Pre world cup joke

Raul, Ronaldo and Beckham were all at Real Madrid's canteen.

They were eating lunch and Raul said; "Tapas again! If I get Tapas one
more time for lunch I'm going to jump off the top off the stadium."

Ronaldo opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

Beckham opened his lunch and said, "Ham & Cheese again. If I get a Ham &
Cheese sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day Raul opened his lunch box, saw Tapas and jumped to his death.

Ronaldo opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

Beckham opened his lunch, saw the Ham & Cheese and jumped to his death as
well.

At the funeral Raul's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really
tired he was of Tapas I never would have given it to him again!"

Ronaldo's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the skinny arseless bint wearing oversized
sun glasses and trailer trash trucker baseball cap. "Hey, don't look at
me," said Posh, "David makes his own lunch."

heard that once to often but it still cracks me up ;D ;D

Yeah cause you know damn well anyone named "Posh" ain't doin a goddamn thing in the house.

But what will make me laugh the most is when England gets shut out by the US

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

But what will make me laugh the most is when England gets shut out by the US

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Like i've said before. Comedy genius

....the brits will be devistated!!! IF they make it past the first round

You will not get past the group stages. Of that i am 110% confident Lyle san.

when are you in the UK Lylo?

I was supposed to be over there this summer but I am not sure if that's happening...might wait til I graduate to stay for a couple months

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

Yeah cause you know damn well anyone named "Posh" ain't doin a goddamn thing in the house.

But what will make me laugh the most is when England gets shut out by the US

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Erm, you serious?

We're ranked higher, hell yeah we'll beat yall...under achievers!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

We're ranked higher, hell yeah we'll beat yall...under achievers!

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Lyle stick to stuff you actually know something about such as cheerleading and stay out of the footy threads please.

Leave the footy stuff to the Europeans and the south americans.

Thank you

I know about SOCCER...I could name loads of players on the England squad OTHER than David Beckham. I know the rules, and I got a good idea of who's going to win this summer and it ain't gonna be either the US or England.

you meen football? you know that game where you cannot use your hands and 90% of the contact with the player and ball occurs between the foot?

Or is it that game that was invented after Football and involves picking up the ball and running with it or throwing it 85% of the time and occasional kicking it?

Fuck that shit... 'soccer' and 'football'...

Its "football" and "American Football"

(the US couldn't beat a team of Amputees at 'soccer' ;) :P)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AdamGB

you meen football? you know that game where you cannot use your hands and 90% of the contact with the player and ball occurs between the foot?

Or is it that game that was invented after Football and involves picking up the ball and running with it or throwing it 85% of the time and occasional kicking it?

Fuck that shit... 'soccer' and 'football'...

Its "football" and "American Football"

(the US couldn't beat a team of Amputees at 'soccer' ;) :P)

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I think you need to give em more credit than that Adam, they got to the quarters last time, theyre better than they used to be.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

I know about SOCCER...I could name loads of players on the England squad OTHER than David Beckham. I know the rules, and I got a good idea of who's going to win this summer and it ain't gonna be either the US or England.

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BUT, Lyle, you are sounding stupid here. There is no way the US beat England. They are still a second tier team. England are second favourites behind Brazil without a doubt. England should beat anyone who gets in their way but Brazil (we're always much better in competition than friendlies). We'd also have a chance against Brazil (if someone kneecaps Ronaldinho, or else noone has a chance). Stop making ridiculous claims.....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AC-Cobra

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AdamGB

you meen football? you know that game where you cannot use your hands and 90% of the contact with the player and ball occurs between the foot?

Or is it that game that was invented after Football and involves picking up the ball and running with it or throwing it 85% of the time and occasional kicking it?

F*** that S***... 'soccer' and 'football'...

Its "football" and "American Football"

(the US couldn't beat a team of Amputees at 'soccer' ;) :P)

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I think you need to give em more credit than that Adam, they got to the quarters last time, theyre better than they used to be.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

I know about SOCCER...I could name loads of players on the England squad OTHER than David Beckham. I know the rules, and I got a good idea of who's going to win this summer and it ain't gonna be either the US or England.

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BUT, Lyle, you are sounding stupid here. There is no way the US beat England. They are still a second tier team. England are second favourites behind Brazil without a doubt. England should beat anyone who gets in their way but Brazil (we're always much better in competition than friendlies). We'd also have a chance against Brazil (if someone kneecaps Ronaldinho, or else noone has a chance). Stop making ridiculous claims.....

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Yeah Lyle...you twat ;D

England is an under achieving team...what have they done lately besides have one of their players outted as a queer of the highest variety.

US is gonna whip a lot of teams and if their able to get out of that killer group they are in they'll beat England pretty easy....you gotta agree on that

England have as much chance of winning the world cup as Ireland

Australia is going to win the world cup, we are the best team in the world! *




















































































*Oh come on people....you better know im bullshitting. I aint that patriotic to say australia can win the world cup ;D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

England is an under achieving team...what have they done lately besides have one of their players outted as a queer of the highest variety.

