Only in Britain.....

Think this has been on before but someone just emailed me it again and it made me chuckle...

Be very proud to be British because:-

Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain...do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can get their cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburger, large fries and a
DIET coke.

Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawnmowers in the garage.

Only in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain...are there disabled parking spaces at the front of an
Ice-skating rink.

Not to Mention...

3 Brits die each year testing to see if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from
new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
whilst the fairy lights were still plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
ornaments were chocolate.

British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after
cracker-pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts from of plastic toys
pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits suffered serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with
a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A+E in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving
out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally...

In 2000, 8 Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up on the
toilet!!

Rule Britannia!!