Anyone Ever Lose a Girl you love out of sheer stupdity????

I Fucked up plain and Simple, I dumped a girl I love back in june cause I thought I could do better I am a player of sorts and have dated many of women but she was a friend and then after a while we started going out and we fell in love,anyway I thought I could do better for some dumb ass reason.Now I regret and I am cut to the heart cause I want to see her again personally, I said bad awful things to her because I hated her past (mind is worse than hers) To make matters worse she is a bartender at the local pub I go to and for 3 months I never went when she was there..A few weeks ago I went with some friends when she was working and after 2 hours I was all sorts of LOVESICK and I hate it, I saw her tonite and I miss her so much I want to talk to her but she wont call me...

Please advise I wll answer rany questions and entertain SERIOUS counsel on the matter I AM HURTING BAD!!!!!!!!!

just walk in wen its busy with a massive bunch of flowers


write im sorry, can we talk, on the card


be confident, give her the flowers and say i love you and walk back out, be prepared to have them thrown back at u, but she should be sensible enough to realise how hard it is do do tht and let you call her.

if not, harsh, but you gotta move on

God this sounds all to familiar to me. :)
My man I know all to well what your going through. Your between 18 - 23 I take it, you know I'll be real with you this whole I'm a playa thing and I get this and that anytime I want it is dead. That was cool in the late 90's but it's dead now, if you have never been in love with a women your life is lacking major shit.
You say her past bothers you? JT Rock what you need to do is grow up we all have wraps behind us storys of our Highschool & college days its all part of life and growing up. If what you want is a girl with no history then shit set your eyes on a young 16 yr. old and guide the way you would like your girl to be once shes 18 get with her that way you'll know theres no history there plus it won't bother you. ;)
JT Rock her past is her past, you cant spend your life living it there. Be glad you know her past and you know what shes about, some guys hook up with girls and can be with them for years. then one day they find out she was the local whore. At least you whatever her history says you know about it and your aware of it. \
Now you knew about her and her history before you got with her so then why did you still get with her?
I know cuz you thought to yourself shit!! I hit it but wont commit to it.... So guess what you spend time with her and saw a different side of her and you spend more time and the more time you spend the more you liked her. Time went by and then in your moments of thinking you start telling yourself "Shes fucking around behind my back, yeah she is look at the way she used to be before what makes think shes not doing to me now? Shes probably fucking _____________ <------ insert name here of 'that' guy you think shes doing. And the more you think about it the more it pisses you off and you say fucken bitch!! that slut, tramp, whore fuck her but you just couldnt let go at the time cuz by now you felt something more then just liking her..... Then one day you guys probably got in a arguement you build yourself up with confidence and told her off and got out all those thoughts about her cheating on you out. You called her names and told her all. Right after this happend you were like yeah! I did it fuck it I find some better she aint shet.....Next day when you woke up you started remenising about what your days were like when you were with her and how you would call her early morning and try and plan out your day together or something. You then started questioning yourself if what you had just done was the right thing and for the next few days you couldnt stop thinking about her everything reminded you of her and then one of those days you just picked up the phone and called her just to see how she was doing hoping to hear her voice again over the phone like you would before you went to sleep.

JT Rock sometimes in life we are stuck living in the past that we cant see in front of us or in the future.

Need more info. to further view your situation?
How long have you guys been together?
How serious was the relationship? Did you guys meet family and all, take trips together?
Were you guys doing your 'thang'?

think its safe to say with there reputations they were definately doing there 'thang' mick ;)

(under my breath)
I know I just wanted to read it from him and how he worded himself ;)

Thanks beds ;D

never miss the oppurtunity for a bit of :spam: ;D

Where did JT Rock go?
Thought he needed help? Even pulled up a chair and was getting comffy to help him out. Guess the truth hurts. Boy does it hurt.

Good luck to you JT hope all goes well.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

I Fucked up plain and Simple, I dumped a girl I love back in june cause I thought I could do better I am a player of sorts and have dated many of women but she was a friend and then after a while we started going out and we fell in love,anyway I thought I could do better for some dumb ass reason.Now I regret and I am cut to the heart cause I want to see her again personally, I said bad awful things to her because I hated her past (mind is worse than hers) To make matters worse she is a bartender at the local pub I go to and for 3 months I never went when she was there..A few weeks ago I went with some friends when she was working and after 2 hours I was all sorts of LOVESICK and I hate it, I saw her tonite and I miss her so much I want to talk to her but she wont call me...

Please advise I wll answer rany questions and entertain SERIOUS counsel on the matter I AM HURTING BAD!!!!!!!!!

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want her back for the best for u? or want her back for the best of both of u?

Anyway, thats just a question. But the way life works is if it's meant to be it will happen and by that I'm not saying to sit around and 'wait' lol

Not sure when this was posted. The post times are always crazy for me.


I always wanted a woman with no children. That way if we had a child together the experience would be new to us both. Same for marriage. I thought I had found that person. We were married for two years and she got bored and split. Oh, I was bitter.

