Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaxxKahn
OK. It is official the pure tourture of XMAS at my house has begun...My in-laws have arrived..Mom,Dad, Sister Stacy, Other Sister Peggy Husband Jim and 3 snot, nosed kids....Plus...The countless Aunts and Uncles that will follow in hours...My family will not come within a 100 miles of this place...According to them my in-laws are the offspring of the Devil himself....Now until Tuesday morning I will not only be around the most annoying people to ever walk the face of the Earth but I will have thoughts of leaving my family and running to the first Catholic church I see and claim sanctuary...I swear on my manhood it's that bad....
My Mother in law already started with the " I hope you aren't thinking of putting us on the sleeper sofa?...I need quiet at night to sleep" ::** and "You know it seems like such a nice neighborhood around here but I heard that property value is gonna go down real soon :-\...You should have looked into it more before you bought this place"....BITCH!!!...I OWN A TOWNHOUSE THE MAYOR's BROTHER AND POLICE CHIEF LIFE IN THE SAME COMPLEX VALUE IS NOT DROPPING YOU LIVE 200 MILES AWAY HOW THE F*** WOULD YOU KNOW AND ALL YOU WANT IS TO SLEEP IN MY MEMORY FOAM BED!! >:mad >:mad...but alas all I can say is "Of course you can just have our room and Your right I should have looked into it more"
By 7pm My Father in law will be drunk on some unknown brand of cheap beer whose slogan is "IF IT WASN'T LIQUID IT WOULD BE CRACK!!!" :cwm3:....Yet tell me I am cheap because I bought a used car instead of new one??. :soapbox:..Then as he starts to get his oats on he will feint jabs at my face going "You still own that fist fight place...Gym or whatever you call it?...I'll go some rounds with ya...ha ha..just kiddin" :boxing2: and as he gets drunker will say..."YOU KNOW WHAT I AM ON TO YOU!!!!..A MAN OF YOUR ETHNIC BACKGROUND DOESN'T HAVE MONEY FOR A HOME LIKE THIS HONESTLY...SELL ADVERTISING SPACE MY a** YOU SELL HEROIN!!" :cwm36: :shakehead:
All followed by my sister in law Stacy...who will start asking about my friend Eddie :boobies: :cwm31: and tell me how good looking he is...Mother in law saying "I can't understand why she has such a hard time getting a good man? :oooh:...She would make a great wife for anyone..I think it is her ability to be independent"...as she tells my wife :smilie_whisper: "You should be more like her.."....STACY IS NOT INDEPENDENT...SHE HAS NO MAN BECAUSE SHE HAS A HUGE NOSE..SCRATCHES HER CROTCH IN PUBLIC AND POSSES MORE BACK HAIR THEN A ROOM FULL OF RUSSIANS!!!
Add it all to Peg who hasn't spoke in like 13 years and her husband who I am positive huffs paint in my garage!!!!...Plus their kids are forever stealing something of my kids...stuff like socks???.....Truth be told the whole crew scares me...and they are the best of the lot....I am not even sure my wife is really related to them??...mix ups used to happen all the time in hospitals back then ??? :phone:
I swear it is the same every year!!!!
So if anyone would be soo kind...I will bring gifts for everyone :toff:....I am neat and clean :brushteeth: don't hog the bathroom :wc:... I don't eat much :feedme:and if I can just show them something posted that shows I have an invite...I won't even have to come in the house :cold:...I just need an excuse!!! ANY EXCUSE!!!!
If not then???....Everyone have a Merry Christmas...Don't worry about me...I'll be OK. :'(......I am offering a lot of MONEY $$$$....I have a ton of frequent flyer miles....I can be anywhere by morning ;)...Just figured I would throw it out there :D
:coolclick: that was funny as fuck!
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Here's what you do...because I've been there & done that with the in-laws...get drunk as fwock & pop in a vallium or lori-tab...anything that your'e not supposed to mix with alcohol & let it all hang out.
No shit. Tell 'em how you feel...because if you don't...they'll do this to you & walk all over you for the rest of your married lives.
Seriously. The best line to use...because I've used it on both my mother in law, father in law, & my wife's sistah: "Until you start paying some bills here, changing diapers, cleaning this house, or screwing your daughter...my wife...you need to keep your mouths shut & your opinions about my life to yourselves!"
Trust me babe...works everytime. If it doesn't...all you gotta do is blame it on the liquor & pills...but it'll work babe...no shit.
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
LMAo,great read Daxx,I hope it works out for you,if not follow Wack's advice,sounds like he's been there plenty of times!!
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
LOL thanks for all the support CC all around...Hey Wacko I think if I followed your advice it would only fuel my racist Father in law with a bunch of I TOLD YOU SO's....Though it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces... :o :o
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by beds
smashups place in london is free at the moment.
hes in devon.
spare key under the brick below the postbox.
dont associate with any locals or you would wish u were back home ;)
enjoy
;D
;D good one...
