What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says:
"You're next, fatty." ;D
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What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says:
"You're next, fatty." ;D
:lol::appl::lol::appl::lol::appl::lol:.......Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
2 litres of low fat milk
a dozen eggs
2 litres of orange juice
a head of lettuce
half a dozen tomatoes
a 500g jar of coffee[/font]
a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in Front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated," You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the drung's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're a f #**in ugly bitch" ;)
Where do Women Have more Curly Hair
Where do Women Have most Curly Hair
Africa
I was out last night, looking at the stars, and spotted a Dalmation.
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."
A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13.......13.......13.........13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned '14.........14.........14.......14.'
Bump for Memphis. :)
The Beckham tactics one is brilliant ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
Whats the difference between a Gene & a Hormone?
YOU CAN'T HEAR A GENE...
Two girls who work the checkout at the supermarket , one says to the other
" you know u can tell alot about people from what is in their trolly"
the other girl says "well give me an example"
So the first says - " the guy over at checkout number 5 is a single guy "
"Prove it " says the second girl"
so the first girl goes to the checkout and look in the guys trolly.
one egg / one slice of bacon / one cake / one block of cheese / one apple /one banana.
She says to the guy - " your single arent you "
He replies - " how did you know is it because of my trolly content "
She replies " NO ITS BECAUSE YOUR A RIGHT UGLY CUNT "