Thread: How many kids does it take....................

Ok this is a sort of philosophical question that I saw on a website forum a couple of years ago. It generated loads of thought and humourous discussion so I thought I'd share it here.

Ok, here it is,

The Challenge

You are in a sports hall where you will be in a fight to the death involving you and an infinite number of 5 year old children.

The children have been trained, as best as kids can be, to take you down by swarming on you, and grappling and forcing you to the ground where they will then kick , punch and bite you to death.

You have to fend them off for as long as possible. You are all unarmed.

The question is how many kids could you kill before they overpowered you and what would your survival tactics be?

Now some of you may think you could never be killed by a bunch of 5 year olds, but remember they will keep coming indefinitely so eventually you will succumb, but after how long?

Whoever comes up with a higer score (more kills) than somebody else, has to justify it with a thourough analysis of why and how.



PS. This is pure speculation only and I in no way endorse beating up small children :P

Well perhaps just the really annoying ones

IF ITS TO THE DEATH THEN I SEE MYSELF BEING ABLE TO LAST ABOUT 10 HOURS BEFORE BECOMING EXHAUSTED...  I AM SIX FEET TALL AND 195 LBS...  FAIRLY ATHLETIC...  IM 24 YRS OLD...  IM  A SMOKER, THOUGH...  I WOULD GET INTO A CORNER SO MOST OF MY BACK AND SIDE IS COVERED SO THEY CAN ONLY COME STRAIGHT @ ME AND SNAP THERE NECKS AS THEY COME SO AS TO USE THE LEAST AMOUNT OF ENERGY POSSIBLE...  I SEE ME SLAUGHTERING 300-350 CHILDREN DUE TO MY SIZE AND ATHLETIC ABILITY...  COME @ ME RUGRATS

YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE...........OUR FREEEEEDOOOMMMMMMMMMMM......CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!1

CC, BILBO

Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

IF ITS TO THE DEATH THEN I SEE MYSELF BEING ABLE TO LAST ABOUT 10 HOURS BEFORE BECOMING EXHAUSTED... I AM SIX FEET TALL AND 195 LBS... FAIRLY ATHLETIC... IM 24 YRS OLD... IM A SMOKER, THOUGH... I WOULD GET INTO A CORNER SO MOST OF MY BACK AND SIDE IS COVERED SO THEY CAN ONLY COME STRAIGHT @ ME AND SNAP THERE NECKS AS THEY COME SO AS TO USE THE LEAST AMOUNT OF ENERGY POSSIBLE... I SEE ME SLAUGHTERING 300-350 CHILDREN DUE TO MY SIZE AND ATHLETIC ABILITY... COME @ ME RUGRATS

YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE...........OUR FREEEEEDOOOMMMMMMMMMMM......CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!1

CC, BILBO

Good call, I like the idea of taking to the corner, myself I was thinking maybe stick to the centre of the hall, and grab the first child by the hands and swing them violently around in a cirlce, Neo style and take out several at once with his feet. This would use a lot of energy though so you would be exhausted after about 15 minutes.

It depends on how many kids converge on me at once. If they let them out in swarms of 10 I could last a very, very, very long time. I would disloacted their arms and break their necks. It doesn't take much energy to do that. I think I could last 24 hours or so...

If it were rigged so that every time you killed a child he was replaced by a new one they might overtake me in 8 hours.

If the little monsters kept coming and coming and coming without pause, making it 100 against 1 or even worse than they might take me out in 3 hours...

I think I could kill 1,500 children before they took me out.

Originally Posted by BoxingGorilla

It depends on how many kids converge on me at once. If they let them out in swarms of 10 I could last a very, very, very long time. I would disloacted their arms and break their necks. It doesn't take much energy to do that. I think I could last 24 hours or so...

If it were rigged so that every time you killed a child he was replaced by a new one they might overtake me in 8 hours.

If the little monsters kept coming and coming and coming without pause, making it 100 against 1 or even worse than they might take me out in 3 hours...

I think I could kill 1,500 children before they took me out.

No no boxing gorilla they come out waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy quicker than that. Think Matrix Reloaded when Neo is fighting Agent Smith, hundreds at once, leaping at you, jumping, biting, kicking, completely swarming. I reckon in reality a person could last less than 20 minutes.

Imagine 10 kids jumping on your back, 5 kids pulling each legs, another 10 or so on your arms. These are suicidal, kamikaze rabid frenzied kids who know no fear!

Trust me you wouldn't kill 1500!

Just a thought, I really wish someone would make a web game of this

"No no boxing gorilla they come out waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy quicker than that.  Think Matrix Reloaded when Neo is fighting Agent Smith, hundreds at once, leaping at you, jumping, biting, kicking, completely swarming. I reckon in reality a person could last less than 20 minutes.

Imagine 10 kids jumping on your back, 5 kids pulling each legs, another 10 or so on your arms. These are suicidal, kamikaze rabid frenzied kids who know no fear!
Trust me you wouldn't kill 1500!"


   Okay.  I'll wager that I could slaughter 15 child assassins and injury 30 or more before they piled on so heavy that I couldn't move

Originally Posted by BoxingGorilla

Okay. I'll wager that I could slaughter 15 child assassins and injury 30 or more before they piled on so heavy that I couldn't move

Sounds reasonable, PrideofProvidence still leads then...........

Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

IF ITS TO THE DEATH THEN I SEE MYSELF BEING ABLE TO LAST ABOUT 10 HOURS BEFORE BECOMING EXHAUSTED... I AM SIX FEET TALL AND 195 LBS... FAIRLY ATHLETIC... IM 24 YRS OLD... IM A SMOKER, THOUGH... I WOULD GET INTO A CORNER SO MOST OF MY BACK AND SIDE IS COVERED SO THEY CAN ONLY COME STRAIGHT @ ME AND SNAP THERE NECKS AS THEY COME SO AS TO USE THE LEAST AMOUNT OF ENERGY POSSIBLE... I SEE ME SLAUGHTERING 300-350 CHILDREN DUE TO MY SIZE AND ATHLETIC ABILITY... COME @ ME RUGRATS

YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE...........OUR FREEEEEDOOOMMMMMMMMMMM......CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!1

CC, BILBO

I hope your kidding. You wouldn't get past 50.

INTHE CORNER I WOULD... THIS IS GETTING MORBID BUT IF ITS LIFE AND DEATH.................THIS IS GROSS BUT.........................................OK ID TEAR OPEN ONE OF THE BASTARDS AND PULL A FEW RIBBS OFF AND USE THEM AS STABBING WEAPONS...........ID DO ANYTHING TO SURVIVE

Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

INTHE CORNER I WOULD... THIS IS GETTING MORBID BUT IF ITS LIFE AND DEATH.................THIS IS GROSS BUT.........................................OK ID TEAR OPEN ONE OF THE BASTARDS AND PULL A FEW RIBBS OFF AND USE THEM AS STABBING WEAPONS...........ID DO ANYTHING TO SURVIVE

I'd love to see your bosses face if she caught you writing that!

CANT EVEN BELIEVE I WROTE THAT... THATS GROSS BUT....HEY. AND YES I'D BE DEAD

WHAT? NOONE ELSE....?

Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

WHAT? NOONE ELSE....?

I dunno bud, maybe it's just you and me who are sick?

Someone just sc me in silence, sneaky fuckers,