Woman Troubles

Well that took a long read,

let me give you guys an update, this will be sorta a rant, from all the things i read...

about me leaving the coffee house, well she was basically gonna leave too, she had a meeting to go to, we had already talked, then she went to change, so there was no reason for me to stay,

i talked with lots of people about this, i guess we both knew this was gonna happen, she told me basically she "fell out of love with me" basically tihngs got boring, a bunch of things, and this guy was the last nail in it. I mean i guess i was more hanging onto hope that this was just a rut and we would get through it, and we didn't she knew it and i did to, but i guess she got that final push with this other guy.

So now...

I had just failed by test at night school, i really wasn't thinking about the test, more about her, and how fucking drunk i was gonna get, then i did get FUCKING drunk! and I am tonightas well, and on the May 24 weekend!!! maybe that will be enough,

But we agreed to be friends, and she said that she doesn't know, like "maybe i'll realize in a month that i made a mistake etc..." and i said, ok "we'll see what happens if its meant to be than it will happen"

with that we said goodbye, i don't plan on calling her or talking to her till a month from now when our 2 years was supposed to be, just to say hi, see how things are goiing,

Now i have a different problem, what do i do now...
do I try and go after other chicks? b.c with my thinking i got a few senerios... once sept hits and the dude is gone... another thing is that i dont want this to happen every time she sees this guy... and I was really hoping he was at the bar last night, maybe even with her, then i would kow that she didnt give a rats ass, and i could eithr smash a bottle over his head, or punch him in the face, i figure i owe him that at least

A) I don't fool around, i hold it down, and resist, even tho the opportunites are there, and then I find out she did stuff, this is the worst case, ESPCIALLY if it is with this guy, then I have decided i will NOT take her back, no matter what! bc basically she chose him or me,

B) I fool around, and then in sept find out she didn't, obviously i think i would take her back,assuming i was resonably sure she was telling the truth, i guess i would feel kinda shitty, but i figure were even

C) we both fool around, if its with the dude, then itdone and never again, but if its with a random guy? i don't know the possiblility is still there,

D) niether of us do anytihng, and we both get back in sept.

now i think those are all the options right now... i understand were young, and we both kinda need space, which is fine, and i personally woudn't mind gaingin more experience... so, but i will feel like poop is she didn't and i did, but a HELLof a lot worse if i held out and she didn't , so thats where were at right now, well actually im at work, and gonna get DRUNK!!!!!!!! tonight as well, some buddys tohguth it would be good to go out and get her off my mind

Option B man (without caring about what her shit).. All this stuff Starr is saying, it's naive - this is obviously fucking with how you think, probably really confused at the moment but theres one thing thats for certain. You're thinking of her, she's NOT thinking of you, atleast not to the same extent. Being the only one who can answer this question SOBO, do you really think she's concerned about you? Think long and hard about how shes been acting then ask yourself that question. If the answers no, then you know what to do. If the answers yes can you try and pick up the pieces? Sure but this girl obviously can't be trusted, you know that. So if this ever did work itself out, keep the relationship sexual, atleast for you anyway. If and when she pulls this nonsense again, no biggie move on. Being young and in school, casual sex isn't something thats hard come by - you're waaaaaaay to young to be taking relationships seriously, atleast not this serious.

Remember, before all this mess came about, the relationship was about the both of you, now it's clearly about her - you don't need that selfish bullshit in your life. Guys pull this same crap SOBO, the best thing that could possibly happen to you is move on, and eventually find a woman who shares this same hurt. Both of you will have something to share and an understanding of never fuckin do this or someones throat will be slit. But sorry, this chick will never understand what you're going through because she's not on the receiving and probably never has been. Otherwise she wouldn't of done this. Don't give up on women, it's not your fault you spent the last 2 years with one who doesn't know the definition of selfless.

Just be yourself. You don't need to wait around for her. You can move on with your life now. So live your life as you would. A few days will be harder then others. But don't live your life dictated by what she thinks. And the most important thing to do is, don't wait for her. Live your life and never call first, if you call her first then she has the power to pick up or not pick up. But if she calls you first, and you don't answer, she'll be thinking about it.

Do everything you do in spite of her. If she says she got bored with everything that happened over almost 2 years then you can move on knowing there was nothing more you could do.

Now it's on HER to make a move toward you, and it's up to you whether to say no or not. You're in the best place because "she" decided to step away. now the best thing for you to do is to not act needing towards her. Just live your life like you would and you don't need to drown your sorrows over her because she's not drowning her sorrows about you.

Best thing to do right now is just live your life and if she decides to try to get back in it, its your choice how far. because if it was a mistake it was HER mistake and she has to earn back. but you don't have to do anything different because it's her and not you.

So just live your life and leave it to her to do whatever she wants to do while you live your life doing what you want to do without worrying about what she's doing.

Like I said, when you make the effort you're not the one who made the mistake she is. So let her have the situation on her mind, you don't have to deal with it anymore for now.

So you don't need to drink or anything, just live like you would.

So do whatever you would do as yourself. Just make sure she doesn't factor in because at this point you need not to even concern yourself with what she does anymore.

