Favorite funny quotes (any celebrities)

I tried dredging up an existing thread, but saw none that fit this description. So here it is. Post any quote by any celebrity (sports or otherwise) that you have found completely hilarious, and has stayed in your mind.

One of my personal favorites is from John McKay, a college-turned-pro American football coach who had the misfortune of coaching the hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers back in the 70's. McKay was a walking quote machine, even from his days in college football, it appears.

One time, after a particularly ugly loss by the Buccaneers, a reporter came up to McKay and asked:

Reporter: "Coach, what do you think of your team's execution?"

McKay: "I'm in favor of it."


Another time, while at USC, he had this to say about his team's dismal performance:

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."


I don't know how good a coach he was, but the guy certainly had a sense of humor.
He had to. His Buccaneers lost the first 26 games of their existence.... finally winning their first game in 1977.

Referee: "I've given you the instructions in the dressing room, I expect you to have a good clean fight, are there any questions?"

Larry Holmes: "Yeah, can you count to 10?"

One of the best trash talk lines in the history of sport!

I hated Larry Holmes... but that was a good quote to begin the hostilities.
I wonder how he did in that particular fight.....

Tarver's against Jones, when the ref asked were there any questions and Antonio said......

Not a celebrity but a brilliant line from a guy in work today.

"Just had some terrible news......my tattooist has died"

"Ah sorry to hear that mate, were you close?"

"Nah not really......its just that my sleeve isnt finished"

Gordon Strachan has some good ones.

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"

Strachan: "Velocity" (walks off).

Reporter: "Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?"

Strachan: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."

On Wayne Rooney: "Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson".

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has some quality ones too. Think my favourite one is this:

Reporter: "What are you going to get your wife for her birthday?"

Ibrahimovic: "Nothing. She already has Zlatan".

Gil Clancy on air asks Buddy McGirt who he thinks is going to win the fight between Maurice Blocker and Glenwood Brown.

Buddy: "The black guy"

'I spent half my money on booze, gambling, and women.....the other half I squandered" - Babe Ruth

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Zlatan Ibrahimovic also said to Pepe his manager at the time "you brought a Ferrari but you are driving it like a fiat".

The day Chris hoy refers to Chris hoy in the third person is the day Chris hoy disappears up his own arse.