I am now with a woman who has a 15 year old son that I cannot stand. I had dated her a bit in the past and decided to move on. Now, she lives with me and considers us "married."

The woman I have loved the most are the ones that didn't want me. Weird how that works out...

Anyway, my advice is... be sure you're not just lonley. Sometimes when are lonley you start urning for something confortable from your past. If the things she has done in her past truly bother you than they probably always will. Also, for me persoanlly the fact that she is a bartender would drive me bonkers. I would steer clear of her no matter how much I loved her. Even if she isn't cheating you won't be able to stop thinking that she is. And if she is than she will say your just being paranoid.
First thing you should do is clean up your act and stay single for an extended period of time. DO NOT DATE. Save money, educate your mind, take it easy. Then when you are in a good frame of mind start fresh with someone you have no history with and take it slow...

I am serious issues. I would rather know nothing of a girls past than know everything. It's hard for me to get over small things.

I am a hypochondriac. I have a fear of public places. I am always scared the electricty is about to go out and leave me sitting in the dark. I hate to take a shower when I am home alone. When someone knocks on the door I peek out the bathroom window to see who it is and if I do not know them I will not answer. I cannot sleep without socks on. I cannot sleep without a fan. I am very possesive of my belongings. and I am always acred that what I am eating is going to give me food poison.

At this point in my life I'll take what I can get. lol However I have made up my mind that if this relationship ends I would be happy living my life alone. I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime and love boxing and football enough to keep me happy.

Sad but all so very true

Ladies are complicated as you know, Truth is if you’re a looker and have charm and a bankroll. , you might still have a chance, if you’re an average Joe and said nasty shit, your fucked. LMFAO ! Also, that shit is going to come up 10 fold every time you have a little argument from now on ., The best thing you can do, is conduct an honest self appraisal of the situation. Ask yourself what are my goals? .. If your looking for a fuck on Friday night, and want her gone by Saturday morning don’t bother with the effort of getting her back , If your truly in love and you fucked it up, you need to tame those demons. Got to Remember the past is the past is the past, We all have one, and hopefully we all learned a little something .. I always tell myself “ Live in the past , die in the Past” never bring up the past. And never dwell on someone else’s Move on to the future.

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Originally Posted by Lords Gym

Ladies are complicated as you know,.

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Right.. and boys are so honest you don't have to figure them out ::**

Starr I never realized you were female ? Please excuse my poor language :Oops:! my apologies on that !

and your right Starr, Men are scum bags ! but we try to be good. :jesus:

Starr, just because we are dishonest doesnt mean we are strange and hard to figure out... ;)

You're probably being sentimental JT, did you really like her that much? you left her.

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Originally Posted by CutMeMicK

God this sounds all to familiar to me. :)
My man I know all to well what your going through. Your between 18 - 23 I take it, you know I'll be real with you this whole I'm a playa thing and I get this and that anytime I want it is dead. That was cool in the late 90's but it's dead now, if you have never been in love with a women your life is lacking major S***.
You say her past bothers you? JT Rock what you need to do is grow up we all have wraps behind us storys of our Highschool & college days its all part of life and growing up. If what you want is a girl with no history then S*** set your eyes on a young 16 yr. old and guide the way you would like your girl to be once shes 18 get with her that way you'll know theres no history there plus it won't bother you. ;)
JT Rock her past is her past, you cant spend your life living it there. Be glad you know her past and you know what shes about, some guys hook up with girls and can be with them for years. then one day they find out she was the local whore. At least you whatever her history says you know about it and your aware of it. \
Now you knew about her and her history before you got with her so then why did you still get with her?
I know cuz you thought to yourself S***!! I hit it but wont commit to it.... So guess what you spend time with her and saw a different side of her and you spend more time and the more time you spend the more you liked her. Time went by and then in your moments of thinking you start telling yourself "Shes F****** around behind my back, yeah she is look at the way she used to be before what makes think shes not doing to me now? Shes probably F****** _____________ <------ insert name here of 'that' guy you think shes doing. And the more you think about it the more it pisses you off and you say fucken bitch!! that slut, tramp, whore F*** her but you just couldnt let go at the time cuz by now you felt something more then just liking her..... Then one day you guys probably got in a arguement you build yourself up with confidence and told her off and got out all those thoughts about her cheating on you out. You called her names and told her all. Right after this happend you were like yeah! I did it F*** it I find some better she aint shet.....Next day when you woke up you started remenising about what your days were like when you were with her and how you would call her early morning and try and plan out your day together or something. You then started questioning yourself if what you had just done was the right thing and for the next few days you couldnt stop thinking about her everything reminded you of her and then one of those days you just picked up the phone and called her just to see how she was doing hoping to hear her voice again over the phone like you would before you went to sleep.

JT Rock sometimes in life we are stuck living in the past that we cant see in front of us or in the future.

