Shannon Matthews rescued!

Alan Carr has apologised for his Karen Matthews gag after he was slated by the press.

The silly cunt should have posted it here where it would have been appreciated.

Pete Doherty has asked for the biggest, cheapest, dirtiest piece of crack to be delivered to his cell... The wardens brought Karen Matthews to him.

Karen Matthew’s has publicly admitted to being afraid of being raped in prison. Let me reassure you love, unless they are sticking you in a prison for the fucking mentally ill, you’ve nowt to worry about.

The police who interviewed Karen Matthews spoke today.

They said they wanted to rough her up a bit but nature beat them to it.

What do Kermit the Frog and Craig Meehan have in common?

They both enjoy fucking pigs.

What has Karen Matthews got in common with Holland ?

She'll soon be surrounded by dykes too.

Shannon Matthew's Step-Dad has recently suffered an even more humiliating fate than being arrested for Child Porn. Being dumped by Karen Matthews.

The police interviewing of Karen Matthews: the only time you hope that a police investigation will end with a cover up.

So we have had an Austrian in the cellar, Shannon Matthews under the bed and now a nurse in the boot.

If we find Maddie in the attic, I'm going to patent the board game.

Shannon Matthews' stepdad.

Should have gone to Specsavers.

It was revealed in court today how Mick Donovan managed to take Shannon Matthews out on shopping trips into Dewsbury, despite the fact that there were hundreds of police looking for her.

Quite simply, to blend in with every other female in town.....she wore a burkha.

I see that Craig Meehan has been sent to prison for downloading child pornography.

Well I guess thats what you have to resort to when your own daughter is just too ugly to abuse.

Shannon Matthews, a face only an uncle could love!!!!

Shannon Matthews family are delighted to have her back. And promised to buy her a canoe for Easter.

Who is Shannon Matthews?