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Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
When does a sandwich cook?
When it's bakin' lettuce & tomato.
Did you hear about the female rapper that only performed when she was on her menstrual cycle?
They said she had a mean flow.
I am a serial liar.
No I am not.
:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by El Kabong
I'm getting ready to be in law school (hopefully) ...yes this is quite funnyQuote:
Originally Posted by boozeboxer
I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.
Trump is nothing like Hitler. There is no way he could write a book.
I have given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?
I am looking for the girl next door type. I am just going to keep moving house until I find her.
I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it 'brella' but just hesitated.
Combine Harvesters, and you get a really big restaurant.
I am rubbish with names. It is not my fault, it is a condition. There is a name for it....
I have 2 boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house.
I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died...which is a good thing because he trod on a land mine.
Whenever someone says "I do not believe in coincidences", I say "Oh my god, me neither!"
come on @Master credit where its due
Master the joke thief, literally copy and pastes the jokes and removes the names
I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change. - Ken Cheng
Trump is nothing like Hitler. There is no way he could write a book. - Frankie Boyle
I have given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point? - Alexei Sayle
I am looking for the girl next door type. I am just going to keep moving house until I find her. - Lew Fitz
I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it 'brella' but just hesitated. - Andy Field
Combine Harvesters, and you get a really big restaurant. - Mark Simmons
I am rubbish with names. It is not my fault, it is a condition. There is a name for it.... - Jimeoin
I have 2 boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house. - Ed Byrne
I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died...which is a good thing because he trod on a land mine. - Olaf Falafel
Whenever someone says "I do not believe in coincidences", I say "Oh my god, me neither!" - Alasdair Beckett-King
I sold them these jokes so that they could take the limelight away from me. :)
nice sharingggg
First they came for the mimes, and I said nothing because I am committed to the craft
My favourite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
A man walked into a pet shop.
I'll have a tropical fish please.
Do you want an aquarium?
I dont give a fuck what star sign it is mate.
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How do you treat someone thats become addicted to counselling?
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MY girlfriend left me because of my impotence. There were no hard feelings.
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My girlfriend said I've been taking my detective work home with me too much. She thinks we should split up. Great idea I said, we can cover more ground that way.
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I feel sorry for midget parents. No matter how hard they work, they still struggle to put food on the table.
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I phoned the local gymnastics centre and asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. They said how flexible are you? I said I cant do Tuesdays or Thursdays.
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I was reading a book the other day. The history of glue. I couldnt put it down.
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I saw a man playing dancing queen on a didgeridoo. I thought that's Aboriginal.
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It's West Indian hair day at work next week. Im dreading it to be honest.