Need more info. to further view your situation?
How long have you guys been together?
How serious was the relationship? Did you guys meet family and all, take trips together?
Were you guys doing your 'thang'?

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Thanks for taking the time Mick :) I am 30 by the way and live in Wolcott Ct USA, and never was a player of sorts until my me and my ex fiancee' broke up February of 2004 that was tough on me but we grew apart its as simple as that....I took some time alone to heal, at 1st I didn't want to be bothered by girls just wanted to be left alone, then after a while I wanted to date anything good looking girl I met and I did, then that wasn't fulfilling so I went back to just doing my own thing, then I went back to playing and dating.......Here go's the story

November of 2005 I Started frequenting this Irish Pub down the road from my house, I started taking a liking to a Bartender( we will call her Lori so know one is incriminated) that worked there and my friends new her, she had a boyfriend though(for about 5 yrs), but we still flirted a little bit cause her relationship was on the rocks and she was getting ready to pull the plug....I then said here is my # if it dosen't work out with him call me...She said no #'s right now, I said fair enough....Then when my friends went to the pub and Lori was working, she would have them call me to go down there,well one night I go down to the bar and Lori's there and were talking, well by the end of the night she is chasing me out the door and asking for my phone number, so we talk the next day and I tell her how I feel and she does the same, but I say WHEN YOU BREAK UP we will talk more cause it's not appropriate now, she agrees, well a few weeks go by and we are really hitting it off when I go to the bar but it's bitter sweet since she has the boyfriend and it is wearing us out cause we just like each other to much, so I tell Lori I cant go down anymore when she is working cause it bothers me to much she agrees and tells me it bother her to and I told her I dont want to be the reason you break up with your boyfriend....So I stop talking to her all together..

Now is were it gets complicated, this is going on from late January-March, during this there is a really cute and personable girl( we will call her Jackie as not to incriminate her) that was a cocktail waitress and Server that worked there and would serve me and my friends when we sat at a table instead of the bar..Me and Jackie would talk and joke when she was serving us and had a good time, she had been up in Conn.for about a year in a half and moved up from Florida so they could be closer to her "BOYFRIEND'S" family since they had a 2 yr old kid together(whats up with all the boyfriends LOL!!!!) Well that was cool with me since I liked her co-worker I hadn't really gave much thought about her except she was a cool good looking girl, here is were it gets interesting no one knows I like Lori except my friends we all kept it under wraps cause Lori still had a boyfriend and we didn't want to get her and trouble and especially most of her co-workers so that way ther would be no rumors....OK, now as me and my friends converse with Jackie she tells us what a asshole her boyfriend is and he is not the same person he was when they were down in Florida were they had met, he had a real big drug problem and he moved from Conn to Florida since there were really bad influences up here for him so he moved in with some family and was sober, he had met Jackie at work and they hit it off and were together a few years but he never told her about his past addictions to crack and cocaine, so when they decided to move up to Conn, he started visiting with old friends and started using again, so she would tell us stuff here and there and I would try to have good words and advice for her......

Valentines day 2005 Jackie calls my friends Tattoo parlor in the afternoon cause she thought I worked there he told her I didn't(which is weird since I dont know her to well and didnt have anykind of contact outside the bar with her), a few hours later she calls again all upset and asks again for me this time he asks who it is and she tells him and he tells her I told you he's not here, well when I get out of work at 8pm(I am a finance and sales manager for a car dealer) I call my friend to see what the plans are for the night since we are single and have no girls to do valentines day with, well while we are on the phone Jackie calls the shop crying and telling my friend that she needs to get a hold of me..I tell him to give her my # if she is that upset.

She calls me all upset telling me that her boyfriend was wandering the streets for drugs and wanted to talk to me cause she enjoyed our conversations at the bar and my advice...So we became "ONLY FRIENDS" her boyfriend got arrested and is in jail for drugs and stealing 2 cars since, I really liked Lori(Jackie Didn't know) and didnt want to screw it up....I kept my frienship with Jackie a secret to the bar so it wouldnt look like I was trying to get with the both of them,SO for the next 3 months Jackie and I would hang out talk on the phone and had a good time but I kept it only friends and we never talked about being together or anything but I started to feel things for her cause she was awsome but I would dismiss them cause again I liked Lori to much and I wanted to wait for her to sort out her mess and break it off with the boyfriend, so one night when she got out of work and met me and my friends at another bar to see a Live band play, Jackie had a few drinks and when the nite was over I walked her to her car and I went to turn around to leave and she kissed me!!!!! I was like OK that was a suprise so I told her goodnite and I left..

