I fuck in hate double standards sum bird, get a rampant rabbit an it's seen as'a a bit of naughty fun.
but when I ordered my 240 volt fistmaster 5000 latex revolving pussy,with elasticated anus and imitation
shit dribble with breast nipple discharge and seaman collection tray.
With built in realistic rape cry sound system, I'm known as sum kind of sick pervert.;D
2 friends are sitting at a bar drinking and bullshitting, when 1 looks across the bar and sees 2 old guys sitting there drinking. so he says to his friend hey look at the 2 old guys on the other side of the bar, that is going to be us in 20 years. his friend looks at him and says "Thats a Fucking Mirror!"
Where are the good jokes?
I wonder what colour a Smurf would go if i was to choke the twat!!:p
A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man’s penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, and her dad put the wipers on and cleaned it off the screen and drove on like nothing happened.
After a while, the daughter asked her father, “Daddy, what was that that hit the window?”
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, “It was only a bug, Honey.”
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said.. ”Gee it had a big dick, didn’t it?”
A new couple were lying naked in bed and setting some ground rules for sex. The man says to his girlfriend “if I want sex then I will rub your right breast, If I do not want sex then I will rub your left breast”.
The girlfriend says but what about me. So the boyfriend says “OK if you want sex rub my dick up and down one time but if you do not want sex rub it a thousand times”.
I went to the shop the other day and said do you have any helicopter flavour crisps, she said nah we only do plane
Wife gets home from work to find her husband watching the football
again. she says, " im leaving you. All you do is talk about football
and you think about nothing else. Im also seeing someone else.
He is younger than you, more handsome , tender, understanding,
treats me like a lady, has a 12inch cock and fucks me everyday."
" really" replies the husband . " What team does he support ?" .
Sexiest but Funny ;D
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
Told the wife to put her coat on, see said why I'm going to the pub I said I'm I coming as well no
I'm switching the heating off.;D
Muamba wakes up to find Torres has scored twice " fuck me, how many years
was i unconscious ":cool: