A local paedophile ring has made the unprecedented step of issuing a statement after being accused of hiding Shannon Matthews for two weeks.
They said 'Fuck off - we do have some standards you know'
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A local paedophile ring has made the unprecedented step of issuing a statement after being accused of hiding Shannon Matthews for two weeks.
They said 'Fuck off - we do have some standards you know'
Following the success of the West Yorkshire Police in finding Shannon Matthews, the Portuguese Police have gone back to the McCanns villa to look under the bed
Whats the difference between Madeline McCann and Shannon Matthews?
People actually wanted Madeline to be found.
Shannon Matthews has been found alive and unharmed.
Thank goodness she was too ugly to molest.
I was reading about Shannon Matthews' mum earlier today, that she's got 7 kids by 5 different fathers. Personally, i think that's fucking disgusting...
I mean what man would want to shag her twice??
Shannon Matthews, the first Madeleine McCann tribute act.
Shannon Matthews parents are happy that their daughter has been found safe.......
But on the other hand they are sad they hadn't managed to raise the Ł300,000 they wanted for a nice new house, boat and holiday.
Shannon Matthews has been found safe and well. Her first words were, "Have Newcastle won yet?" "Fuck off," replies the copper, "You've only been missing a month..."
Statement from Shannon Matthews Grandparents:
"yes we saw something under the bed - we just thought the ugly thing was a rat"
Shannon Matthews will have had all her self esteem and confidence destroyed by the events of the last three weeks. She couldnt even get a shag off a paedophile !
Now that Shannon Matthews has been found,
Police have started issuing raffle tickets to find her dad
Shannon Matthews mother gave her the pet name Bullseye.
When she conceived half the blokes in Dewsbury had a shot at it.
I don't think jokes about child sex abuse are actually funny. Judging by the complete lack of responses I'm guessing neither does anybody else.
Jeremy Beadle, terrorism, religion and practically anything else is fine with me but I don't find this stuff funny at all
Sorry you feel like that but a sick joke is a sick joke is a sick joke .... once you start trying to define which ones are allowable, you're always going to be wrong because someone else will have a different grading system to you. Once paramters are defined, there is no such thing as a sick joke.
I didn't say these jokes wern't allowable, I just said they wern't funny ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by X
As for parameters and being right or wrong, again you can be right but still not funny.
I enjoy all of your other stuff, just jokes about abused or feared murdured kids is not something that makes me laugh.
Now Jeremy Beadle or suicide bombers on the other hand........
I bloody knew there was something dodgy about that family (allegedly)
Yeah the whole story just gets weirder and weirder :-\Quote:
Originally Posted by X
I know they've arrested her mother now, do they think she made the whole thing up? And what for, what could they stand to gain from pretending their daughter was kidnapped? :confused:
Whole story is fucking bizarre
I'll tell you what happened .... they are thick inbred, yet oddly greedy, scum and were sat in their house watching about the Madeline McCann fund.
She thought to herself 'I'll have some of that'.
I have been told by a senior copper that the Matthews family sent a lawyer round to contact the McCann fund the very day after they reported Shannon missing.
They had better hope they don't get jail time .... because they are dead in there (as well as on their estate)
I see them getting new identities just like the Soham killer's girlfriend had to.
Shame the mother is so pig ugly she'd be recognised anywhere. I mean, I bet she even has to get her vibrator pissed!! :)
As a rule of thumb every dog year is about the same as 7 human years.
Which explains why Karen Matthews looks so fucking awful at the age of 32.
The Matthews family are being head-hunted for an entire series of the Jeremy Kyle Show.
So far they've been offered four packs of Lambert & Butler, six cans of Special Brew and a dog-eared copy of Razzle. Negotiations are stuck on their demands for a KFC Family Bucket; the show producers can't afford a bucket big enough for the Matthews Family.
Ocean Finance advert makers are said to be preparing a counter-offer to include a supermarket dash around Cash Converters and three Lotto scratch-cards.
Now that Shannon Matthews has been found,
Police have started issuing raffle tickets to find her dad
Pete Doherty has asked for the biggest,cheapest,dirtiest piece of crack to be delivered to his cell...the wardens brought Karen Matthews to him.
At last! This country has a family more fucked up than the royals!
I get the feeling you do not like the Mathew family:-\
So, i was at a bar last night and i saw Karen Matthews.
She was so ugly, she spiked her own drink
I see that a man from Austria had locked his daughter in his cellar for 24 years.
If only Karen Matthews could've thought of that.
Just when you thought that Maddie had pissed the International Hide and Seek championship, a bloody Austrian romps away with the title with 24 years.
spare a thought for Shannon Mathews and her family today.......they are still writing out their Fathers Day cards....
so the mother was in on her kidnapping? ie, they had their daughter kidnapped to get a ransom?
Karen Matthews court case has just got under way, and the court room has been told of how she lied to police.
They listened to her say in the 999 call, "my 'beautiful' daughter is missing."
Alan Carr has apologised for his Karen Matthews gag after he was slated by the press.
The silly cunt should have posted it here where it would have been appreciated.
Pete Doherty has asked for the biggest, cheapest, dirtiest piece of crack to be delivered to his cell... The wardens brought Karen Matthews to him.
Karen Matthew’s has publicly admitted to being afraid of being raped in prison. Let me reassure you love, unless they are sticking you in a prison for the fucking mentally ill, you’ve nowt to worry about.
The police who interviewed Karen Matthews spoke today.
They said they wanted to rough her up a bit but nature beat them to it.
What do Kermit the Frog and Craig Meehan have in common?
They both enjoy fucking pigs.
What has Karen Matthews got in common with Holland ?
She'll soon be surrounded by dykes too.
Shannon Matthew's Step-Dad has recently suffered an even more humiliating fate than being arrested for Child Porn. Being dumped by Karen Matthews.
The police interviewing of Karen Matthews: the only time you hope that a police investigation will end with a cover up.
So we have had an Austrian in the cellar, Shannon Matthews under the bed and now a nurse in the boot.
If we find Maddie in the attic, I'm going to patent the board game.
Shannon Matthews' stepdad.
Should have gone to Specsavers.