The next day I call her to talk about what happened and I finally tell her that I do have feelings for her too but I cant act on them cause, so I confessed to her I liked Lori and if I dated her then I could never have a shot at Lori and I started something with Lori that I wanted to finish she was shocked but respected the situation so we agreed to be friends still, well two weeks go by and I think to myself I havent seen or talked to Lori in about a month and a half and I am sick and tired of waiting for something that might not happen not to mention that I have this really cute and awsome girl who is crazy about me and I feel deeply for her so all of a sudden like a revelation it hits me like a ton of bricks!!!! I want to be with Jackie!!! So I call her and tell her how I feel and at 1st she was like I'm your 2nd choice and you are settling with me since I'm not your 1st choice...I had to explain to her that I liked Lori 1st and our friendship just kinda happened in the middle of it all and I had to see it thru with Lori, but I really want you..

So we started going out and things were good at 1st and then there was the usual squabble here and there in the meantime I find out Lori breaks up with her boyfriend since I didn't have to open my heart up to anyone since my Ex Fiancee' and it was tough for me and Jackie since had just broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, so I do the ultimate asshole thing I break up with Jackie and Blame it on our not being ready cause of our Ex's which was bullshit because I wanted to try with Lori well it all backfires..Lori finds out that I was dating and sleeping with Jackie and wants no part of it cause Lori and the rest of the girls that work at the bar know something I dont know..Jackie has slept with a few of the customers and has a bad reputation of course she did that before we were friends and went out (She never cheated on me)....I was pissed and upset when I found out about her past since I am considered clean cut and have a good rep and never dated girls with checkered pasts, so I finally had it with the situation so me and Jackie had been broken up for a month and a half or so I heard a story about she was kinda flaunting that she had sex with this idiot that go's to the bar and I cant stand the kid(she didn't know that) so I call her up and I tell her I was dissapointed with her choice of guy after me and that people think I am dirty since I was with you and your acting like a tramp...So I said the worst possible things that I have ever said to a human being, told her to never call me and erase my # and I erased her #.

I realized that I don't like Lori's personality and I wouldn't want to go with her anyway, I saw Jackie for the 1st time since the end of June and it took the breath out of me literally, all of a sudden I was dealing with feelings for her I didnt think I had I just wanted to run up to her and hold her in my arms and apologize and tell her how much I miss her, so I got drunk with my friends and before I left the bar I walked up to her and whispered to her I was sorry for all the bad things I said to and about her then I stuck out my hand for her to shake it she did and I turned around and walked away... I love Jackie and I miss her she is only the 3rd girl I have ever truly loved and I dont care about her past cause I have one too...I dont care what the girls at the bar think or my friends think she was always a goodfriend and an excellent girlfriend and a superb mother to her child...

I am a total asshole who deserves to feel broken over this I miss her so much and I feel so hurt and remorseful about the things I said to her I never wanted to hurt the one I loved so much.

That folks is my human side and I have Know Idea why I just poured out my heart to the whole world literally..

gl for future jtrock ;)

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Originally Posted by BoxingGorilla

Not sure when this was posted. The post times are always crazy for me.


I always wanted a woman with no children. That way if we had a child together the experience would be new to us both. Same for marriage. I thought I had found that person. We were married for two years and she got bored and split. Oh, I was bitter.

I am now with a woman who has a 15 year old son that I cannot stand. I had dated her a bit in the past and decided to move on. Now, she lives with me and considers us "married."

The woman I have loved the most are the ones that didn't want me. Weird how that works out...

Anyway, my advice is... be sure you're not just lonley. Sometimes when are lonley you start urning for something confortable from your past. If the things she has done in her past truly bother you than they probably always will. Also, for me persoanlly the fact that she is a bartender would drive me bonkers. I would steer clear of her no matter how much I loved her. Even if she isn't cheating you won't be able to stop thinking that she is. And if she is than she will say your just being paranoid.
First thing you should do is clean up your act and stay single for an extended period of time. DO NOT DATE. Save money, educate your mind, take it easy. Then when you are in a good frame of mind start fresh with someone you have no history with and take it slow...

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Thanks Gorilla!! I am not lonely and never have had a shortage of woman in my life.....I have gone thru times were I stayed alone and single so I could fortify my being and do things for me I want to be happy for myself not cause someone makes me happy, They can enhance my happiness but shouldnt be the bases of it cause when there gone so is the happiness, you have to be comfortable in your own skin, if you are not then what do you really have to bring to the table come relationship time......I can be happy single or happy with someone I am comfortable doing either one ;)

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Originally Posted by ICE COLD BOXING

gl for future jtrock ;)

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Thanks bro....This shit is hard sometimes, but hey its all part of life I'll get it sorted out one way or another..