Smash will out for about 9 days. Should be enough time for you to enjoy Daxx...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaxxKahn
OK. It is official the pure tourture of XMAS at my house has begun...My in-laws have arrived..Mom,Dad, Sister Stacy, Other Sister Peggy Husband Jim and 3 snot, nosed kids....Plus...The countless Aunts and Uncles that will follow in hours...My family will not come within a 100 miles of this place...According to them my in-laws are the offspring of the Devil himself....Now until Tuesday morning I will not only be around the most annoying people to ever walk the face of the Earth but I will have thoughts of leaving my family and running to the first Catholic church I see and claim sanctuary...I swear on my manhood it's that bad....
My Mother in law already started with the " I hope you aren't thinking of putting us on the sleeper sofa?...I need quiet at night to sleep" ::** and "You know it seems like such a nice neighborhood around here but I heard that property value is gonna go down real soon :-\...You should have looked into it more before you bought this place"....BITCH!!!...I OWN A TOWNHOUSE THE MAYOR's BROTHER AND POLICE CHIEF LIFE IN THE SAME COMPLEX VALUE IS NOT DROPPING YOU LIVE 200 MILES AWAY HOW THE F*** WOULD YOU KNOW AND ALL YOU WANT IS TO SLEEP IN MY MEMORY FOAM BED!! >:mad >:mad...but alas all I can say is "Of course you can just have our room and Your right I should have looked into it more"
By 7pm My Father in law will be drunk on some unknown brand of cheap beer whose slogan is "IF IT WASN'T LIQUID IT WOULD BE CRACK!!!" :cwm3:....Yet tell me I am cheap because I bought a used car instead of new one??. :soapbox:..Then as he starts to get his oats on he will feint jabs at my face going "You still own that fist fight place...Gym or whatever you call it?...I'll go some rounds with ya...ha ha..just kiddin" :boxing2: and as he gets drunker will say..."YOU KNOW WHAT I AM ON TO YOU!!!!..A MAN OF YOUR ETHNIC BACKGROUND DOESN'T HAVE MONEY FOR A HOME LIKE THIS HONESTLY...SELL ADVERTISING SPACE MY a** YOU SELL HEROIN!!" :cwm36: :shakehead:
All followed by my sister in law Stacy...who will start asking about my friend Eddie :boobies: :cwm31: and tell me how good looking he is...Mother in law saying "I can't understand why she has such a hard time getting a good man? :oooh:...She would make a great wife for anyone..I think it is her ability to be independent"...as she tells my wife :smilie_whisper: "You should be more like her.."....STACY IS NOT INDEPENDENT...SHE HAS NO MAN BECAUSE SHE HAS A HUGE NOSE..SCRATCHES HER CROTCH IN PUBLIC AND POSSES MORE BACK HAIR THEN A ROOM FULL OF RUSSIANS!!!
Add it all to Peg who hasn't spoke in like 13 years and her husband who I am positive huffs paint in my garage!!!!...Plus their kids are forever stealing something of my kids...stuff like socks???.....Truth be told the whole crew scares me...and they are the best of the lot....I am not even sure my wife is really related to them??...mix ups used to happen all the time in hospitals back then ??? :phone:
I swear it is the same every year!!!!
So if anyone would be soo kind...I will bring gifts for everyone :toff:....I am neat and clean :brushteeth: don't hog the bathroom :wc:... I don't eat much :feedme:and if I can just show them something posted that shows I have an invite...I won't even have to come in the house :cold:...I just need an excuse!!! ANY EXCUSE!!!!
If not then???....Everyone have a Merry Christmas...Don't worry about me...I'll be OK. :'(......I am offering a lot of MONEY $$$$....I have a ton of frequent flyer miles....I can be anywhere by morning ;)...Just figured I would throw it out there :D
May god have mercy on your soul. ;D
Not sure if my girl is gonna bring her parents over but the times I've met her dad have beeb something. Hes a member of the IKA (International Karate Assocation) hes been to 2 Olympics as a judge. He has a full storage room full of trophys and talks about how Bruce Lee is the best fighter ever to live. I been the idiot that I'am like to stir up some shet! and say that in a real fight Chuck Norris would have his ways with Bruce being that Chuck was physcally bigger then Bruce and that Chuck had the history behind him with trophys and honors to prove his greatness. This shit! pisses him off he starts rambling on of Bruces techniques and by the end of the night he and I are standing face to face as he demostrates moves and techniques and uses me as his dummy. Bastards actually hit me hard on a few occasions. >:mad . After the Bruce Lee talks comes the History lessons in Mexican Boxing he lectures me on how todays fighters are cowards and don't have the heart of warrior like they did back in the days.
All good fun and talk with him, I mean he knows everything and talks about anything...... He has an endless library of knowledge..
