Father And Son Relationship

How many of you do not get along with your fathers ? And do any of you have fathers whose passed away? If so what are your regrets and what would you have done differently?

I ask because I never got along with my pops. Ever. He's one of those old fashioned, man of few words and I could never communicate with him. It's weird because here's a man who ive known all my life yet I still feel ackward around him and i just dont feel comfortable. Maybe it's because him and I have absolutely nothing in common? Pops always told me that he sees alot of himself in my sister but that Im nothing like him which is true.

When I see other dads with their sons, they seem to get along fine. They watch sports together, drink, joke around about stuff, dad gives son good advices etc.. Are most people like this?

I dont think Ive ever traded more than a few words with the guy but when I do, I feel so frustrated because we dont see eye to eye on anything and often times, I feel like punching him right in the fuckin mouth.

Dont get me wrong. Im not trying to play the sad violin here because I dont really give a shit but Im just wondering how many of you have this kind of relationship..

I can't relate to that. While I'm not best friends with my Dad like some of my buddies are with theirs we have a great relationship and enjoy spending time together. One of my best friends has basically been drinking buddies with his old man since he was 15 or 16. At 35 it is fine but there were some teenage years where he would have benefitted from a more fatherly relationship. I distinctly remember my dad telling me as a teenager "Son, I'm not your friend, I'm your father.....now go mow the lawn and shut your mouth."

my father was a block-headed know-it-all who could never admit he was wrong. it would hurt his pride to say he was wrong. esp. if it came to me and my sister. never felt too close to him for that.

I am my Father. It took alot of time and hardship to realize that I was cut close from the cloth, for the great and the bad, but it is what it is. I don't lose sight that he has changed...almost evolved..from the time he was 40 to the man who has his 74th birthday this month. The last thing I want the old man to do is shoulder guilt, still, because his old man was a shell-shocked abusive stranger and pops had to learn on his own and his kids lived it. Navy brats all from day one. The great out weighs the bad and the laughs out weigh the regret. Big time!

Mine is a great, I love the guy he puts family before personal judgements of any kind in all matters.

Being a DAD, is hard work there is no manual, you can give advice weather your Kids take it
on-board,! , growing up drinking to much doing stupid things.
Most advice I give is from the fuck ups I made, when your young you need some advice put
it this way, it's a hard JOB being a dad.:)

It's complicated.

Take him out for dinner or something, I got a hard time to put myself in your position though.
I get along to well with my dad, When i was young he taught me how to box for example, We can talk about anything, but sometimes it feels more like a friend than a dad...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xwetie

Take him out for dinner or something, I got a hard time to put myself in your position though.
I get along to well with my dad, When i was young he taught me how to box for example, We can talk about anything, but sometimes it feels more like a friend than a dad...

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It's time for life lessons with Xwetie.

I am not close to my dad but respect him for working night shifts in a foundry for 36 years to look after us when he was actually well educated. He scared the living daylights out of me just with the stare.

I am a mothers boy. :)

I was never close to my dad growing up,he was a big drinking hard irishman,very closed emotionally,
very hard working and always provided for us.Only really got to know the real him when he was
dying when i spent a lot of time with him,wish i done it sooner now,he was a good man but we
were very different people.Bless him.
I am so different,my kids mean the world to me,i cant get home quick enough to see them.
we have so much fun , love teaching them new things and seeing them enjoying themselves.
I am a lucky man.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by roberto duran legend

I was never close to my dad growing up,he was a big drinking hard irishman,very closed emotionally,
very hard working and always provided for us.Only really got to know the real him when he was
dying when i spent a lot of time with him,wish i done it sooner now,he was a good man but we
were very different people.Bless him.
I am so different,my kids mean the world to me,i cant get home quick enough to see them.
we have so much fun , love teaching them new things and seeing them enjoying themselves.
I am a lucky man.

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That is a great thing.I love good parents that spend time with their children because they wanted them in the first place.
I dont get how some people can be so heartless (to used the term twice in a day) to be able to either father children and leave them all over abandoned to others or even have some with one woman and then get back to their own life style, choosing not the get to know any of them. We know its their loss,but they wont be able to see it until its too late.

I can honestly there is probably no one in this world I respect more. My dad has always offered a balance of wise advice and a wry sense of humour about life. If you don't appreciate a good fart joke, then there's no point going on is one of my favourite philosophies about life. Physically, we are completely different. He's on the low side of ten stone, I'm over twice that, and the only real physical trait we share is a rather odd lack of body hair.

However, when it comes to intellect, I like to think we are pretty close, although I do feel he probably has the edge with an extra 35 years' knowledge on me. Such a broad taste in music, i once had to ask him to turn the music down cause I had school in the morning... Extremely literate and with a huge library of books (he's taken over two rooms plus some of the basement for storage of books and records), I can honestly say he encouraged me to be curious, cynical, literate and with a decent appreciation for music from all kinds of different genres.

When he retired a few years ago we went on a month long trek to the Himalayas, and I hope to do a few more before both he and I don't have the legs anymore. My love of sport is one thing I don't share with him, although fair play he did play a lot of soccer with me when I was a kid, probably cause I pestered and dragged him away from books, music and generally being the best dad I could hope for.

This sounds gushing I know, but while I may have lost out in many areas of luck and fate, having a good dad was definitely one area where I was extremely lucky.

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door


I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years


Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got


You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence


Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye


So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts


So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be OK.


Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye


I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say


I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years


Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k