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Woke liberal or racist 1%er? YOU BE THE JUDGE ;D
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This made me chuckle a bit
Terry Gilliam responds to claims Monty Python was too white: "I do not want to be white man anymore. I do not want to be blamed for everything wrong in the world. I now tell the world that I am a black lesbian."
Still got it :thumb:
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It's ok, they're only a ....little racist :spit:
I was a happy man. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and we had decided to get married. The planning went wonderfully. Both sets of parents helped us in every way. My friends were all happy for me and my girlfriend - she was a dream! There was only one thing deeply bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was vivacious, only twenty years old and drop-dead gorgeous. One day, the sister-in-law to be, called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that it was not long to the wedding day, that she had strong desires for me that she couldn't and didn't really want to overcome! She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to, just come up and get me." I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her wiggle her way up the stairs. I stood there for a moment then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and walked straight towards my car. Standing on the front path was my future father-in-law. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "Well done! Wonderful! We're so happy that you have passed our little test of temptation. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!" The moral of this story is.. Always keep your condoms in the car.
:lolhaha: Coffee through the nose, thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp3UwtgTZ60
....my sides :cwm27::bow:
@Beanz now I know we have our differences but I saw and heard this and thought it was tremendously funny and lighthearted and I thought you might actually appreciate it as well....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BDgQMGs7Mc
Ha! It's an uncanny impression. The Youtube comments are not quite as funny as many but "Also, Onion Rings are Marxist" made me laugh ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by El Kabong
Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees
http://2w6kxc22rrr9mabqt1mglgait6.wp...ptop-small.jpg The University of Basingstoke has confirmed that the less often students turned up for classes on its new Homeopathy degree course, the higher the mark they got.
The finding comes following a research study which tracked the attendance of students who attended fewer and fewer lectures and seminars over the course of the year.
Course leader Jennie Robson said, “We first became aware of the phenomenon when we realised that we hadn’t actually seen the top scoring students in the summer term dissertation since Christmas.
“Although we’d hoped that our intensive, continuous teaching methods were the best way to progress on the course, it appears that less face-to-face contact may, in fact, be the secret to effective study on this course.
“The guy who got the best mark of all students who graduated didn’t attend a single lecture, as far as we can tell he merely walked passed a classroom during a briefing on the principles of homeopathic dilution. ;D
“And his success certainly came as a surprise to the homeopathy lecturers here, I can tell you.”
Tom Gilbert, one of the absentee students who did unexpectedly well, told us, “The lectures were so dull that after a few weeks myself and few mates decided to hang out in the pub instead of going into Uni.
“We then found out that you can actually pay someone to write your dissertation, so we just buggered off to Bali, logged into our emails once a week and used our student loans to buy exotic drinks.”
http://newsthump.com/2018/09/18/stud...ull-attenders/
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
P: I have a chick N obsession
S:. You see a chick N you lick her
Going to assume he likes being called 'The Vault dweller'. On a random note that game is extremely addicting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
LOL!
and she looks so much like your "girl next door" type
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zM8wI-w0K8
Oh that....THAT is good quality comedy...hits everyone and is honest and hilarious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha
:lolhaha: :lolololol: :rofmaoal: