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Since my fight fell through I decided to get a good cardio workout in this morning.
10 mins warm up on treadmill
15 abs class
45 minutes spinning class
45 minutes yoga class
10 minute jog on the threadmill
felt good. Now I can relax. I think I'll spend the afternoon watching Duran fights. :newdb:
BAH! I'm having a boxing meltdown!
So on Sunday I pretty much decided that I am done boxing. I told my coach that I would not be available for our next show (jan 17th) and booked a trip to go visit a friend. Then I proceeded to go eat a ton of nachos to celebrate. :p yum I was bummed all day and that evening but I had pretty much made up my mind that I'm done.
I described it to a friend today. Me and boxing...it's like a bad relationship. I give it 110% everyday and I REALLY want it to work, but it's just not. And I got to the point yesterday where I had come to terms with letting it go. I'm one of those people that is all or nothing. When I wanted to play drums I didn't just get a set and tinker with it. I went out, got a set, learned how and was in a band within a year. So boxing is the same....only X10. I've never loved doing something so much before. I liked drums, I liked swim team, I liked college....but I LOVE boxing. So when I'm giving so much and setting my goals so high, it's extremely frustrating when I can't get there because of the lack of resources available.
So I decided that once again it was all or nothing.
So from the moment I made the decision and decided that I was OK with it. Every person I ran into...."Hey, how was your last fight?" "Hey, this is my friend Amy, she's a boxer..." "When's your next bout, how's boxing going?" I kid you not, at least 10 people brought it up! :mad:
Then my coach comes in to my work this morning and asks if I want to fight on the 3rd of January. WTF?! Erg. So now I have to reevaluate my decision or straight up say no. I hadn't said anything to my coach yet. (I was going to be a pussy and just not show up to training again) I didn't say anything because I know he'd try to talk me out of it. (or act like it didn't bother him, just to get at me)
I don't know what to do. I know I'm not going to be happy only getting a few bouts a year and letting it peeter out. But I'm not a quitter. So I'm stuck in a pickle. I'm sacrificing a lot to do this, I want to be able to get out of it what I put in. Otherwise it's a waste of time for me.
I'm not sure what to do.
This post was really long and obnoxious. :) Kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing.
Sometimes i think you're actually just regurgitating my experiences! ;D
Really i think part of ay situation is setting boundaries. I have had a terrible history of being able to do this and only now am I beginning to think about it.
At uni i did not set boundaries for what I would and would not accept and as a consequence a pattern i find hard to cope with developed basically with my supervisor treating my like child slave labour from a 3rd world country rather than an adult seeking a quality postgraduate education.
I wish i'd set boundaries from the beginning and if he didn't like them it would have been obvious soon enough for me to drop him as supervisor and get someone with a brain instead.
The same goes for training i think.
I didn't set boundaries. i just gratefully took what i could get and after a while people tend to expect that it's ok.
Your coach thinks it's ok to send you into compete without proper preparation and it has been on several occasions i guess.
You've gone in and survived and probably felt a little discontent but just expected him to get his act together in his own time, you didn't want to be assertive about it.
Thing is now you know you don't want to compete in january. You don't have to re-evaluate anything, just stick to what you've decided.
Ultimately most coaches have been fighters and they know what they needed as far as sparring etc goes.
It's not your role to have to tell them how to coach especially since you have hinted at needing sparring. I doubt most coaches would like to be told either.
Perhaps it would be more mature to tell them everything that's been on your mind but would they not have to be a bit blind with their own competitive experiences to not know anyway?
I spoke to a psychologist about my supervisor. Her take on it was that people generally have three choices in these situations. Live with it, change it or leave it.
Do you think from your position you can change it? Are you going to be happy living with it? I'm guessing the answer to both of those is probably no. In which case leaving it is ok.
Perhaps you may decide not to leave permanently. In many ways you might find that you can draw on what you have gained in future in another club or another sport. I don't think you need to see it as wasted time.
I'd say no to the bout and give yourself the Christmas season to decide what path you wanna take.
I think like you i'm happiest being competitive but only if i can do it well. I feel crap not doing something well or as much as I can - just as you do.
