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Thread: Any good jokes ????

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  1. #646
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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Adolf Hitler might have been nicer person if someone high fived him back.

    To those who tell me alcohol will not solve my problem; neither will milk.

    If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist, I'd still be earning more than the average woman.

    If there really is no God, who keeps getting my wife pregnant?
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I met a homeless man named Rich

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    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
    A Hippo is very heavy, while a Zippo is a little lighter.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Dr Dr I have hurt my arm in two places
    Well don't go to those places.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.


    “Magic beer,” he says.

    “Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”

    Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.

    “Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof —and plummets 15 stories to the ground.

    The bartender shakes his head. “You know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull.


    'Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.'


    Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.


    “I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.”


    “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Just downloaded the entire Bible from the internet. When I finished it said "saved".

    Love the new Eskimo lottery . You've got to be Inuit to win it.

    I only use deodorant under one arm so I know what I would have smelled of.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Sorry, I can't take credit for the following joke:

    "GGG is disrespecting Canelo, who wants to fight him."



    Full credit goes to another of our esteemed members.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    this might be the funniest shit ive seen today



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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    sorry but this one beats it


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    That is disgusting yet funny

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    islam the religion of peace.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    "Hurt me, hurt me", cried the masochist.

    "No" said the sadist
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    From Uncharted 4 but made me laugh:

    A pirate walks into a bar.
    And he's got this steering wheel sticking out of his crotch.
    So the bartender goes "Hey man what's with the wheel?"
    And the pirate says "Arrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    The school rang and said: "your son's been telling lies".
    "Tell him he's bloody good at it! I replied "I haven't got any kids".


    What do we want?
    No more acronyms.
    When do we want it?
    ASAP
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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