Man I thought you guys would be all about giving me advice and stuff..... :P

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Man I thought you guys would be all about giving me advice and stuff..... :P

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aight i spose theres nothing wrong with a lil advice from your man Body Head!!

i had a real nice gal once..... went out with her for damn near a year....pretty as hell ..i'd show her off to all my buddies...but frijid as hell( that means she was a virgin n i wasnt getting any f9or those who dont get it)
so basically i wasnt getting any and i proper loved her.... but because im a male and i wasnt getting none i was cheating here there and everywhere i got more back then when i had a girl that i REALLY liked then i do now!! and i slept with so many chicks that one happened to be best friends with her best friend and when we'd had a few arguements her best friend blabbed cos she didnt think we were lasting much longer so i was in the shit, and it was all over and i was real gutted ...i know how it feels like cos its like no other physical pain its like in your stomach and you cant think strait cos all it is is like oh shiiiit i reaaaly fucked up...
but give it two weeks i got over her...
then i would hope i dint see her in town or hide if i saw her.....
and now ive never really been into relationships since...
doesnt bother me, i see her i give her a nid and a wink or smile say hello and thats it
i wouldnt get back with her on her nelly, fuck that
you'll get over it..... she MIGHT!! forgive you ;) and if you want her that bad then i suggest if she see's your making an effort and you get friendly again thats all good....
if not..... tough shit i guess :-\
lol
peace out

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Originally Posted by BoxingGorilla

Also, for me persoanlly the fact that she is a bartender would drive me bonkers. I would steer clear of her no matter how much I loved her. Even if she isn't cheating you won't be able to stop thinking that she is. And if she is than she will say your just being paranoid.

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I am not a jealous person by anymeans, and I am pretty secure I never gave it a second thought that she bartends if she cheats she is gonna cheat whether she's a cleaning lady a metermaid or a Bartender

nothing like a loose metermaid i might add ;)

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Originally Posted by Lords Gym

nothing like a loose metermaid i might add ;)

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haha

yo JT bro I got ya PM and i want u to know im here for ya bro i briefly skimmed thru ya story, but im mad busy right now i have another meeting to go to then i have to make an inventory run then later tonight ill drop some REAL TALK on here for ya!
hang in there bro!

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Originally Posted by TheBESTP4P

yo JT bro I got ya PM and i want u to know im here for ya bro i briefly skimmed thru ya story, but im mad busy right now i have another meeting to go to then i have to make an inventory run then later tonight ill drop some REAL TALK on here for ya!
hang in there bro!

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Thanks Brutha your input would be greatly appreciated....I got myself into a good one here I am fuked..LOL I got to work on this whole balance issue its all or its nothing with me no in between....I will pull off the upset though and charm her again just got to put the gameplan together...Sad enough it's all about the damage control now and nothing else.........

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Originally Posted by beds

just walk in wen its busy with a massive bunch of flowers


write im sorry, can we talk, on the card


be confident, give her the flowers and say i love you and walk back out, be prepared to have them thrown back at u, but she should be sensible enough to realise how hard it is do do tht and let you call her.

if not, harsh, but you gotta move on

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I thought of that beds not a bad move its a viable option ;)

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Quote:

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Originally Posted by beds

just walk in wen its busy with a massive bunch of flowers


write im sorry, can we talk, on the card


be confident, give her the flowers and say i love you and walk back out, be prepared to have them thrown back at u, but she should be sensible enough to realise how hard it is do do tht and let you call her.

if not, harsh, but you gotta move on

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I thought of that beds not a bad move its a viable option ;)

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would take big balls to do it mate

so polish them gonads and in ya go ;)

never got 2 have any of the girls that ive cared about--it just sux --i always lose out 2 some douche bag--atleast youve had the girl that actually meant somethin 2 u---cuz i neva had

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Originally Posted by undefeated

never got 2 have any of the girls that ive cared about--it just sux --i always lose out 2 some douche bag--atleast youve had the girl that actually meant somethin 2 u---cuz i neva had

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cheer up ugly ;)


j/k fella cc for being lonely

i guess if shiz gets to rough for you jt you can always join the navy!! ;)

bet you meet some nice new friends there!! :o

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Originally Posted by body head banger

i guess if shiz gets to rough for you jt you can always join the navy!! ;)

bet you meet some nice new friends there!! :o

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Yeah I'll do that!!!! :plthumbsdown: I dont have a problem getting chics...I just want mine back... :army:< no thanks being on a ship out to sea with a bunch of guys, I can see it now....Hey JT Look its the TITANIC!!!!...Oh yea were :knock_out: I'll pass thanks anyway ;)

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Originally Posted by undefeated

never got 2 have any of the girls that ive cared about--it just sux --i always lose out 2 some douche bag--atleast youve had the girl that actually meant somethin 2 u---cuz i neva had

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Thats alright my man your time will come....and you'll probably fuk it up like most ;) at 30 I have loved 3 girls and lost them all.....I'll get it right one of these days and so will you....Until then spend your $$$$$ and go to the nudey bar and stare at some heavy hangers....... :hubbahubba: :boobs2:

:coolclick: are being passed out to you guys for having to read my sniveling pathetic problems I'll snap out of it... :hypnotized: :twak: :cwm3:

lol hope you recover nicely Jt and sort your shiz out!
im'a hit the sack....



then go to bed


:o

lol ner kiddin its bed time ;)
peace.

