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Thread: Any good jokes ????

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  1. #61
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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Hell that's no joke that would be a nightmare.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Quote Originally Posted by roberto duran legend View Post
    Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour

    I thought it was funny.

    Whats the most difficult thing about a sex change?

    Getting fish to smell like cheese.
    When God said to the both of us "Which one of you wants to be Sugar Ray?" I guess I didnt raise my hand fast enough

    Charley Burley

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    Default

    Wayne Rooney visited Fabrice Muamba in the hospital. "He looks great and can almost string together a complete sentence" Muamba said.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Quote Originally Posted by roberto duran legend View Post
    Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour
    The Tories mate that's the nightmare.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I went to the pub last night, and there was this fat girl dancing on a table.
    I walked passed and said ' Fucking amazing legs ' The girl giggled and said
    with a smile 'Do you really think so ' I said ' without a doubt,
    most tables would have collapsed by now ' .

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    WALLET SCAM WARNING.
    In ASDA whilst packing shopping in yourcar, you may be approached by 2 fit 18
    year oldEastern European girls in tight , tiny tops. They wash your screen with their tits
    up against the window and ask for a lift to the next ASDA as payment.
    On the way they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other.
    One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts
    to steal your wallet. I had mine stolen last thursday , friday, saturday ,
    twice on sunday and once again today, so be carefull .
    PS you can buy wallets for 99p in poundstretchers

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Bloke buys a Geordie parrot, but gets sick of it saying, 'Im from the toon
    and im hard as fuck' , so he puts a Kestrel in his cage. Next morning he
    finds the Kestrel dead,and the Parrot saying ' Im from the toon and im as hard as fuck'.
    So the bloke puts a Golden Eagle in the cage. Next morning he finds the Eagle dead
    and the Parrot with no feathers. As he looks in the cage, the Parrot says,
    'Had to tek me coat off for that bastard.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    My Girlfriend was giving me a wank the other night she
    had a keyring in her hand I think she's was trying to fob me off.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    My misses asked if I was fucking her around behind her back.

    I said yeah of course it was me, who'd the hell did you think it was?
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    This ventrilloquist visits a farm and says to the farmer i can talk to animals and they reply to me.

    Never says the farmer.

    But then the ventriloquist talks to the horse and asks if he likes the farm.

    "Oh yes" says the horse "its wonderful here the farmer treats us well and there is always feed.

    The farmer looks astonished.

    The ventriloquist turns to the sheep and the farmer says "dont go talking to her she a fucking liar!'
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    My friend was telling me his son is a cage fighter his record
    was 3 wins I asked who was his opposition he said 2 budges and 1 canary.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Quote Originally Posted by Dia bando View Post
    My friend was telling me his son is a cage fighter his record
    was 3 wins I asked who was his opposition he said 2 budges and 1 canary.
    Is your son the Geordie Parrot?
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    As Ghost said, what happened to the good jokes?

    Man, a lot of these jokes are even worse than Marktko's jokes.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    How do chinese peeps name their babies?


    They throw a coin down the stairs and which ever sound it makes, thats the name..

    Like ching chong chow. Loll

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