Thread: The Time Bugs Bunny tested positive for steroids

Bugs Bunny is simply "normal"


By Jessica "Taboo" Bunny


Satire created from ROY JONES JR. IS IN DENIAL By Elisa Harrison
I tried very hard to contain myself and not pen my thoughts on the shockingly hard victory Bugs Bunny squeaked out and stole from the hands of Sylvester "The" Cat. I thought I had managed to stay out of it, until Friday night that is, when I saw a televised interview of Bugs Bunny, taped within his week off from training in his hometown of Brooklyn New York. That did it, enough is enough... Bugs, you need a serious reality check.

Bugs Bunny... one of boxing's most talented toon fighters, loved and hated in equal portions by the sweet science's fans, greatest of all time to some, "Lucky" Bunny to others; the toon who could do it all and do it well, that is until he met Daffy Duck...

Actually that may not be a true statement, I believe Bugs' problems began long before he ever set foot in the ring against Mr. Duck. Let's rewind to April 15, 2004, shall we?

On that date a boxing site in conjunction with this one run by the toons posted an interview by Lola Bunny with John Ruiz as Ruiz was preparing to meet "Fast" Fres Oquendo.

Ruiz stated during said interview that Bugs had tested positive for anabolic steroids use when the two met back in January of 2000 in Bugs' only attempt to compete in the real world against a real human. (Ruiz neglected to tell Ms. Lola that he had tested positive for Viagra, but his omission didn't go unnoticed or unmentioned when Ms. Lola and her editor went on a quest for the truth regarding this bit of disturbing news). The events that followed Ruiz's statement are now part of boxing history.

We were accused of posting rumors and gossip, even Bugs' trainer Jimmy "Bronx" Bunny and Bugs' adviser Esquire Cottontail came to the rescue but their attempts at damage control couldn't derail the truth. And the truth is that Bugs Bunny, through his attorney admitted to the Las Vegas Boxing Commission that he had unknowingly used steroids prior to this fight. Pursuant to his admission Bugs agreed to certain terms and conditions dictated by the Las Vegas Boxing Commission regarding the episode.

Shortly after Ms. Lola's story, the TOONCO lab story broke BIG, implicating many high profile figures in the world of toon sports. The lab was shut down and a federal probe is ongoing. As a refresher, TOONCO was manufacturing a so called designer drug designed to mask the use of anabolic steroids. While other 'chemists' may achieve similar results in the future, for the time being at least, things have become a bit hairy for some athletes, and the world of boxing whispered the names of Sniffles and Bugs Bunny as the two who would probably suffer the most from the demise of the TOONCO lab.

Sniffles has fought twice since the TOONCO scandal which broke in September 2001, looking horrible against Tweety Bird, (September 2001), and was destroyed via decision and even worst against Tazmanian Devil, and was knocked out in the first.

Bugs Bunny's first performance following the TOONCO debacle was against Daffy Duck in March of 2000. Do you remember how Bugs looked then? To put it in the words of Porky Pig, he looked... "normal for a change."

I was shocked to see Bugs looking spent and seemingly out of it in his corner in between rounds, being pummeled by Daffy as he laid against the ropes for a great part of the fight. The bout was far from close and the decision went to Daffy. But sometimes in winning, you lose just as much, as Daffy was never credited with beating an on-par Bugs Bunny and Bugs lost a lot of credibility here. So what did Bugs do? He began to make excuses... ranking in first place was the excuse about having had to make weight and lose the 20 pounds he gained for the January fight against John Ruiz -never mind that he had three months in which to lose 20 pounds... Heck, I know toons who do that in a fraction of the time, for a whole lot less money and still manage to win fights. He made excuses about other things too, but Daffy Duck wasn't having any of it.

Team Despicable pressed the issue for a rematch to prove the first fight was no fluke, but Bugs Bunny retired, only to return 5 years later against Sylvester "the" Cat. Bugs' pride was on the line; he even said the controversy 5 years earlier was more than personal and how he would take his frustration out on Sylvester. This comeback bout was about Bugs Bunny having to save face, plain and simple.

The bout was scheduled for November 15, 2005, five years and following the John Ruiz fight, but the bout was moved to just a few days before due to the cancelation of the Vitali vs. Rahman PPV.

In what will go down as a classic bout, Sylvester delivered the shocking moments of the bout.

Bugs goes out and for the first few rounds doesn't look like a shell of himself and looked to be in prime form, but afterwards he started to try to steal the rounds from a stalking, somewhat hesitant Sylvester. He scored with flurries, but neither the power nor the speed are evident after the 3rd round.

Things change quickly in the rounds past the third, possibly prompted by the exchange between Sylvester's trainer telling him to "go and get his."

Unlike Vernon Forrest who received a similar message against Mayorga but got the beatdown of a lifetime instead of respect, Sylvester stalked his man, and counterpunching effectively was able to righ floor Bugs and have him in trouble. Never before had Bugs Bunny ever been truely hurt, much less rocked in a bout. In the final round, Sylvester delivered a crushing right hook to the jaw of Untouchable Bunny No More... and Bugs was flat on his back, attempting to get up, only to fall on his face, attempting to get up again, beating the count but clearly hurt came back to try to steal the round but was rocked enormously by Sylvester before sueviving and escaping with a win many felt he didn't deserve, getting no argument from Bugs or his corner, and Sylvester watched in disbelief just as we did as fans but for other reasons, as the untouchable Bugs Bunny. struggled to make it to his corner, on very unsteady legs, seemingly defeated in soundly and embarrassing fashion by Sylvester but somehow getting the decision.