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaxxKahn
LOL thanks for all the support CC all around...Hey Wacko I think if I followed your advice it would only fuel my racist Father in law with a bunch of I TOLD YOU SO's....Though it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces... :o :o
On a serious note ! you need to mix it up Daxx , one year for Christmas you put up with her in-laws.. the next year she put up with yours. Marriage is a give and take type thing ,. Obviously you put up with all this shit for your wife, does she know how you feel? her dad's racist tirades gotta come to an end, . I'd tell the wife how you feeling, , god bless and good luck mate ! O0
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
PISSIN" MYSELF!!
For CutmeMick.. Next time father inlaw starst saying Bruce Lee is a real (never mind good or world class) Karate fighter. Just agree and say ya I know! All the movie star guys are the best!! I think Sylvester Stallone would have wiped Tyson's a**!!! Did you see how he beat the sh1t out of Clubber Lang!!!! Bruce Lee was an ACTOR... and not a very good one at that! Buy him the $3 one gallon jug of "Hi-Karate" aftershave and tell him to F#CK OFF!!
For DaxxKhan- I always thought your name was some kind of take off on The Klu Klux Klan kkk xxx or something!! Now I find out your "ethnic" does that mean black? Im from Canada and your welcome to stay here with us and drink our great Canadian beer!
Or Vodka! (My fave is Vodka and Coke with Lime!! MMMMMMM!!!)
You have a Gym? you can teach my 3 kids to box while your here!
You have to promise not to stare at my wifes huge tits!
You might have a hard time getting to Victoria BC Canada. We dont have any black ( I sure hope im using the right wordology for this... is African American better?? what if he;s is britain?? African British??)immigrants here,all chinese,east-indian or mix of JAR heads,Krauts and Irish Drunks like me. We Canadians out west have no idea and and as a population try sooo hard to embrace the F****** rainbow whateverthat S*** means!
Anyway...It's not too cold here on the west coast just rainy. You can come to my kids hockey games and join me as we scream at the ref watch my kids cripple some other guys son (My 11 year old is 235 lbs!)and then get into fights in the parking lot with other hockey dad's and beat the S*** out of each other then all go for beers! Sound like fun??
F#ck ...now i'm depressed!! Hey wheres my Vodka!!??
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
My God! at a moment I feel I'm a lucky person
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by landmine950
PISSIN" MYSELF!!
For CutmeMick.. Next time father inlaw starst saying Bruce Lee is a real (never mind good or world class) Karate fighter. Just agree and say ya I know! All the movie star guys are the best!! I think Sylvester Stallone would have wiped Tyson's a**!!! Did you see how he beat the sh1t out of Clubber Lang!!!! Bruce Lee was an ACTOR... and not a very good one at that! Buy him the $3 one gallon jug of "Hi-Karate" aftershave and tell him to F#CK OFF!!
For DaxxKhan- I always thought your name was some kind of take off on The Klu Klux Klan kkk xxx or something!! Now I find out your "ethnic" does that mean black? Im from Canada and your welcome to stay here with us and drink our great Canadian beer!
Or Vodka! (My fave is Vodka and Coke with Lime!! MMMMMMM!!!)
You have a Gym? you can teach my 3 kids to box while your here!
You have to promise not to stare at my wifes huge tits!
You might have a hard time getting to Victoria BC Canada. We dont have any black ( I sure hope im using the right wordology for this... is African American better?? what if he;s is britain?? African British??)immigrants here,all chinese,east-indian or mix of JAR heads,Krauts and Irish Drunks like me. We Canadians out west have no idea and and as a population try sooo hard to embrace the F****** rainbow whateverthat S*** means!
Anyway...It's not too cold here on the west coast just rainy. You can come to my kids hockey games and join me as we scream at the ref watch my kids cripple some other guys son (My 11 year old is 235 lbs!)and then get into fights in the parking lot with other hockey dad's and beat the S*** out of each other then all go for beers! Sound like fun??
F#ck ...now i'm depressed!! Hey wheres my Vodka!!??
lol no I am actually Puerto Rican and Chinese......My fathr inlaw thinks anyone not white anglo saxton protestant is an ethnic background.....He is one of those all non WASP are drug dealers and if you wear hair gel your gay types......Had no idea Kahn was a name often heard amoung KKK members? ???...anyway Merry Christmas...
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CutMeMicK
May god have mercy on your soul. ;D
Not sure if my girl is gonna bring her parents over but the times I've met her dad have beeb something. Hes a member of the IKA (International Karate Assocation) hes been to 2 Olympics as a judge. He has a full storage room full of trophys and talks about how Bruce Lee is the best fighter ever to live. I been the idiot that I'am like to stir up some shet! and say that in a real fight Chuck Norris would have his ways with Bruce being that Chuck was physcally bigger then Bruce and that Chuck had the history behind him with trophys and honors to prove his greatness. This shit! pisses him off he starts rambling on of Bruces techniques and by the end of the night he and I are standing face to face as he demostrates moves and techniques and uses me as his dummy. Bastards actually hit me hard on a few occasions. >:mad . After the Bruce Lee talks comes the History lessons in Mexican Boxing he lectures me on how todays fighters are cowards and don't have the heart of warrior like they did back in the days.