I hate not sticking to training programs, i hate doing substandard experiments because my supervisor is threatened by me coming up with my own ideas.
I find it difficult to describe but I guess most people would have to feel some pride in what they do and i think if you are not able to do things the best way for no good reason it's a direct self insult in some way.
Um gotta go but while i really feel like i've just blabbed a lot rather than adding anything of any real help I get where your coming from.
I guess my own advice would be to be assertive, set some rules and boundaries and don't be taken for granted - in whatever you choose to do.
If you're not a quitter, and you truly do love it..then why quit? Look at it like a relationship that just went through a bad year. Relationship being your analogy for it. From what I hear, they often take some work and compromise. Now your partner here, boxing...hasn't really been living up to it's end of the deal, and not meeting your boxing needs, correct? But has it not also given you much?
I could be wrong, but I think you are making this post because you might be experiencing a knee jerk reaction and fearing you're going to regret it. If you still feel there is a chance, and as you say, do love it...then maybe try setting some guidelines and a target date. Like this...
"Hey boxing, this is the deal. Not happy with the way things are, but I care about you and want them better. So if you want to stick around, you have 1 year to get your shit together and start treating me right. Or we are parting ways..."
Thanks guys. Youngblood, your post made me chuckle. Good stuff. I'm going to give it some thought, and make a decision. My coach is a good guy, just clueless. He's never had anyone be so serious about it before, so he doesn't have a lot of experience taking boxers beyond 5 or 6 bouts.
haha I'm sorry. I know girls think and see things differently then guys. I went straight to my 3 times of viewing Dr. Phil on that post. :p
It was good advice though. ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Youngblood
It is always good to get another opinion Youngblood :)
yeah I don't want to telegraph my experiences onto you so i'm sorry if i'm doing that.
I don't want to insinuate that you should quit but i do think you shouldn'y be a doormat in your bad relationship either.
I think that was the mistake i made and i think you can do better. :)
I'm glad you're here to give me advice. Women's boxing is a lot tougher row to hoe sometimes and you understand that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharla
You're right that I need to be more vocal about what I need. My coach and I are meeting to workout tomorrow night, just us two so I'll have a chat with him then.
12-18-08
Shadowbox
Mitts
3x 6 min rounds of sparring
run 4 miles
3x6 min rounds of sparring
Um the talk? How'd it go?
Crap, busted. I was too scared to bring it up. :-\ We're working out again tomorrow. I'll address it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharla
Sharla! I totally forgot to mention it, seriously. Haha
Workout:
skip rope
shadowbox
5 x 3 min rounds of sparring
Yeah I think you'll get around to it when you're ready. I've been imagining what a difficult conversation it would be.
Not something you want to rush into without having planned what is most important to you to say that you think he can do something about.
Erg! It's been too cold here to do any conditioning outside and some dude at the gym keeps asking me out, so now I'm avoiding the gym downtown. :(
I'm meeting my coach tonight, so at least he'll be there as a buffer. Haha.
I'd like to get a really good workout in tonight and another tomorrow morning before all the holiday stuff.
Just tell him we are dating, and Ima kick his damn ass if he don't stop with the trying to mow my grass. You know what...just give me his number..I call him myself! lol
---
I'm still trying to gain weight back. So kinda looking forward to all the food starting tomorrow and going right thru until the New Year. Might even have a go at breaking a leg or 2 snowboarding as well!
So I take it you are giving boxing more time and consideration, eh? Atleast that is what I am getting from you. And I hope so. I think it would be a shame for you to quit now, and that you'd regret it. So hey...good luck next year. In getting fights and all that jazz...ya know, kicking butt when they happen. ;)
I gave him your number, he should be calling you any day now. ;D
I didn't get my hard work out in that I had hoped. Oh well. I think that will just have to wait until Saturday.
Skipping and shadowboxing warm up
Mitts, about 4 x5min rounds
Bag drills 4 x3 min rounds
Sparring 4x 3min rounds
....then I literally forgot to run, I remember on the drive home. Oh well, I'll run in the morning.
