What's worse than a male chauvanist pig?
A woman that won't do as she's told ;D
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What's worse than a male chauvanist pig?
A woman that won't do as she's told ;D
All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my arse,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,
hows about that then.;)
I was telling the wife about my new job,! I'm paid to have sex live on stage, she said your having me
on, I can ask but up to now they have been thin and pretty.;D
Bought the wife some pills off the internet,we now have sex every night.
Doesn,t matter what position we are in,nothing wakes her.
The wife has asked for something in silk for her christmas present...
No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong fucking colour.
...a woman walking down a residential street noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She called out to him as she passed.
'Hello there! I couldn't help but notice how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?'
'I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,' he replied. 'I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat nothing but fast food, and never exercise.'
'Wow!' the woman was amazed.
'How old are you?' she asked.
'26,' he replied...;D...
This is not exactly a joke but it'll give you some good laffs so...
...And... it's rated xxx so anyone below 18 is not allowed, Master is exempted though.
In my military brat days in our school in one of the US bases in Japan, during our first sex education class when I was in grade 5, our teacher set up illustration on the blackboard of male and female reproductive organs. With the male reproductive system, everything was loud and clear, you know where and what they were, it was pretty obvious. But with the female ones, with that pearl-shaped organ and all, not everything was clear, as you all probably remember. So one of our naughty boys whispered - a bit too loudly - 'hey guys, where's the pu:o:oy!!!'
'where's the pu:o:oy! ! !'
...and after a moment of silence, the little girls and boys in the class started to giggle, and I'm sure our teacher heard it too since she was trying hard to hide her naughty smile, which she miserably failed... As they say, 'kids sez the darnest things,'
P.S. Att: mods, if you deem this inappropriate, you may move it to the hidden board...LOL.
Man walk into a pub, behind the bar is a bxum bar maid, he takes a fancy to her he asks here out,
she says will you prick touch your arss no he say's. after weeks of trying he tells her.
His prick will now touch his arss, that's great now go and fuck yourself.;D
Mark TKO trying to work windows 8, that is all.
Where's the joke? Did I miss something?
You missed nothing mate this is a spammer they try to sneek in a few posts so they can then drop spam links in everywhere.
The jokes on him, Juke Nukem nuked his ass.
A poor man asks God, 'God, what is a million years to you?'
God replies, 'My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.'
The man asks, 'God, what is a million dollar to you?'
God replies, 'My son, a million dollar to you is less than a cent to me.'
The man asks, 'So God, can I have a million dollar?'
And God replies, 'wait a second.'
Jewish guy Hymie prays to God every day about winning the lottery.
HE walks up to the synagogue every day of his long life and lights the candles and asks for a blessing.
As an old man on his death bed he gives up the idea completely and asks God why he never won.
God appears and says "Hymie you old Jew, meet me half way buy a fucking ticket!"
Guy wakes up in hell and is thoroughly bummed out.
The devil asks what the problem is.
Guy replies. I'm in hell that's the problem.
The devil asks do you like drinking?
Guy replies sure I like drinking.
Devil says well you are going to love Mondays. You can drink for 24 hours.
Guy says wow that's great.
The devil asks do you like smoking pot?
Guy replies yes I like smoking pot.
Devil says well you are going to love Tuesdays. Smoke weed 24 hours.
Guy replies wow this is starting to look great.
The devil asks do you like gambling?
Guy replies yes I like gambling.
Devil says well you are going to love Wednesdays then. Gamble for 24 hours.
Guy replies this has got to be heaven not hell.
Then the devil asks you dont happen to be gay are ya?
Guy replies well no I'm not.
Devil replies well you are going to hate Thursdays.
Time to choose between 2 women i have been shagging, One loves anal sex, the other has
massive tits.Its basically shit or bust.
This must be linked to IamInuit’s joke because you must be in heaven for that to happen. Or it could be Friday for you in hell.Quote:
Originally Posted by roberto duran legend