All good fun and talk with him, I mean he knows everything and talks about anything...... He has an endless library of knowledge..
you know who was a real bad ass ,, Steven Seagal,, back when he was in shape, that man would break bones ! He plays a mean Blues guitar also, I think he has an album out, not bad at all !
[youtube=425,350]Qd1_ok9zh3I[/youtube]
[youtube=425,350]y5dDwzwb3-8[/youtube]
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lords Gym
Quote:
Originally Posted by CutMeMicK
May god have mercy on your soul. ;D
Not sure if my girl is gonna bring her parents over but the times I've met her dad have beeb something. Hes a member of the IKA (International Karate Assocation) hes been to 2 Olympics as a judge. He has a full storage room full of trophys and talks about how Bruce Lee is the best fighter ever to live. I been the idiot that I'am like to stir up some shet! and say that in a real fight Chuck Norris would have his ways with Bruce being that Chuck was physcally bigger then Bruce and that Chuck had the history behind him with trophys and honors to prove his greatness. This shit! pisses him off he starts rambling on of Bruces techniques and by the end of the night he and I are standing face to face as he demostrates moves and techniques and uses me as his dummy. Bastards actually hit me hard on a few occasions. >:mad . After the Bruce Lee talks comes the History lessons in Mexican Boxing he lectures me on how todays fighters are cowards and don't have the heart of warrior like they did back in the days.
All good fun and talk with him, I mean he knows everything and talks about anything...... He has an endless library of knowledge..
you know who was a real bad ass ,, Steven Seagal,, back when he was in shape, that man would break bones ! He plays a mean Blues guitar also, I think he has an album out, not bad at all !
[youtube=425,350]Qd1_ok9zh3I[/youtube]
Had that talk to according to him Bruce was too fast for Steven plus he states that Steven was more of showmen type of a fighter and that the arm chop a.k.a. 'clothes line' was about the best thing he did. ;D
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Segal is gay!
Aikido is gay!
How many Aikido guys in the UFC or PRIDE? uh none.
Thats just 2 gay guys dancing around in two-tone Chinese pyjamas!
I guess i thoughy maybe the khan thing was sorta like a take off on the Klan? LMAO!! I dunno!?! Anyway if your 1/2 Puerto-Rican (I don't even know where that is,isn't it part of the US like Cuba or something used to be) and 1/2 Chinese when you come you can make us a chicken fried rice Tacos and we'll wear hair gel and watch gay porn while we snort up your coke profits. Then we'll wear touques drink labatt's blue beer, eat backbacon in my Igloo while we watch hockey night in Canada on the TV. Afterward you can curl up next to my Sled dog.
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by landmine950
Segal is gay!
Aikido is gay!
How many Aikido guys in the UFC or PRIDE? uh none.
Thats just 2 gay guys dancing around in two-tone Chinese pyjamas!
I guess i thoughy maybe the khan thing was sorta like a take off on the Klan? LMAO!! I dunno!?! Anyway if your 1/2 Puerto-Rican (I don't even know where that is,isn't it part of the US like Cuba or something used to be) and 1/2 Chinese when you come you can make us a chicken fried rice Tacos and we'll wear hair gel and watch gay porn while we snort up your coke profits
Pride is gay ! or as its known on the streets " Gay Pride" ;) LMFAO ! O0
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaxxKahn
LOL thanks for all the support CC all around...Hey Wacko I think if I followed your advice it would only fuel my racist Father in law with a bunch of I TOLD YOU SO's....Though it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces... :o :o
Racist father in law?
Okay...not to put a color on things or nationality blitz on you...but what color are you & what color is he? Is he by chance from the deep south...or...just what's the what here?
I wanna advize you here...seriously...I have massive issues with my wife's side of the family & the thing is...her pop is a bit of a racist & has also pulled the "biblical dick" out on me several times.
I got plenty of ways to shut down that type of issue. ;D
Re: SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE ME OVER FOR X-MAS!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL PAY MONEY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by wacko3205
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaxxKahn
LOL thanks for all the support CC all around...Hey Wacko I think if I followed your advice it would only fuel my racist Father in law with a bunch of I TOLD YOU SO's....Though it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces... :o :o
& has also pulled the
"biblical dick" out on me several times.
Does that mean he puts a crown with spikes on it then slaps you with it.... :-X
*Please note whatever WackOff3205 replies to this is out of anger.