Same deal different day....
Warm up s kipping and shadowboxing.
3 x 3 min rounds on the bag focusing on power
3 x 3 min rounds on the bag focusing on speed
5 x 3 min rounds sparring
4 miles on the treadmill doing tempo running and sprints.
2 hours of raquetball
5 x 3 min rounds on the bag
....probably go run later if I have time.
I driving over to the next town to do some sparring with the guys they have there today. It's and hour and a half drive each way, but it's worth it....at least I hope it is. :-\
Well, that didn't really have the effect I was hoping for.
I was hoping that getting some decent, competitive sparring would spark some motivation for me. Quite the opposite. It pretty much reaffirmed that I've really regressed. The frustrating part is that I can't get back in the gym and work on what's making me worse, because my work in the gym is making me worse.
There are no competitions on the horizon either. So I don't really see the point.
I'm drafting an email to my coach right now telling him I'm quitting. He's not going to take it well. I've the longest member of the club and we're very close, my folks and I even spent Christmas at his house. He's going to take it personal, unfortunately.
If he hasn't seen your frustration he's blind so I doubt it will come as a suprise.
So you know it's a sign of how things are going and not just a bad day or feeling run down?
I know off days happen but i guess if it's clear you are not getting any improvement for your efforts then it's hard to stay motivated!
Sorry to hear things haven't gone well! :(
Maybe think of it as quitting this situation but not everything you love about boxing.
Leave yourself open to continue training - perhaps boxing at another gym if you find yourself able to or in a similar sport.
It can be the end of this situation but it doesn't have to be the end of what boxing has meant to you.
Youngblood gave me these non wilting flowers as a symbol of hope so now I'm going to pass them onto you:
:flowers:
Also I think you should keep posting otherwise we'll miss ya! Of course that's an entirely selfish request and if you find it too depressing I guess I'd understand!
Thanks Sharla! Those flowers are wonderful. ;D
Erg, I'm very conflicted. Part of me wants to just suck it up and make the most of the few years I have left of this and part of me can't bear not being able to be the best.
If I could just show up to the gym a couple of days a week and train a little and fight a few times a year, I would. But I'm obsessive (you know how that is ;) ) and I want to be the best and fight the best. I'm an all or nothing kind of person. And so far it's been train like crazy, fight whoever is put in front of me and train some more. Maybe I just got burnt out, I don't know.
My coach didn't take it well. He just wrote me a nasty email back saying that he's taking it personally. Erg!
A friend of mine called last night and made a good case as to why I shouldn't quit. So it gave me some things to think about.
Either way, I'm still going to run as many races as I can this year so I'll be posting here.
:cool:
Gawdammit. :(
Move to Canada...I'll switch my queen size bed into a bunk bed (we gotta flip for top) and I'll spar you 8 times a week! You can teach me cool stuff like how to get and keep a job without telling the boss to go get stuffed, and until then we'll live off the food that mysteriously just shows up in my fridge...and if that isn't enough, my neighbors have a fridge in their garage and i'm pretty sure we could raid that too. I think they even keep a few beer in there.
I just don't want to see you have regret, sourpuss.
I'm a little bit frustrated too atm, having a lack of decent sparring partners, and am looking at setting up some private stuff after club hours with a member or 2 from another club as I have the keys for the gym and am just gonna do it...cuz I know it sux not having someone competitive to regularly learn from and seeing our club head honchos won't set it up, well hell. So basically I am going to do whatever the heck I can to get better with creative licence becuz I love this sport...and yea know...I think you do too.
I'll ofc understand if you do really decide not to keep fighting (eventually), but I refuse to let you go without a bit of a fight myself.
I'm looking forward to the ringside world tour this year or some other tours this year in the states. I'd sure like to see you there...all geared up and ready for battle. Just sayin'.
You guys are awesome.
So I've been thinking a lot about it all and I still don't know what to do. I had a long talk with Salsanchezfan and he may have convinced me to stick it out for a bit longer.