Man, I was hoping WACKO had some words of wisdom for me.... LOL!!!

to some everything up in one sentence

nudie magazine subscription and Vaseline is a lot cheaper mate ! ;)

cc back at cha

hey yo Justin Timberlake Rock,
this is my advice to you bro. whenever you start out as friends it could be a GREAT thang or a very drama thang. cuz u tend to know all the down low details of each other etc as friends first. now some of us can deal with the past more better than others. ive come to realize the more finer the girl, the more complicated the past especially if she had her younger wild stages. personally i never hook up with females who are in the "friend zone" just as chris rock states. When i first meet a chick i either put them into the friend zone category, or the friends with benefits category or the this could be the one category. so far unfortunately due to my sky high standards ive never really been able to place any girls in the last category yet. but more importantly bro you, yourself need to handle yo sh*t and do ya thang! keep ya priorities focused and your goals focused(career, education, financial stability, future etc). then once you have all that locked down the girls will come automatically. i mean how many other guys do u know who are 27 yrs old and already own hotels/casinos/restaraunts? exactly i wouldnt be here where im at today if i let some wack drama girl cock block my goals from becoming reality. I really just give girls one chance to prove them selves to me if they seem too much drama, psycho or annoying i never call them EVER AGAIN! i travel alot for business i go to conferences/conventions/meetings/events all over the west coast. so i have like 3 times the likelihood of meeting new chicks and decent chicks with careers and futures ahahha. so my advice to you is to travel get out more. dont only focus on the local neighborhood. go on some vacations if you can. im 27 these are my last prime years of clocking fine honeys i know this is how i should be rocking it. now back to your girls situation if you truly feel in your heart that she is indeed the one than just be up front and REAL with her. tell straight up from your heart that this is what you feel. write a letter if your not good at talking in person. whats important is not what she responds to what u have to say, but the fact that you actually had the chance to say what you had to say and thats REAL TALK yo!

OK let me start off by saying :o Shit!! JT Rock what the fuck did you get yourself into? And second please note that I will give you straight up advice and word myself in the most real way I can I dont mean to offend either you or the people involved here. :)

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Thanks for taking the time Mick :) I am 30 by the way and live in Wolcott Ct USA, and never was a player of sorts until my me and my ex fiancee' broke up February of 2004 that was tough on me but we grew apart its as simple as that....I took some time alone to heal, at 1st I didn't want to be bothered by girls just wanted to be left alone, then after a while I wanted to date anything good looking girl I met and I did, then that wasn't fulfilling so I went back to just doing my own thing, then I went back to playing and dating.......Here go's the story

November of 2005 I Started frequenting this Irish Pub down the road from my house, I started taking a liking to a Bartender( we will call her Lori so know one is incriminated) that worked there and my friends new her, she had a boyfriend though(for about 5 yrs), but we still flirted a little bit cause her relationship was on the rocks and she was getting ready to pull the plug....I then said here is my # if it dosen't work out with him call me...She said no #'s right now, I said fair enough....

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Ehh!! Why would you give your number to a girl who still had a boyfriend? Even if a relationship is on the rocks. Girls not even out of one and your already setting her up for the next, but to be fair to you JT this happens ALL the time where a guy meets a girl whos in a shakey relationship and there we go thinking its a good idea.... It's not.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Then when my friends went to the pub and Lori was working, she would have them call me to go down there,well one night I go down to the bar and Lori's there and were talking, well by the end of the night she is chasing me out the door and asking for my phone number, so we talk the next day and I tell her how I feel and she does the same, but I say WHEN YOU BREAK UP we will talk more cause it's not appropriate now, she agrees, well a few weeks go by and we are really hitting it off when I go to the bar but it's bitter sweet since she has the boyfriend and it is wearing us out cause we just like each other to much, so I tell Lori I cant go down anymore when she is working cause it bothers me to much she agrees and tells me it bother her to and I told her I dont want to be the reason you break up with your boyfriend....So I stop talking to her all together..

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1st she said no #'s, then shes asking you for your # ??? Did you ask her why the change of heart? And more importantly why would you give your # to a girl who has a boyfriend despite 'their' situation? Automatically you place yourself as the bad guy by doing that. And I quote "WHEN YOU BREAK UP we will talk more cause it's not appropriate now" Let me ask you this, was it appropriate for you to make the move on her by giving her your # when she didnt ask for it? Was it appropriate when she asked you for your #? The whole time that you talked behind her boyfriends back was that appropriate? You should never under any circumstances begin to flirt, eye, or give your # to a girl whos in a relationship regardless of status. Did you ever stop to think and say OK I like her and all but if her boyfriend finds out is he crazy enough to kill her & me? Or just her? Or just me?

