Sal the Butcher in New York

A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor (I think it was Sal the Butcher) saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, if you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose?

Maybe a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night the sailor smuggled her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he took her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing there?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

”He sure is, lady," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry!"