Exactly how pissed have you been?

I'm a big mean bastard an i don't like to admit that there have been a few times when I was all jagged up I beat a guy or two maybe worse than he deserved.
Bouncing in Edmonton one night ( I was 6'4" and about 275)
I was in the middle of a melee and a guy bit off the top of my ear.
(I'll send pics) i didn't even feel it, I actually didn't notice!
My buddy said "fuck man your bleeding" I looked down and my ear was pouyring blood down onto my shoulder and shirt. Then he(or someone else) said "that guy just bit your ear" the guy right next to me (decent size maybe 6'2" 200lbs) had bit me!
I grabbed him and got him on the ground.
I was determined to punch every fucking tooth out of his fucking mouth!
the first 4 or so were easy!
i got maybe 6 or 8 teeth I forget
He was out cold after 2 or so punches
I fucking smashed him till my hands hurt then elbowed him in the face like 30 times those back teeth are really fucking held in there!
I smashed him tilll i was exhausted. so tired i actually couldn't stand up. I was so done i almost puked. I scared myself. I could easily have killed him.
I still have the piece missing out of the top of my ear obviously
If you care I'll get to take a pick and load it and all that shit so you can see. It was maybe 15 years ago.

While I was in Bosnia with the Britsh army over christmas time we had a fancy dress party with a Roman theme to it.


I decided to dress up as Jesus as the Romans were the one who nailed him to the cross.So I nailed to big bits of timber together to make a cross and atached them to my back with a belt.

Now all I had on was this cross and my boxer shorts.As the night went on we go drunk as drunk could be in true British army style.

At some stage of the night I must have gone outside and colapsed in the snow.

Lucky for me an Irish bloke named Paddy Wharing (all Irish peoples first name is paddy in the british army)found me and got me off to bed,if not I probolly would have frozen to death.

my maddest night out musta been on my hols 2 years ago with the girlys!

we went to this bar called chaplins (fuckin wicked bar!) and started off with the sambuca shots and tequila (never again) to cut a long story short


as the night wore on i was losing control of my body and my speech had deteriorated as did all my mates i ended up with a lip stick smiley face on my arse, my mate lost her shoes and bra!?? my other mate jo woke up wearin some random blokes stripey boxers.


we got kicked out of a bar called the surf shack, i think because apparently i was in the gents tryin to stand at the urinals havin a piss like a geeza!? (i dont believe that tho, think my mates were lyin the next day)

started fuckin about in dis big water fountain, until the police came, hitched a ride with them to our hotel!!


then managed to get back to the hotel.. all jumped in the pull butt naked! (mate has pic's too prove it!!! :o )



den all slept on our balcony dunno why!?




woke up next day all bein sick most of the day, no better way to cure it than a fry up

what about the time you shagged some guy in a skip :-X

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SalTheButcher

one time i simultaneousley lost conciousness and vomited, i remember starting to fall over and starting to vomit as i started to fall, and i blacked out as i landed, then i woke up about 6 hours later and vomited for then next 12 hours

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I passed out on the toilet...woke up 4 1/2 hours later....couldn't walk!!!!! I had to crawl to the couch....felt like I was paralyzed!!!! No nookie for me that night...:) That is the only story I'm giving up....:)

at the footy club i play for each week we get silly £1 fines for dodgy pass, staling ur car, worst haircut, biggest cock etc

anyway possible to raise the kitty

at the end of season awards its massive amounts in there.

we get 5 captains to draw names out the trophy, there his drinking team, so watever the captain drinks, he orderd 5 so the rest of his team ave em, its good cos we get some weird drinks that we never ave!

anyways i got drawn to the hardest drinkers team, the captain would sink 4 or 5 pints before a game no problem in an hour.

seen him drink like 18 pints 1 night and not even stagger

anyways i was fucked, puked up my whole roast dinner in the bogs of a weatherspoons, felt good after that and carried on more, loads of chewing gum though, i drank, whisky, vodka, gin, red wine it was horrid but there was a few others in the team struggling 2.

went on to the nightclub in out town and it all kicked off in the queue, loads of guys dressed as fairies starting gobbing off, most of guys are doormen at the place anyways so they all pilled in, the doorstaff on duty ran out and was like alright lads. i was punching this lad dressed as peter pan (hope it wasnt a bird in green tights ??? )

we got in after, cracking night, dont remember much


woke up with a jeremy clarkson video and a road sign in the kitchen


happy days ;D

a couple years ago i drank somewhere in between 25-30 beers (the last 12 or so chugged two at a time) in 4 1/2 hours started puking drank 4 more blacked out and crashed into a door frame (i guess i was out for 10 minutes) woke up with atleast a mild concussion walked my way out to the back porch and passed out. Woke up very early the next day covered in yellow bile.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Punisher136

a couple years ago i drank somewhere in between 25-30 beers (the last 12 or so chugged two at a time) in 4 1/2 hours started puking drank 4 more blacked out and crashed into a door frame (i guess i was out for 10 minutes) woke up with atleast a mild concussion walked my way out to the back porch and passed out. Woke up very early the next day covered in yellow bile.

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About 10 years ago I headbutted a mirror coz I thought some bloke was eyeballing me ;D


...sadly this is true ;)

i think i also talked some people in to throwing beer bottles at my forehead. Good thing i dont cut easily :)

Worst time was on my stag night i woke up in a police cell in a womans corset and honestly had no idea how i fucking got there. Apparently (and i remember bits of it now) I started pissing in someones potted plants in a garden, the fella came out with some other bloke and a scrap ensued between me and them with my mates trying to calm it down. The police were called and I was done for drunken disorderly.

Been loads of other times but that one was the most scarey as i had no fucking idea how i got in the police cell. It was the worst episode of memory loss ive ever had.