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Now is were it gets complicated, this is going on from late January-March, during this there is a really cute and personable girl( we will call her Jackie as not to incriminate her) that was a cocktail waitress and Server that worked there and would serve me and my friends when we sat at a table instead of the bar..Me and Jackie would talk and joke when she was serving us and had a good time, she had been up in Conn.for about a year in a half and moved up from Florida so they could be closer to her "BOYFRIEND'S" family since they had a 2 yr old kid together(whats up with all the boyfriends LOL!!!!) Well that was cool with me since I liked her co-worker I hadn't really gave much thought about her except she was a cool good looking girl, here is were it gets interesting no one knows I like Lori except my friends we all kept it under wraps cause Lori still had a boyfriend and we didn't want to get her and trouble and especially most of her co-workers so that way ther would be no rumors....OK, now as me and my friends converse with Jackie she tells us what a asshole her boyfriend is and he is not the same person he was when they were down in Florida were they had met, he had a real big drug problem and he moved from Conn to Florida since there were really bad influences up here for him so he moved in with some family and was sober, he had met Jackie at work and they hit it off and were together a few years but he never told her about his past addictions to crack and cocaine, so when they decided to move up to Conn, he started visiting with old friends and started using again, so she would tell us stuff here and there and I would try to have good words and advice for her......

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JT Rock we are men here the second you say 'really cute', 'we talked', 'we joked' and you repeated "cool good looking girl' those are all signs that somethings happening or is gonna happen especially in a atmosphere where its good times, alcohol helps it out a bit. The second a woman starts talkign to you about her troubles thats just their way of crying out for help! They are hoping someone reaches out and pulls them from there. You became good friends with both eventhough your intations with at least one of them were to be more then friends. The found comfort in you since they didnt find it at home BUT you put yourself there.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

Valentines day 2005 Jackie calls my friends Tattoo parlor in the afternoon cause she thought I worked there he told her I didn't(which is weird since I dont know her to well and didnt have anykind of contact outside the bar with her), a few hours later she calls again all upset and asks again for me this time he asks who it is and she tells him and he tells her I told you he's not here, well when I get out of work at 8pm(I am a finance and sales manager for a car dealer) I call my friend to see what the plans are for the night since we are single and have no girls to do valentines day with, well while we are on the phone Jackie calls the shop crying and telling my friend that she needs to get a hold of me..I tell him to give her my # if she is that upset.

She calls me all upset telling me that her boyfriend was wandering the streets for drugs and wanted to talk to me cause she enjoyed our conversations at the bar and my advice...So we became "ONLY FRIENDS" her boyfriend got arrested and is in jail for drugs and stealing 2 cars since,

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JT Rock you say Jackie is a mother and if I understood right this guy is the father.... Why on earth would she be crying and wasting her time with him if hes no good for them, as a husband/boyfriend & father? That should tell you that she herself has troubles. IMO anyone regardless of gender who stays in a bad relationship (drugs, violence, abuse any type, unfaithfullness) because they love the other person or anyother lame as excuse you can come up with is IMO not a healthy person and has low selfesteem in the sense that why would you put yourself through moments like that, that you dont need in your life. She should be more worried about raising her son and teaching him some values in life and she def. DOES NOT need a man to teach her son that.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

I really liked Lori(Jackie Didn't know) and didnt want to screw it up....I kept my frienship with Jackie a secret to the bar so it wouldnt look like I was trying to get with the both of them,

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Ehh! crucial mistake..... :( The second you create a secret within a secret that shit is bound to bite 'you' right in the ass..... Cause 'When the shit hits the fan' oh! boy!! its gonna get everyone, and even if you try to explain yourself why you kept your relationship under wraps noone will believe you.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

SO for the next 3 months Jackie and I would hang out talk on the phone and had a good time but I kept it only friends and we never talked about being together or anything but I started to feel things for her cause she was awsome but I would dismiss them cause again I liked Lori to much and I wanted to wait for her to sort out her mess and break it off with the boyfriend, so one night when she got out of work and met me and my friends at another bar to see a Live band play, Jackie had a few drinks and when the nite was over I walked her to her car and I went to turn around to leave and she kissed me!!!!! I was like OK that was a suprise so I told her goodnite and I left..

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Shit! JT come on my man..... Your trying to hook up with a girl who still has a man, your fooling yourself into thinking you got a good freinship with Jackie when in reality you keep mentioning her in the 'hook up terms', you say you started getting feeling for her. JT your a grown man you know very damn well that a girl & for that matter even a guy with some liquor in his/her system is bound to do something they probably wouldnt do sober. When she kissed you, you could have said something other than just talking to yourself and saying "OK". Why didn't you say 'Jackie you've been drinking I don't think it was appropriate what you did just go home and we will talk tomorrow' (I take it you kissed her back)
Why?
Cause you knew what your doing? You knew you were gonna be able to hook up with both of them in the end. You might not have planed it but as it unraveled you knew it and you went along with it.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

The next day I call her to talk about what happened and I finally tell her that I do have feelings for her too but I cant act on them cause, so I confessed to her I liked Lori and if I dated her then I could never have a shot at Lori and I started something with Lori that I wanted to finish she was shocked but respected the situation so we agreed to be friends still, well two weeks go by and I think to myself I havent seen or talked to Lori in about a month and a half and I am sick and tired of waiting for something that might not happen not to mention that I have this really cute and awsome girl who is crazy about me and I feel deeply for her so all of a sudden like a revelation it hits me like a ton of bricks!!!! I want to be with Jackie!!! So I call her and tell her how I feel and at 1st she was like I'm your 2nd choice and you are settling with me since I'm not your 1st choice...I had to explain to her that I liked Lori 1st and our friendship just kinda happened in the middle of it all and I had to see it thru with Lori, but I really want you..

