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I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents the other day.After saying
hello,my dad pulled me to one side and whispered " you could have done better
than that son. She is the ugliest pig i have ever seen, she must weigh 23 stone,
covered in spots,lips like a cod,shes got a beard,and is cross eyed,got a bald head,
size 13 feet,and lastly she fucking stinks.".I said " there is no need to whisper dad
she is deaf......
Last Jimmy Savile joke i promise.
George Clooney and Brad Pitt are making a film about the life of
Jimmy Savile.......
Oh she,s eleven.
Jimmy Salvile is reported to be alive well, he's been seen in the Irish sea bobbing up and down on a boy.;D
I get the feeling most of Jimmy Saviles victims were Manchester City fans.
They dont say fuck all for 40 years , then they all pipe up at once.
One of the Asian paedos who groomed young girls in Rochdale was known locally as Jamaal Fixit.
Christmas has been cancelled this year at Stoke Mandevil hospital.The hospital administrators
have announced the thought of another visit by a white haired man emptying his sack,
is to much of a risk.
coworker sent me this
from Tim Tebow's Lost Emails - Grantland
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/1107...winbox_576.jpg
go to link for bigger/readable pic
Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for a required medical. A few days later
the doctor phones. "Paddy" he says "you have sugar diabetes" paddy says "no problem,
when do i fight the fecker".
Teacher asks the class, can you give me a word ending with tor that eats, Billy says Alligator Miss,
well done, Kate says Predator Miss very good, Johnny says Vibrator Miss, teacher that doe's not eat
anything,! Johnny my sister has one, and she says it don't half eat batteries.;D
So apparently Lincoln is doing well in the theaters........despite historical evidence to the contrary
Bought a couple of old pirate earrings a buck an ear.
Experts have predicted that by 2025 you will be no more than six feet away from an ex Chelsea manager.
I never believed that the bloke next door, a lolipop man, was stealing from work,
but all the signs were there.
My doctor told me to avoid saturated fat. So i stopped shagging the wife in the shower.
I've just been sitting here for 5 mins, looking at my new sig gif on loop...laughing my ass off.