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Thread: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

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    Default I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Seeing as Skel was complaining about the lack of posting around here, I thought I would get to the nitty gritty and tell you all of the hardship of my day. I went to the cash machine to take the money out to pay my wife back having crashed my car last week. So I put the receipt into my mouth whilst I shoved the money into my wallet and as I pulled the receipt away from my lips I felt this shooting pain. I touched my lip with a finger and lo and behold there was blood there!

    There should be a rule against paper having this sticking to lip quality. My lower lip is extremely tender and my hot coffee is burning it. Has anyone else had an equally horrid experience with paper or a cash machine receipt?

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    I clicked on this thread when i saw the title expecting mayube a great gag with a cracking punchline - one I could share with the guys at work perhaps....


    But alas no - it was merely Miles prattling on like a cunt again about a gay cut to his top labia
    Don't bully fat kids - they've got enough on their plate

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt



    A tongue in cheek monotony thread. Or should I say tongue on lower lip? Ouch.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    That will teach not to place sticky things in your mouth.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    That's the thing with those papers, they are dry when you put them in the mouth and then all of a sudden they turn to glue. It's like licking ice, very dangerous.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    miles is a cunt
    God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I'll say it again, God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in I-ching, I don't believe in bible, I don't believe in tarot, I don't believe in Hitler, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't believe in Kennedy, I don't believe in Buddha, I don't believe in mantra, I don't believe in Gita, I don't believe in yoga, I don't believe in kings, I don't believe in Elvis, I don't believe in Zimmerman, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me!!


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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!
    2 people now, and I expect that to rise throughout the day
    God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I'll say it again, God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in I-ching, I don't believe in bible, I don't believe in tarot, I don't believe in Hitler, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't believe in Kennedy, I don't believe in Buddha, I don't believe in mantra, I don't believe in Gita, I don't believe in yoga, I don't believe in kings, I don't believe in Elvis, I don't believe in Zimmerman, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me!!


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    Default

    I once glued my fingers together.

    Also cut my tongue while licking the top of a yoghurt lid, the foil ones. That bled for ages.

    All pointless but true.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!
    2 people now, and I expect that to rise throughout the day
    I expect 10 by the time I wake up in the morning, still as long as it makes the crowd happy.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!
    2 people now, and I expect that to rise throughout the day
    I expect 10 by the time I wake up in the morning, still as long as it makes the crowd happy.
    were happy
    Hidden Content SADDO'S FIGHT NIGHT RD4 CHAMPION, TAKING ON ALL COMERS ! Hidden Content

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattyhitman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!
    2 people now, and I expect that to rise throughout the day
    I expect 10 by the time I wake up in the morning, still as long as it makes the crowd happy.
    were happy
    You failed to call me a cunt. I am quite disappointed. Come on you cunts, call me a cunt and let's lay all our cunts on the table.

    My lip is holding up quite well just in case anyone was concerned. Bloody capitalists.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Miles, I understand how you feel.

    In fact, as per my recent training course, I don't know how you feel at all, as I've never cut my lip in such a preposterous way. But I hope it heals soon. Putting some alcohol on it should be a good pain reliever in the meantime. Maybe four or five bottles of wine should be sufficient.

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mattyhitman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H View Post
    miles is a cunt
    Unbelievable, someone gave you a cool click for that. Where are my cool clicks you bastards, I've got a scabby lip!
    2 people now, and I expect that to rise throughout the day
    I expect 10 by the time I wake up in the morning, still as long as it makes the crowd happy.
    were happy
    You failed to call me a cunt. I am quite disappointed. Come on you cunts, call me a cunt and let's lay all our cunts on the table.

    My lip is holding up quite well just in case anyone was concerned. Bloody capitalists.
    My apologies..... CUNT !
    Hidden Content SADDO'S FIGHT NIGHT RD4 CHAMPION, TAKING ON ALL COMERS ! Hidden Content

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    Default Re: I cut my lip on a cash machine receipt

    Quote Originally Posted by superheavyrhun View Post
    Miles, I understand how you feel.

    In fact, as per my recent training course, I don't know how you feel at all, as I've never cut my lip in such a preposterous way. But I hope it heals soon. Putting some alcohol on it should be a good pain reliever in the meantime. Maybe four or five bottles of wine should be sufficient.
    Thank you for the polite advice and for not calling me a cunt. That advice sounds absolutely fantastic BTW.

    I don't know what paper they use in the UK, but this stuff welds to the lips if lubricated. It can only ever pull away layers of skin. It is a health hazard.

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