I never understood gay men till now. Even though the idea of two men being with one another still sickens me, think about it....

When one of them pulls this shit they can simply throw down, no big deal 2 (gay) men fighting. Can't do that in a hetero relationship otherwise SOBO would be doing just fine :(

And like I said SOBO. You showed unselfishness and she still made the selfish decision.

Now its HER mistake. you needn't worry bout her anymore since she's said more about herself by making that decision then she would have by not.

You've learned more about what kind of person she is, which will mean a lot in the long run.

If 2 months goes by and she tries to step back into your life ask yourself if you really want her back given what you know about her.

Know that in a situation that you were unselfish she made a selfish decision and ask yourself if you really want that back.

This makes things much easier for you. just live your life and don't even give a fvck bout what she does because you know all about her now. Things that she didn't reveal for a year and a half. That she is selfish.

btw SOBO don't let what I said make you go fag, it's bad but not that bad

Some options:

1. Run amok with an AK47, killing as many people as you can before you die horribly in a hail of gunfire.
2. Infect yourself with AIDS then get back together with her
3. Become a suicide bomber
4. Actually seriously try and give people you don't know advice on how to lead their life. The internet is good for this.
5. Grow up

I must admit that some of the bleeding heart namby-pamby advice you are getting from the various assorted wackos on this thread is sorely tempting me to do all of the above apart from (4) myself.

I think this weekend will be a big help, i know i don't have to drink, but hey! imyoung, and im supposed to do stupid things!

I know the first bit will be hard, as time goes on it will get easier, so I guess calling her on the "2 year" is a bad idea?

nontheless, I will try and not think about her, as much as i can anyway, and then if it arises, then i can look at this thread again, and remember how i felt, althought im sure its not gonna go away that quickly,

It won't. If you loved her, It'll hurt like fuck for a bit. Accept it.







However...it will get better ;)

...and the good news is getting over someone is simply a matter of distraction.

Get out with the boys, cut off all contact and take time out for yo'badself.

Little bit further down the line you'll realise you've not actually thought about her that morning/day/night and you'll think 'what was all the fucking fuss about'?

Trust ol'Steelie ;)

I hope it will be like that, i gotta get rid of all the things that remind me of her, i already stash away the two picture frames she gave me, i gotta grab the rest of the cards/notes etc put those in as well, and then on to my comp, put all pics of me and her, and her, in some single folder when i don't have to see them,

i know it will sting, but thats fine, it's supposed to isn't

yup.

Just live your life in spite of her.. she's no longer a factor and its your decision from now on if she would be.. but you don't have to do shat.

You gave her your time already and she rejected it so you don't have to do a thing for her or even worry bout her.

today i tihnk i won a round....

she starting talking to me on msn, i was on the phone with my buddy, and she said hi, i was short and sweet, basically told her that i think the only reason she broke up with me is cuz of this other dude, I think being the woman she wanted to put the honus on me to do sometihng, the first thing she said was "just wanted to see how you were doing, and she said if you don't want to talk now, i'll wait for you to talk" i was bold, and not a pussy and told her that this was her choice, she choose not to be with me, i told her that no one will love her as much as i do, and she admited that to me, basically i am not going to let her put it back on me, "oyou can talk to me if you want" F that, i am not letting her off, i ended it with, sometihng to the effect of, "you broke my heart, and you made the choice, so now you live your life, and i will live mine." and then i got off, so i got th elast word in,

she also mentioned in the convo that she does not want this other guy, b.c she does not just want to be used for sex, which is basically what will happen if she does go out with him, he goes back somewhere else in 3-4 months, and if that happens, she has lost not one, but two people she cares/ed about

just to keep you guys updated

dude this is the golden opportunity!! drop her totally. Cut yourself off. Go do other things. Do some personal growth stuff. Something that you like to do. Do not call her on the anniversary bro. DONT YOU DARE!!

I am telling you to make yourself interesting to other chicks. You are acting like a MAN!!!! I am proud of you.

FOLLOW MY ADVICE, I know it is too soon to go out with other chicks cause you are hurting BUT think of a hot chick that you were attracted to while you were going out with your EX. That is right I said EX. That is what she is. Get used to it. Think of a chick who you were attracted to. Imagine how nice it would feel to have her by your side. A movie, a night at the beach perhaps.

Ask her out, no commitments, just simply to have fun. Or go out with your buds.

bro, you are too young to be settled down. Wait a while. I tell you, cutting your EX off completely will not only help you heal faster but your EX will think that you did not need her. AND in truth you dont. You look like a man now bro! COntrol of your own DESTINY. THis is what I want you to realize. You be in control, you call the shots. take the pain like a man, it WILL GO AWAY BELIEVE ME.

I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

things will turn out good in the end

a man who is in control of his own destiny, will be attractive to other chicks

So she broke up with you ... and then the next day says she doesn't want the other guy ??? So what she's just staying single ??? I don't get the logic she's trying to use unless she's just making stupid decision after stupid decision ;D

Through everything if you ever talk about it don't ler her pin anything on you. Remember, nothing was you, it was all her. So don't let her try the usual "well it was up until when you did this." Don't let her do that :)