United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also
show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has
huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."
"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and
confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in
a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a huge mortgage and
three children, one of whom is disabled and another has learning
disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had
And the lawyer says, "So... if I didn't give any money to them, what in
the hell makes you think I'd ever give any to you?"