My coach had a potential fight in the works for Jan 24th. So I've decided to keep going to the gym until I know about that one for sure. Which means I'll be back there tomorrow when we start up again. :-\ We'll see how that goes. If it's more of the same, I can't imagine my enthusiasm enduring any more. We'll see. I'm trying to keep an open mind though...sort of.
So I will work my ass off, yet again, for the next 3 months and see what comes of it. I'm setting the date of first week in April to have gotten something out of it before I quit for good I think.
It sounds negative, I know.
Friday Jan 2, 2009
Run 4.2 miles
25 minutes of abs and shadowboxing (2 and 3 minute round intervals)
Sunday 3rd:
Run 3.8 miles with intervals on the treadmill.
Mon the 5th
1.5 hours of raquetball
10 minutes of tempo running on the treadmill
Stretching, abs and pushups.
Tues the 6th
10 mins warm up skipping
Sprints
8 x3min rounds on the bag alternating between power, speed and freestyle
8 x3min rounds of sparring with 3 different guys
Oh and I just signed up for a triathlon group personal training program that is going to be offered at the fitness club I go to. It sounds pretty good. I know the instructors and they are very good, so I'm looking forward to it. (I'm not looking forward to getting up at 5:30am twice a week for 8 weeks though)
It's going to be set up like this.
4 trainers/4 sessions with each
Running
Cycling
Swimming
Core/Q & A
and each session is 45 minutes long. I'd prefer an hour but I'm sure I'll get a ton out of it. Doesn't start until February 4th but that's fine.
Triathlons. Meh. I think there is something wrong with people who like those...bcuz they are kinda gruelling, no? lol I kid. Said from a forum where getting hit in the face is cool...
Seriously tho. I couldn't do that kind of stuff I don't think. I'm guessing it takes a certain personality type to want to push themselves that far. And don't think I have the type of patience for distance stuff, another thing you marathoners must possess.
What do you think makes you want to do it, sourpuss?
I think it is cool, actually...but am just too much of a wuss maybe to do that sorta training.
Man up YB!
I'm just doing the training for a cross-fitness thing. Just something different to not get bored.
Although, I am looking to do some longer trail races this summer. There are some pretty intense, long, high altitude ones here during the summer months that I think would be fun to at least attempt. We'll see, I may change my mind after doing one. hehe
Wed the 7th
One hour of conditioning:
Skipping, running laps, running the stairs, pushups, pullups and abs.
2 x 3min rounds of mitts
9 x 3min round of sparring
10 more minutes of ab exercises
Thursday the 8th
45 minutes of conditioning:
running with hand weights (boooo)
hand weight/speed exercises
pushups
1 hour of 3 minute rounds with 1 min rest
mitts and bag work
one mile tempo run on the treadmill
If you're looking for different workouts so you dont get bored, try RossTraining - Bridging The Gap Between Ordinary and Extraordinary. Theres tons of stuff there that is great for fighters and anyone looking to work on conditioning.
Thank you, I will. I haven't spent a lot of time looking around there but I've heard it's worth it.Quote:
Originally Posted by wesrman
Today, went snowboarding. ;D
Went snowboarding again today. I'll get back on the working out tomorrow.
Snowboarding is a good workout. Especially when you are forever picking yourself up too! I hit the mogel hill at full speed by accident not long ago haha. That was some fun. When all was said and done, was quite happy to only have the wind knocked out of me something severe and getting laughed at...as opposed to having a pine tree surgically removed from my ass.
Yay winter! :)
I don't fall anymore. ;)
Hey, nice to meet another female out there!! Stair running is tough i remember i went to a comp and we were all 2kg over the weight. We were staying in a 12 floor hotel. We run up and down those 12 floors with so many layers on us we cudnt breathe for about 30 mins solid lol. Needless to say we all made the weight!
Welcome to the forum.Quote:
Originally Posted by jellybean1986
I love the quote in your sig, Bruce Lee is the man. :)
Well, looks like I have a bout on the 14th of February.
Bless the gal, she's lost to me 3 times already and she's about 6 inches shorter than me. But I'm very happy to get back in the ring again. A bout is a bout so I'll take what I can get.