Thread: I'm in pure agony!! (My NYE whine)

I don't know what the F'K I done, but I woke up this morning with the stiffest neck and shoulders... They have been like glued into place all day, and any time I twist, move my head, lift my arms or ANYTHING, it sends brutal sharp stabbing pains into my entire shoulders and into the sides of my neck..

On the pain scale, while sitting still it's been a constant 4 all day.. When I move my head around etc, it goes to an 8..... 10 equaling - give me a gun because i'm ending it all right now!

It's New Years Eve here so no doctors open at all.. I could probably go to the hospital but being in agony at home on New Years Eve would be 10 times better than being in agony in a Hospital waiting room.

I've been taking painkillers in lots of 3 every 3 hours since waking up, and they are doing absolutely nothing.. I've taken anti inflammatorys as well which are doing jack shit.. I had a hot bath tonight for the first time in about 10 years and pull a tonne of this muscle soak in it.. Took the pain from 8 to maybe 7.2.... For about 20 minutes... If I had a doctor here right now, i'd hold him up with a knife and not let him go until he injected morphine straight into my neck....

What a completely fucked way to spend New Years Eve.. In bed in agony!!

Me and my better half were planning on driving into Melbourne (city) to watch the fireworks show etc but I can barely move...




Anyway, cue the sympathy posts..


If anyone has any idea's on how to relax muscles?? maybe Von is around, and being a chemist, has a recipe for cooking up Morphine or Heroin with regular every day household objects like Peanut Butter and Vinegar? If so, please post ingredients and cooking instructions...

Get your misses to oil up your neck and rub up and down with her thumbs till she feels the knot that is in there.pinch and squeeze your shoulders and all joining muscles up to your neck first warming you up then looking for knots.
When she does find a knot,work on it fast with alternating thumbs over and over with semi pressure. once you get slightly looser she is to place as much pressure onto the knot as she can and squash it out,You tell her when its on a 7 level of pain and she holds that pressure until it drops to below a 3.then go through the whole process again. you laying on a bed face down with your head hanging off the end so gravity stretches you out could help while she sits o the floor at the end and helps pull you down slowly gently and rubs it all out etc.

Drink loads of water if she does this for you or you'll be worse the next day.


Do you use the term :"OH what a pain in the fukkin neck"! because your body will obey fully even your silent thoughts to yourself.

theres more to the mind/body parts if your interested.

I put my neck back into place myself after surfing it moves out. I interlock my fingers,place my hands over the back of my head so I got my neck with both palms,squeeze my elbows together and and turn my head to the right or into the side that has the most pain in it (dont turn away from it) the opposite elbow rises up as your elbow that has your chin facing it goes downwards so you can slip your chin over the top of the outside of your your wrist and you hold tight with your fingers ,squeeze your elbows together lightly and lightly lift your chin and head up by raising your elbow up on the same side. Do this after the rub.

make sure your drink lots of water!

Also if you place your arm behind your back and open up your shoulder blade she will find a few knots underneath the edge of it with her thumb.when she presses these you should feel it right up into your head,very uncomfortable but very benifitial.Do the pressure trick again until the pain is down to a 3 or lower level.

When she is pressuring your knots ,you breathe air in and you mentally aim air at the area shes working on.

The shooting pains you describe tell me this might be something other than stiff muscles, but I'm certainly no expert. Maybe some kind of disc problem? Pinched nerve? You know, just a thought, exercise caution when it comes to amateur massage, it might not be the answer, seeing as how you don't really know what the problem is.

No recent falls? No falling asleep against the arm of a couch? Repetitive strain from not sitting properly at your computer? A reaction to the bite of an exotic Australian spider?

Good luck with it.

sounds like a pinched nerve to me..

you need a chiropractor..