Originally Posted by
Fantana
People we think about all day often turn up in our dreams, it is science. All I know in this dream is it was an intense experience and it was very, very real. Everything from this point on is about my dream, and situated in my dream, unless I say otherwise.
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It was a sunny, summers day, at quarter to two. I know this as I checked my watch as I looked over a pond and drank some water. I was a gardner at this hotel, and then this big black limo pulls up the drive way and out steps Vitali Klitscko and Wladimir Klitscko. I think I must have been an undercover agent, not just a gardner, because I seemed to be spying on them and in my back jeans pocket (I had snugly fit into a waist of 28, and was not carrying any excess weight whatsoever).
After around 15 minutes I snooped into the hotel and saw my all time favourite boxer John Ruiz. He also worked at the hotel as a bag boy. He was dressed in a red outfit, and he looked muscular as hell. He was also undercover and flashed his two uzis stashed in his bell boy outfit.
So I have to go and do some more gardening but when I get back I find John Ruiz in a temper. Apparently Vitali Klitschko had said something to him at the hotel, threatened him. Because John Ruiz is a real man, such as myself, he could not just take being threatened and had to go and level Vitali Klitscko. I am not sure why he did not do it at the time, it seems as if he waited for me to come back. So I said "Look John Ruiz I will go with you and help punch Vitali Klitscko in the head" but John Ruiz flung a table across the hotel room and said "I don't want you to get hurt you are my favourite undercover agent!" And then he ran off out of the hotel and stormed down the lane to this cottage area where the Klitscko has rented out, like a log cabin almost, which was part of the this massive hotel.
I think I went for a man-nap at this time, as I do not recall anything until....Later that night I went to go and see my favourite boxer of all time who I met in real life John Ruiz and I seen he had more grey hairs, and his nose was broken and went across his handsome face. I said to him "John Ruiz we need to get you to the hospital!" And John Ruiz said "No, it doesn't matter. I got beaten by Klitschko." I was fuming mad and punched in the air and felt like I would be able to seriously punch Vitali Klitschko in the head and not break my man hands, so I did 15 press ups in one go (all time personal record) and jumped in the air and said to John Ruiz in his face I said "John Ruiz, you stay here. I will get these fucks. Sorry for swearing I am pysched." John Ruiz didn't blink.
I ran off down the lane and saw a fox and it said to me "Where are you going so fast?" But it aslo sort of hissed like a snake. I was a little scared as I didn't want to get eaten by the fox, but then I realized badgers are more dangerous and foxes are widely considered friendly to undercover agents and I looked in the foxes eyes and said "I am going to go and knock out Vitali Klitschko because he beat up John Ruiz, he is nearly forty that is just not right!" The fox looked surprised that someone would punch an old man, blatantly ignoring the fact Vitali Klitschko is actually about forty, although in the dream I think he was like 29, and his brother was a bit younger again.
I got to where Vitali Klitschko was in this log cabin and as I open the door it is an endless black hole that goes on forever. Suddenly a light candle gets lit and out of the shadows steps Vitali Klitschko, who is absolutely massive. Like 6 foot 7 and a half. I said to him "If you wanted a street fight why didn't you try my cousin who is also 6 foot 7" Klitscko didn't move. Suddenly I launched into an attack, which in my man-mind I was running through and this montage of John Ruiz training my ran through my head as I unleashed this devastating combination. I jabbed, ducked under Klitsckos retaliation punch, then pretended to punch him with a left and actually through a Mike Tyson like right hook. Then bit Klitschko on the neck, took out an axe and cut off his head and told Wladimir Klitschko to "Fuck off or your next". I felt pretty cool and then went outside and sicked up a little bit of a Vitalis neck flesh which tasted like ham.
A buzzer went off in my pocket and it was Mr. Dos from Agent Oso. He told me good work but it wasn't over yet and I had to meet up with John Ruiz who will tell me more at the hotel. I ran quickly to where John Ruiz was, and then we stepped through the portal and were dressed as german fighter pilots and where on a massive ship. Because I had killed Vitali Klitschko a war had started off, and we had to pretend to be Germans, who could fly planes. For some reason I started smoking cigars. The german rats where getting on these planes, so me and John Ruiz got in the planes also. Our planes were Me109s, and fast as fuck. John Ruiz followed in his plane which had a picture of Hitler on the side, but he had huge boobs, it kind of distracted me and I accidentally shot John Ruiz's plane. I started crying and had to put my plane into autipilot and then jump out and walk on the wing whilst John Ruiz lay unconscious in his plane, I was able to jump onto his plane wing, kick in the glass, drag John Ruiz out and then carry us onto my plane just as his plane blew up.
The germans had then decided we were undercover agents and started firing at us, so with a still unconscious John Ruiz I had to shoot down five or so germans and then I had to do an emergency landing. Just as I was about to land the plane in a corn field which had a crop circle of a smiling John Ruiz holding his WBA belt up, John Ruiz looked woke up and said "Turn off the alarm quick!"
Then my alarm clock went off. Well actually it was my wife shouting at me for still being in bed. I couldn't stop thinking about my dream so I thought I would write it up for everyone to enjoy. It is what John would want.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana
