by girls just wanted to be left alone, then after a while I wanted to date anything good looking girl I met and I did, then that wasn't fulfilling so I went back to just doing my own thing, then I went back to playing and dating.......Here go's the story

November of 2005 I Started frequenting this Irish Pub down the road from my house, I started taking a liking to a Bartender( we will call her Lori so know one is incriminated) that worked there and my friends new her, she had a boyfriend though(for about 5 yrs), but we still flirted a little bit cause her relationship was on the rocks and she was getting ready to pull the plug....I then said here is my # if it dosen't work out with him call me...She said no #'s right now, I said fair enough....Then when my friends went to the pub and Lori was working, she would have them call me to go down there,well one night I go down to the bar and Lori's there and were talking, well by the end of the night she is chasing me out the door and asking for my phone number, so we talk the next day and I tell her how I feel and she does the same, but I say WHEN YOU BREAK UP we will talk more cause it's not appropriate now, she agrees, well a few weeks go by and we are really hitting it off when I go to the bar but it's bitter sweet since she has the boyfriend and it is wearing us out cause we just like each other to much, so I tell Lori I cant go down anymore when she is working cause it bothers me to much she agrees and tells me it bother her to and I told her I dont want to be the reason you break up with your boyfriend....So I stop talking to her all together..

Now is were it gets complicated, this is going on from late January-March, during this there is a really cute and personable girl( we will call her Jackie as not to incriminate her) that was a cocktail waitress and Server that worked there and would serve me and my friends when we sat at a table instead of the bar..Me and Jackie would talk and joke when she was serving us and had a good time, she had been up in Conn.for about a year in a half and moved up from Florida so they could be closer to her "BOYFRIEND'S" family since they had a 2 yr old kid together(whats up with all the boyfriends LOL!!!!) Well that was cool with me since I liked her co-worker I hadn't really gave much thought about her except she was a cool good looking girl, here is were it gets interesting no one knows I like Lori except my friends we all kept it under wraps cause Lori still had a boyfriend and we didn't want to get her and trouble and especially most of her co-workers so that way ther would be no rumors....OK, now as me and my friends converse with Jackie she tells us what a asshole her boyfriend is and he is not the same person he was when they were down in Florida were they had met, he had a real big drug problem and he moved from Conn to Florida since there were really bad influences up here for him so he moved in with some family and was sober, he had met Jackie at work and they hit it off and were together a few years but he never told her about his past addictions to crack and cocaine, so when they decided to move up to Conn, he started visiting with old friends and started using again, so she would tell us stuff here and there and I would try to have good words and advice for her......

Valentines day 2005 Jackie calls my friends Tattoo parlor in the afternoon cause she thought I worked there he told her I didn't(which is weird since I dont know her to well and didnt have anykind of contact outside the bar with her), a few hours later she calls again all upset and asks again for me this time he asks who it is and she tells him and he tells her I told you he's not here, well when I get out of work at 8pm(I am a finance and sales manager for a car dealer) I call my friend to see what the plans are for the night since we are single and have no girls to do valentines day with, well while we are on the phone Jackie calls the shop crying and telling my friend that she needs to get a hold of me..I tell him to give her my # if she is that upset.

She calls me all upset telling me that her boyfriend was wandering the streets for drugs and wanted to talk to me cause she enjoyed our conversations at the bar and my advice...So we became "ONLY FRIENDS" her boyfriend got arrested and is in jail for drugs and stealing 2 cars since, I really liked Lori(Jackie Didn't know) and didnt want to screw it up....I kept my frienship with Jackie a secret to the bar so it wouldnt look like I was trying to get with the both of them,SO for the next 3 months Jackie and I would hang out talk on the phone and had a good time but I kept it only friends and we never talked about being together or anything but I started to feel things for her cause she was awsome but I would dismiss them cause again I liked Lori to much and I wanted to wait for her to sort out her mess and break it off with the boyfriend, so one night when she got out of work and met me and my friends at another bar to see a Live band play, Jackie had a few drinks and when the nite was over I walked her to her car and I went to turn around to leave and she kissed me!!!!! I was like OK that was a suprise so I told her goodnite and I left..

The next day I call her to talk about what happened and I finally tell her that I do have feelings for her too but I cant act on them cause, so I confessed to her I liked Lori and if I dated her then I could never have a shot at Lori and I started something with Lori that I wanted to finish she was shocked but respected the situation so we agreed to be friends still, well two weeks go by and I think to myself I havent seen or talked to Lori in about a month and a half and I am sick and tired of waiting for something that might not happen not to mention that I have this really cute and awsome girl who is crazy about me and I feel deeply for her so all of a sudden like a revelation it hits me like a ton of bricks!!!! I want to be with Jackie!!! So I call her and tell her how I feel and at 1st she was like I'm your 2nd choice and you are settling with me since I'm not your 1st choice...I had to explain to her that I liked Lori 1st and our friendship just kinda happened in the middle of it all and I had to see it thru with Lori, but I really want you..

So we started going out and things were good at 1st and then there was the usual squabble here and there in the meantime I find out Lori breaks up with her boyfriend since I didn't have to open my heart up to anyone since my Ex Fiancee' and it was tough for me and Jackie since had just broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, so I do the ultimate asshole thing I break up with Jackie and Blame it on our not being ready cause of our Ex's which was bullshit because I wanted to try with Lori well it all backfires..Lori finds out that I was dating and sleeping with Jackie and wants no part of it cause Lori and the rest of the girls that work at the bar know something I dont know..Jackie has slept with a few of the customers and has a bad reputation of course she did that before we were friends and went out (She never cheated on me)....I was pissed and upset when I found out about her past since I am considered clean cut and have a good rep and never dated girls with checkered pasts, so I finally had it with the situation so me and Jackie had been broken up for a month and a half or so I heard a story about she was kinda flaunting that she had sex with this idiot that go's to the bar and I cant stand the kid(she didn't know that) so I call her up and I tell her I was dissapointed with her choice of guy after me and that people think I am dirty since I was with you and your acting like a tramp...So I said the worst possible things that I have ever said to a human being, told her to never call me and erase my # and I erased her #.

I realized that I don't like Lori's personality and I wouldn't want to go with her anyway, I saw Jackie for the 1st time since the end of June and it took the breath out of me literally, all of a sudden I was dealing with feelings for her I didnt think I had I just wanted to run up to her and hold her in my arms and apologize and tell her how much I miss her, so I got drunk with my friends and before I left the bar I walked up to her and whispered to her I was sorry for all the bad things I said to and about her then I stuck out my hand for her to shake it she did and I turned around and walked away... I love Jackie and I miss her she is only the 3rd girl I have ever truly loved and I dont care about her past cause I have one too...I dont care what the girls at the bar think or my friends think she was always a goodfriend and an excellent girlfriend and a superb mother to her child...

I am a total asshole who deserves to feel broken over this I miss her so much and I feel so hurt and remorseful about the things I said to her I never wanted to hurt the one I loved so much.

That folks is my human side and I have Know Idea why I just poured out my heart to the whole world literally..