You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
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You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
#1. your grand-kids drive you crazy
#2. you notice your genitals seem somewhat smaller
#3. you're missing some of your teeth and hair
#4. you've got a lot more money invested and in the bank
#5. Women seem more relaxed around you, because they aren't worried about you trying to jump their bones or you remind them of their grandfather. ;)
When your casual calm cool collected Lt blond hairs turn into wild, eratic crazy white hairs......on your ballz:-X
It'll happen....just wait!!!
you begin to hate everything.
You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
1. when you cant trust your fart anymore.
2. when every hard on becomes unforgettable
When your wife says "lets go upstairs and make love"
you reply "I can't do both"
When you rant at young people as "it was different in your time".
When you realize it's wrong to stare at your neighbor's daughter's tits.
When you start to think about your retirement funds and investment for the older days.
When it takes a whole week-end to recover from a hangover.
I'm there brother!Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
ohh ohh! Do you consider beige pants as an option? are you thinking more and more about your retirement founds? If not, you still have a bit of time in front of you;)Quote:
Originally Posted by FTMattyI'm there brother!Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions,which never happen.
Or, you buy a six pack of beer and 2 months later most of it is still in the refrigerator.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
Mr. Happy isn't quite as cooperative as he once was, especially sometimes when you need him the most.
Ax + wood.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mars_ax
Giant wood
9 pages and we have had many names for it but that is a first time calling it Mr Happy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mars_ax
What used to take a stiff breeze or a fleeting thought now takes effort..............
When you start getting called uncle from kids you thought were slightly younger than you.
When u moan that taxes are too high!
When u rant about fuel prices and the cost of choc bars and Nike trainers even when u didn't mind paying £100 for them in 98 - 2000
Dimentia Test.....
Your Yearly Dementia Test It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert.
If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: "bread.
" If you said "toast, " give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 2. Say "silk" five times. ?Now spell "silk.
" What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk, " don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "**ter", proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks, " why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said "glass, " go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is ?flying at 20, 000 feet over Germany If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"? Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.
If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on, In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!! have a nice day !
HAHAHA! Holy fuck, that made me laugh hard! That's so tragically funny!Quote:
Originally Posted by FTMatty
When you are old enough to know better but still young enough to do it all over again.
When Friday Night presents an early night AND a lie in.
When you start to feel old sports injuries you had many years ago such as a bad ankle, sore knee and bad back.
I hate getting old, this year has been the worst year of my life in terms of health and wellbeing. Whoever said life begins at 40 is a liar and needs shooting.
Teeth wobbling and in danger of falling out
Stopped football finally last week as knees cannot take the impact of twisting and turning.
Sex is only on special occasions.
:mad:
When you've gone from looking at the Wild cats, to the cougar to the Sabertooth tigress in what seems like a flash...and you haven't worked a day in your life at a Zoo :-X
When the cashier tells you I have no idea when it processes I've never used a paper check in my life.
When you wanted cereal and it wasn't marketed like new video games.
To much porn action. ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
To answer the OP of this thread, I think Larry Holmes was 3rd best heavyweight of all time.
When you keep going back to this thread because you are curious to know what other people says about your age.
Behind who?Quote:
Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust
Maybe it is because of the porno moves I am learning and trying that I am only getting it occasionally.Quote:
Originally Posted by GhostTo much porn action. ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
brocktonblockbust has finally lost it and got old. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by El KabongBehind who?Quote:
Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust
Quote:
Originally Posted by masterbrocktonblockbust has finally lost it and got old. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by el kabongbehind who?Quote:
Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust
yes master has understood my post.;)
what day is it :confused::lolhaha:
Monday, now back to work. :oQuote:
Originally Posted by Dia bando
Ring the cinema to find out the times.
Go to travel agents to research a holiday
Record in VHS
Dial directory enquiries
Use public pay phones
Book tickets over the phone
Print photos
Put ad in shop window
Ring the speaking clock
Carry a portable CD player
Write letters by hand
Buy disposable cameras
Take change to pay phones
Make mix tapes
Pay bills at post office
Use an address book
Check map for car journey
Reverse charge in payphones
Visits a bank or building society
Buy TV listings
Own an encyclopaedia
Queue for car tax at the post office
Develop and send off photos
Read the yellow pages
Look up something in a dictionary
Remember phone numbers or have a phone book
Watch videos
Have pen friends
Use phone directory
Use pagers
Fax things
Buy cd’s or have cd collection
Pay by cheque
Make photo albums
Watch programmes at the time they are on
Dial 1471
Warm hot drinks on the stove
Try a lot of shoes in shops
Hand wash clothes
Advertise in trading papers
Send love letters
Hand write essays and school work
Buy flowers from florist
Work out how to spell something yourself
Keep a personal diary
Send postcards
Buy a newspaper
Hang washing out in winter
Keep printed bills or statements
Go to car boot sales.
My eyebrows are starting to grow long and turning grey. About a fifth of 'em are already grey and the longest one I pulled just recently was 1 and 3 quarters of an inch! no kiddin'.
In about ten years, I'll probably look like an old kung-fu master...
... and probably a bald one, though.;D:)
On a similar not my nose hair is growing out of control.
...a kung-fu master with drooping nose hairs...hmmm, let me see....Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
...naw, it ain't look right, get yourself a nice pair of twizzers, Master.
...don't forget some balms too...;)
you try to kneel down wherever and you bash your fuckıng shın lıke never beofre, mısjudgıng ımpacts and angles and space by that lıttle smıdgeon whıch made the dıfference ın the ınjury but dıdnt used to happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by pacfan...a kung-fu master with drooping nose hairs...hmmm, let me see....Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
...naw, it ain't look right, get yourself a nice pair of twizzers, Master.
...don't forget some balms too...;)