How many kids does it take....................

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Originally Posted by LuciferTheGreat

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Originally Posted by bilbo

Ok this is a sort of philosophical question that I saw on a website forum a couple of years ago. It generated loads of thought and humourous discussion so I thought I'd share it here.

Ok, here it is,

The Challenge

You are in a sports hall where you will be in a fight to the death involving you and an infinite number of 5 year old children.

The children have been trained, as best as kids can be, to take you down by swarming on you, and grappling and forcing you to the ground where they will then kick , punch and bite you to death.

You have to fend them off for as long as possible. You are all unarmed.

The question is how many kids could you kill before they overpowered you and what would your survival tactics be?

Now some of you may think you could never be killed by a bunch of 5 year olds, but remember they will keep coming indefinitely so eventually you will succumb, but after how long?

Whoever comes up with a higer score (more kills) than somebody else, has to justify it with a thourough analysis of why and how.



PS. This is pure speculation only and I in no way endorse beating up small children :P

Well perhaps just the really annoying ones

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I have to admit I thought I'd never see some kind of thread like this one, let alone 5 pages of responses. I am proven wrong.

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Wow my thread troubles even Satan himself! :cwm23:

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Originally Posted by X

I think if you survived the original onslaught, and managed to make some weapons (out of the dead children) and if you did manage to create some sort of defensive barricade comprised of dead children, and accepting that you could eat them and drink their blood to stay alive indefinitely - eventually, you could capture one child and retrain it.

If you kept doing this, assuming that you had truly made a safe barrier so that the bloodthirsty little f***** could not get you, you could eventually create your own army of 7 year olds, who you could then use to kidnap and retrain new 5 year olds.

Your invincible army of 7 year olds would each be bigger and older than the army of 5 year olds. IN theory, there would be an infinite number of both and they would mathematically (given enough time) be evenly matched.

The potentially fit (female?) ones that you have captured could be kept in captivity until they get hairy bits and used as sex slaves. When they get boring old used up, just toss them to the slavering pack of 5 year olds.

See, the power of positive thinking turns a potentially nasty situation into a good one?

8)

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Well done, X I think you win. I can picture you rebuilding the world similarly to the way they did in Shaun of the Dead. The 5 yr old mutants could grow into zombie like adults, devoid of all social skills, ambitions, hopes and dreams. They would as such make excellent factory workers, supermarket staff and fast food restuarant staff, although I'd watch what they put in your hot dogs ;)

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Originally Posted by X

I think if you survived the original onslaught, and managed to make some weapons (out of the dead children) and if you did manage to create some sort of defensive barricade comprised of dead children, and accepting that you could eat them and drink their blood to stay alive indefinitely - eventually, you could capture one child and retrain it.

If you kept doing this, assuming that you had truly made a safe barrier so that the bloodthirsty little f***** could not get you, you could eventually create your own army of 7 year olds, who you could then use to kidnap and retrain new 5 year olds.

Your invincible army of 7 year olds would each be bigger and older than the army of 5 year olds. IN theory, there would be an infinite number of both and they would mathematically (given enough time) be evenly matched.

The potentially fit (female?) ones that you have captured could be kept in captivity until they get hairy bits and used as sex slaves. When they get boring old used up, just toss them to the slavering pack of 5 year olds.

See, the power of positive thinking turns a potentially nasty situation into a good one?

8)

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That's a well thought out....morbid...and ultimatly disgusting.....it just might work......you sick ****!!! :)

HAAHAHAHAHAAH ;D ;D ;D ;D

Nice to see this post is still dragging on.

Lets get to 100 posts and make this the longest ever completely pointless thread on the forum guys.

Lets make it happen.

X IS STILL WINNING... DONT THINK ANYONE CAN TOP THAT SICK BAST**D ;D CC C

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Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

X IS STILL WINNING... DONT THINK ANYONE CAN TOP THAT SICK BAST**D ;D CC C

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I was thinking about trying to come up with an alternative to the "sex slaves" thing but I realized if I did it would be me burniing in hell next to Satan and not X....so I'll let X have the honors......:)

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Originally Posted by bigragu

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Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

X IS STILL WINNING... DONT THINK ANYONE CAN TOP THAT SICK BAST**D ;D CC C

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I was thinking about trying to come up with an alternative to the "sex slaves" thing but I realized if I did it would be me burniing in hell next to Satan and not X....so I'll let X have the honors......:)

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Don't worry we are talking mutilation not molestation, it's therefore perfectly acceptable ;D

You cant drink blood to survive though...HA!!!!! I got that Fuker X!!!!!..LOL!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by jtrock

You cant drink blood to survive though...HA!!!!! I got that Fuker X!!!!!..LOL!!!!!!

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I think you probably could, you never seen Ned Kelly where they kill and drink the blood of the horse to survive?

It would be ok, although I expect it would leave and nasty smelly aftertaste, and would stick to your lips a little bit like red wine.

You would need something to freshen the breath afterwards.

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Originally Posted by bilbo

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Originally Posted by bigragu

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Originally Posted by "PRIDE OF PROVIDENCE"

X IS STILL WINNING... DONT THINK ANYONE CAN TOP THAT SICK BAST**D ;D CC C

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I was thinking about trying to come up with an alternative to the "sex slaves" thing but I realized if I did it would be me burniing in hell next to Satan and not X....so I'll let X have the honors......:)

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Don't worry we are talking mutilation not molestation, it's therefore perfectly acceptable ;D

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Ohhh.......we then I would perform instant castrations to tone down the ferociousness in the boys and use the skin to slingshot the testicles at the girls in hopes of killing them from the impact.....

Man I hope LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS aren't monitoring this!!!!! :o LOL

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Originally Posted by jtrock

You cant drink blood to survive though...HA!!!!! I got that Fuker X!!!!!..LOL!!!!!!

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Ha ha, but no - East African Masai have a staple diet of congealed cow's blood (it turns into a horrible jelly like scabby substance). I used to live there and have seen them eat that shit, and they grow pretty damn big and strong on it.

I have thtought through my baby-killing plans very carefully, don't you worry about that! ;D

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Originally Posted by X

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Originally Posted by jtrock

You cant drink blood to survive though...HA!!!!! I got that Fuker X!!!!!..LOL!!!!!!

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Ha ha, but no - East African Masai have a staple diet of congealed cow's blood (it turns into a horrible jelly like scabby substance). I used to live there and have seen them eat that S***, and they grow pretty damn big and strong on it.

I have thtought through my baby-killing plans very carefully, don't you worry about that! ;D

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No wander they all have such skanky teeth!

I remember seeing the Masai on a Ray Mears bushcraft dvd. He portrayed them as this truly ancient tribespeople , living in house made of dried dung, hunting the traditional way with hand made bow and arrow and using their traditional tracking skills to catch their prey. He delighted in telling how nearly all of the women of the village had given birth inside a giant tree, where they stay for several days after the birth until the umbilical cord has disolved off.

The illusion was only shattered when I noticed that his Masai guide was wearing a rather expensive looking digital watch.

Personally I think their whole 'lifestyle' is a way of making fun of the tourists.

I reckon that just over the first hill is a nice commerical, broadband enabled little town where they all actually live, apart from when fools like Ray Mears or some western journalist announces they are coming for a visit.......

'Fraid not, mate. I lived there and Africa wasn't invented just to keep tourists happy.

:-\