Aethiest: Shit happens due to the law of physics.

Agnostic: Does shit really happen?

Catholicism: Shit happens becuase you're evil

Protestant: Shit happens because you're not working hard enough.

Baptist: Let us wash away your shit.

Charismatic: We're talking shit.

Televangelist: If shit happens then call this number...

C of E: Shit happens cos the Pope was a twat.

Jehova's Witnesses: Shit happens on your doorstep.

Jewish: Shit happens because it's cheaper.

Rastafarian: Let's smoke this shit.

Hinduism: Shit happened in your past lives.

Buddism: ...

Scientology: Shit won't happen if you pay us.

Voodoo: Shit happens becuase I made it happen.

Jedi: What a load of shit.









Muslim: The west makes shit happen.