US is gonna whip a lot of teams and if their able to get out of that killer group they are in they'll beat England pretty easy....you gotta agree on that

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Ever get the feeling Lyle only says stupid shit to try and provoke us? :P
(if you are being serious I hope you eat that stupid hat of yours... :P;))

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Originally Posted by Munky

Everyone turned and stared at the skinny arseless bint wearing oversized
sun glasses and trailer trash trucker baseball cap.

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Sums her up exactly ;D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snakey

Australia is going to win the world cup, we are the best team in the world! *

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Ha, Australia has a tough time being the best team on their own continent

Well let's take a gander at who we have to play vs who yall have to play

USA
Italy
Ghana
Czech Republic

Everyone of those teams is tough, and the Czechs are #2 in the whole wide world.

England
Paraguay
Sweeden
Trinidad & Tobago

Wow, unlucky draw, Trinidad AND Tobago....damn guys, damn....too tough. If The US gets through it's draw then yall are in HELLA TROUBLE.

You have all the stars there is no doubt Owen, Rooney, Beckham, Gerrard, Cole, Lampard, etc. and yet the US is still gonna advance farther than your team. And we have to deal with everyone hating America, I mean jesus Europeans the players don't have anything to do with politics so shut it and watch the game.

Who's talking politics or where you just busy being victomised again Lyle?
Your team aren't good enough to beat us. End of.

I think its about time you put your money where your mouth is Lyle... Should an arse kicking (when) be delivered to your team by us or we get further than you, you loose your post count or or something... I dunno depends what its worth... ;)

It doesn't matter to me...posts are just a number....who cares about them?

Sure Adam, I'm game...I mean all your team has to do is finish second to Sweeden (the only real team in your group) and you advance. The US has to really be on point but I think they'll do very well

I don't care what any one has to do as long as they do it...

you've stated that If our teams meet yours will win and if they don't your will get further... I'm assuming you knew what the groups where when you formed this opinion? :P ;)

Your making excuses already... :D

No, I'm not making excuses I'm just telling you how disappointed you will be

So how would you rate Americas chances then? ;D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

No, I'm not making excuses I'm just telling you how disappointed you will be

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then stop whinging about who we have to beat and who you have to beat... ::**;) If what you say is true then its irrelevant...

so yes/no if you are wrong will you have your post count reset and your cool clicks swapped for you sads?

shiteeee....Lyle knows more about football than me lol

look at it this way right the us aint gonna survive tht group so will not meet england if by some miracle they didnt get through and played us u would get beaten badly look at ur players lol brian mc bride lol how many goals he scored this season????????

also the us are higher in the fifa rankings becus they play shite teams in friendlies all the while so get pushed up by fifa and cus the fuckers dont like english ppl lol

england recently beat argentina lyle if tht answers ur questions also we have reached the quarters at the 2 last major competitions and only went out for two reasons

1)brasil are just too good oh and david seamon lol
2)tht goal tht was dissalowed against portugal in 2004

that "perfectly good goal"? ... ;)

aye tht be the one ;D

Ok, I'm starting to think rou're serious her Lyle and I'm concerned. For one, if you actually think the US arfe better than England, you need to be commited. Seriously, do the names Demarcus Beasley, Brian Mcbride and Landon Donovan strike fear into the anyone??

England have, most would say, the absolute best defence of anyone in the competition (John Terry and Rio although not amazingly proven as a partnership are top 10 guys). We have a midfield which includes Lampard and Gerrard, often ranked in the top 5 relevant midfielders (ie. play in Europe). Then, we have Rooney, who surrounded by the entire Iranian team could probably still rip the U.S to shreds.

Putting stock in the Fifa rankings is insane. You are ranked highly due to your weak friendlies and exceedingly weak CONCACAF qualifying route where only Mexico should beat you. Czech Republic are a good team but always inexplicably high in the rankings, they have never been more than dark horses and are always underdogs.

Going into this World Cup there is a very similar situation to golf. There is one entity that is so far ahead of everyone else that when they want to turn it on they will destroy everything and anything (Tiger Woods/Brazil), then there are 3 or 4 teams that will beat the rest of the field and on their best day could topple the number 1 guy (Ernie Els, Vijay etc/ England, Italy, Argentina....). US are a good side, but nothing more than a dark horse and if your moaning about struggling against the Czech Republic, your never gonna keep within 5 goals of us.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AdamGB

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lyle

No, I'm not making excuses I'm just telling you how disappointed you will be

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then stop whinging about who we have to beat and who you have to beat... ::**;) If what you say is true then its irrelevant...

so yes/no if you are wrong will you have your post count reset and your cool clicks swapped for you sads?

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Well by the time that happens you'll have got all my sad clicks up

I haven't given you one....





































Yet :P I rarely dish them out ;)