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Offcourse she feels 2nd choice, thats cause she is...... Although it is not your fault that the timing of both of these relationships interfered with eachother it is your fault for missleading them both.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

So we started going out and things were good at 1st and then there was the usual squabble here and there in the meantime I find out Lori breaks up with her boyfriend since I didn't have to open my heart up to anyone since my Ex Fiancee' and it was tough for me and Jackie since had just broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, so I do the ultimate asshole thing I break up with Jackie and Blame it on our not being ready cause of our Ex's which was bullshit because I wanted to try with Lori well it all backfires..Lori finds out that I was dating and sleeping with Jackie and wants no part of it cause Lori and the rest of the girls that work at the bar know something I dont know..Jackie has slept with a few of the customers and has a bad reputation of course she did that before we were friends and went out (She never cheated on me)....I was pissed and upset when I found out about her past since I am considered clean cut and have a good rep and never dated girls with checkered pasts, so I finally had it with the situation so me and Jackie had been broken up for a month and a half or so I heard a story about she was kinda flaunting that she had sex with this idiot that go's to the bar and I cant stand the kid(she didn't know that) so I call her up and I tell her I was dissapointed with her choice of guy after me and that people think I am dirty since I was with you and your acting like a tramp...So I said the worst possible things that I have ever said to a human being, told her to never call me and erase my # and I erased her #.

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Well JT there you have it, what I talked about earlier when the shit hits the fan it gets everyone.

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

I realized that I don't like Lori's personality and I wouldn't want to go with her anyway, I saw Jackie for the 1st time since the end of June and it took the breath out of me literally, all of a sudden I was dealing with feelings for her I didnt think I had I just wanted to run up to her and hold her in my arms and apologize and tell her how much I miss her, so I got drunk with my friends and before I left the bar I walked up to her and whispered to her I was sorry for all the bad things I said to and about her then I stuck out my hand for her to shake it she did and I turned around and walked away... I love Jackie and I miss her she is only the 3rd girl I have ever truly loved and I dont care about her past cause I have one too...I dont care what the girls at the bar think or my friends think she was always a goodfriend and an excellent girlfriend and a superb mother to her child...

I am a total asshole who deserves to feel broken over this I miss her so much and I feel so hurt and remorseful about the things I said to her I never wanted to hurt the one I loved so much.

That folks is my human side and I have Know Idea why I just poured out my heart to the whole world literally..

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JT Rock, I'm Mexican-American and in Mexico theres a saying that goes; In the end you'll be left like a dog with either one of the 2 meals this saying goes back to a really old folk story. Anyway it basically says that you were so greedy and only thought of yourself that in the end you were left with nothing. You typed the story in the sense that made it seem like your intetions were good with both but if you read betweeen the lines you can see that you might have started this with good intentions but when you saw another oppourtunity you said ahh! fuck it I can get away with it.
In all honesty I personally don't think you can fix this one right here, because this one got ugly. The second you loose respect for someone in any way, you will do it over and over again. Cause you'll know you can get away with it. One day your gonna get in a arguement and you will bring up the fact that she slepted with that guy you hate, and then in your mind you will picture her with him and it will fucken eat you alive day in and day out.

And please blieve me when I say you dont want that in your life, JT I would highly recommend you cut all connections to either girl I mean start hanging out across town or something. You got any vacations day left, take a few days and get out if you cant afford something big, fuck it the outdoors are a beauty and you don't need much $ to do that.
What do you like to do? Go fishing? Do you play any sports? What kind of education do you have? Enroll in school take some courses, cooking or ceramics. Do you have family? Nieces, nephews cousins? Get involved with them....

JT GOOD LUCK and I know everything will work out for you just keep a positive mind and LOOK FOWARD.

Peace,
CutMeMick

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Originally Posted by JT Rock

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Originally Posted by undefeated

never got 2 have any of the girls that ive cared about--it just sux --i always lose out 2 some douche bag--atleast youve had the girl that actually meant somethin 2 u---cuz i neva had

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Thats alright my man your time will come....and you'll probably fuk it up like most ;) at 30 I have loved 3 girls and lost them all.....I'll get it right one of these days and so will you....Until then spend your $$$$$ and go to the nudey bar and stare at some heavy hangers....... :hubbahubba: :boobs2:

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Maybe its because like you said you keep thinking you can do better and don't appreciate what you had till you lost it. maybe you shouldn't take things for granted anymore. If it's happened 3 times life is trying to tell you something