TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.
ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY.
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get
it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless
paperwork and processes.
404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze,
even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BRITNEY SPEARS.
Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. “Couple of Britney's please"
GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed
from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo!
Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you
wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person
TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
