Friday gag - you'll like this one

A guy decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come as different emotions e.g. fear etc.

On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest.

He says to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?"


And the guy says," I'm green with NV".

The host replies, "Brilliant, come on in and have a drink."

A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped around her most intimate parts.

He says to this woman "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?"

She replies, "I'm tickled pink."

The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the party.

A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, And the host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Mick, Standing stark naked with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the other one with his knob stuck in a pear.

The host is really shocked and says, "Well, what the heck are you two doing? You could get arrested standing out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?!"

Paddy replies, "Well, Oim fokin discustard, and Mick here has just come in dispair!"

ave a cc


good un that ;D

Haha :D

:lolhaha:
That was FWOCKEN FUNNY!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! pissing my pant's here .....
(Everyone in my the office asked what Am I reading, casue I laughed so loud)
;D

CC#358 MarkTKO.....

CC Excellent !!!!!!!!

BAHAHHAHA ;D ;D ;D
CC all day long for that ;)

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
Swimming around in the sea One called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a
prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted"

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark
Boring and lonely.

All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he
Thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his
Friends and bought them all a cocktail.

(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to
the enemy & became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend,
Come out and see me again."

Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've
changed.".........
















"I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian".

I've got one of those new Alphabetical hand grenades in my pocket ;)






















Could spell disaster if it goes off

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "that's them". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem birds in dat cageup there," says Gerry, "Put dem in a paper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "This looks like a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, this looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'|. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, "Feck (and dats not a swear word in Ireland according to Father Ted) thatt, this budgie jumpin' is too feckin' dangerous for me"

======- PART TWO =======
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. "Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, "Bejasus that parrotshootin is too dangerous for me."

======- PART THREE =======
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'paperr bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Feck me Sean, first their was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, them Seamus parrotshootin and now you feckin' hen gliding"