http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh_kTKVXuoE
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It's been one of them should I laugh or cry days,! the mother in law just drove my
brand new car over a cliff.;D
In work on my lunch I feel asleep, when I woke up someone had put a teabag
in my mouth,! I was pissed off I'm no MUG.;D
The rich tourist stepped in at a hotel in a small village in the country. He adds 100 dollar at reception and go to take a look at the rooms.
Hotel Director will immediately take the 100 note and go to the butcher to pay his debt there.
The butcher, in turn, takes the 100 dollar and keys, off to the farmer to make themselves debt free.
The farmer takes the tractor off to the gas station and pay for the fuel he bought on credit.
Gas station owner goes to local whore and finally gives her the the hundred dollar he owed for the last visit.
then the whore goes to the hotel to pay the debt for the room she rented.
The hotel manager immediately put back teh 100 note on the disk.
The rich tourist comes back and takes the 100 dollar note - the room did not seem to taste.
No one has earned or lost a penny, but the whole village is free of debt and looking to the future with confidence
Merry fucking christmas
What do you call a sleep walking nun?
Aroamin Catholic.
Paddy da farmer goes to a therapist about his wifes lack of interest in him and was later caught driving naked over the hills towards his home on top of his Massey Fergerson.
He told police he had marital problems and was advised to do something sexy to a tractor.
A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.
The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes,Preacher. I sure am."
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not Reverend."
The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... ..."Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.
"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."
"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.
The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"
"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."
Olof 9 years old wrote a letter to God and asked for 1000 SEK. The letter was addressed to "God, Stockholm", the Post sent it to the government. They had fun at the letter and decided to send money. but they thought SEK 1000 was too much, so they sent 100 SEK. Olof 9 years old cheered, and wrote a letter to thank god,
"Dear God, thank you so much for the money. I see you sent them via the government, and those idiots took 90 percent in taxes!
When you have sex with your girlfriend doggie-style so lean forward, cupping her hands around her breasts and says, "They almost feel the same as your sister."
That is called 'The bucking bronco'Quote:
Originally Posted by Xwetie
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "its 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too.”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" was the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing” replied the drunk. ;D
I tell it but no one beats the master.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY7KqOJ9V8c
Michael Barrymore was said to be delighted when Tom Daly came out.
At last a gay guy that can swim..
When a women gets a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun, But when a guy orders a 240 volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticised anus with non drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he's called a pervert?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xwetie
How do you know all the ins and outs of the fuckmaster pro 5000? :D