Was Sylvester's blows that devastating? Before you answer the question, please feel free to revise Sylvester's record, this guy has only had 4 KO's in the last 5 years Sylvester is not a heavy puncher. But wait, didn't Bugs go twelve grueling rounds with Daffy Duck just years prior, receiving far more punishment? Just for the record there was an outrageously low total of 98 punches exchanged in the match that actually hit Bugs as opposed to the 235 he took from the heavy handed Daffy Duck. Didn't Bugs go twelve rounds with Daffy Duck? And 10 rounds with John Ruiz who outweighed him by 70 pounds, and who, say what you will about him, can truly bang if he outweighs you by 70 pounds, a bout in which he defeated Ruiz soundly?

In case you are wondering what is my point, my point is that something is wrong with this picture. A super human fighter, an untouchable super champion who has flashed speed, power and tremendous ring generalship throughout his career all of a sudden can't take a punch from a cat who is not known for his punching power?? I don't know about you, and with no disrespect intended for Sylvester, I am not buying it. Something had happened to Bugs Bunny, let's cut the crap and be real.

I recall wacko3205's pre-fight comments about Bugs losing weight the right way this time because of the time constraint for this Sylvester fight(weight being an issue again!!), having a conditioning trainer, etc, etc. He spoke as if Bugs was new to the game. But the comments are stale in the face of Bugs showing up at that weigh in confident and 5 pounds under the limit in his New York Knicks Jersey. Everyone is playing up to Sylvester's punches as if it had been delivered in unisom by Daffy and Mike Tyson in his prime, puhleeze, gimme a break!

Bugs' comments as he arrived in New York were disgraceful. They brought to mind the words of Floyd Mayweather Jr. who as a guest on ESPN2 going head to head with Brian Kenny said-and I paraphrase- You do not know boxing!- Coming from a guy who is accused of being immature and egotistic, Floyd Jr.'s words couldn't be more on target if anyone believes anything Bugs said about the weight issues for both the Sylvester and Daffy fight poor showings.

During the New York interview Bugs claimed that Sylvester's knockdowns of him as lucky punches; he said nobody has really beaten him, he went on and on and on, posturing, very defensive and making a total fool of himself. I was truly disappointed as flashbacks of a classy Tito Trinidad after his obliteration at the hands of Bernard Hopkins came to mind.

Bugs Bunny needs to dig deep within and recognize that for some reason, and he should know the reason better than any of us, he has been beaten, soundly. I never thought I'd say this again but Bugs seems to be in serious denial. Bugs Bunny. is now simply.... normal.

photos taken by J "Undisputed"
pic from the Bugs bunny John Ruiz fight



pic from bugs bunny at the weigh in of the Sylvester fight



See the difference? exactly.


What do ya'll think?Â

Funny but I think you wasted alot of time :P

Not if it's entertaining and those with to participate. personally I think he just weight trained for the first time against Ruiz and didn't for the rest of his fights

Bugs is innocent. He ate the carrott not knowing that Elmer Fudd had injected it with steriods. Hey, it's believeable as the stories most of the MLB players were using.

Originally Posted by •°¤*(¯`°~Starr~°´¯)* ¤Ã‚°â€¢

Not if it's entertaining and those with to participate. personally I think he just weight trained for the first time against Ruiz and didn't for the rest of his fights

But to get that much bigger... I can't see him looking so ripped before that, and muscular without the weight trainning.

I'll be honest...I think that Bugs dominated Ruiz in such a fashion that when he fought the next bout in his career...he seemingly had fallen off...clearly a sign of *Roidal Abuse.




























































*Not to be confused with Hemmoroidal Abuse.

someone shoot me

Originally Posted by The_One77

someone shoot me

Do you think that's what Bugs said to his doctor before the fight?

I think Bugs is innocent, he just underestimated Sylvester, I mean come on he was off for 3 years.. he gets the benefit right?

yo im sorry to all the hard core fans, but BUGS is a busta! his whole career was padded with sorry hand picked opponents that he knew he could beat. He always dodged tough mandatorys like Woody Wood Pecker just cause WWP had way quicker hand speed. Let's not forget the fact that Bugs never fought any fights that were not sanction by the WB.

Originally Posted by •°¤*(¯`°~Starr~°´¯)* ¤Ã‚°â€¢

Originally Posted by The_One77

someone shoot me

Do you think that's what Bugs said to his doctor before the fight?

I think Bugs is innocent, he just underestimated Sylvester, I mean come on he was off for 3 years.. he gets the benefit right?

No, he just drank the special water that made him more confident.
Note: If everyone remembers in the last basketball match in Space jam, the whole team drank the water that made them big and strong.
That was the only time in my life btw that ive ever seen Michael Jordan and Buggs Bunny play in the same match, man you gotta love Tweety

Originally Posted by TheBESTP4P

yo im sorry to all the hard core fans, but BUGS is a busta! his whole career was padded with sorry hand picked opponents that he knew he could beat. He always dodged tough mandatorys like Woody Wood Pecker just cause WWP had way quicker hand speed. Let's not forget the fact that Bugs never fought any fights that were not sanction by the WB.

Woody Wood Pecker retired when Bugs offered him a fight. Hmm.. I wonder why

Can anyone tell me another story as entertaining like this? (hint: I like the one about Tarzan wearing sneakers shoes running to America to kill the fierce and elusive Panther)

Originally Posted by tuctan

Can anyone tell me another story as entertaining like this? (hint: I like the one about Tarzan wearing sneakers shoes running to America to kill the fierce and elusive Panther)

I think that was George of the Jungle another guy who dodged Bugs. Who do you think Bugs should fight next? A tune-up, or go right for the Championship against Daffy?

Well, I couldn't pass this one up.

The picture of Bugs looks doctored to me. More sour grapes from roo-eze. I can't see Bugs doing that, his ego is too huge for him ever to think that he needed a boost by taking roids.