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Old joke but a good one
A hippy gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex ?"
"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."
She then stands up, and gets off at the next stop.
The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippy and says: "I can tell you how to have sex with her !"
"Yeah ?", says the hippy.
"Yeah", says the bus driver.. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray. So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God" .
The hippy decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face, "You must have sex with me".
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to ass sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.
As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
"Ha-ha!," he cries. "I am the hippy!"
"Ha-ha!," cries the nun. "I am the bus driver "
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Re: Old joke but a good one
:D hehe I almost spit on my keyboard, was drinking oj, would not have been cool , Andre...
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Ha ha nice one;D
I remember hearing the legendary Bernard Manning tell that in around 1990. I almost choked laughing.
Amazing really that you just don't see it coming :)
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mark TKO
Ha ha nice one;D
I remember hearing the legendary Bernard Manning tell that in around 1990. I almost choked laughing.
Amazing really that you just don't see it coming :)
i can imagine mannings one was a tad more blue ;D;D;D
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Re: Old joke but a good one
wow that joke takes me right back to my childhood, forgot it excisted.:cool::cool::cool:
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Re: Old joke but a good one
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says “ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me. The man says “You go and tell him off. I’ll hold the monkey for you”.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I cleaned up the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair..
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Re: Old joke but a good one
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find them.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
It's definitely true that woman can't do more than one thing at once. I just told my missus to sit down and shut the fuck up and she won't do either!
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Re: Old joke but a good one
A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are identical twins. If you’ve seen Juan, then you have seen Amal”.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I went to the doctor the other day and I asked him “have you got anything for wind?” So he gave me a kite.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
HAha.
I went to the optometrist he seemed a bit off .
He said: come out here and look up ,what can you see?
The sun? I said..
He goes: "Well how much fukkin further do want to see"
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Re: Old joke but a good one
When Susan’s boyfriend proposed, she says “I love the simple things in life but I do not want one of them for my husband”
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Re: Old joke but a good one
There are some people who are nice and you can get on with and there are others you hate and absolutely despise. For instance I love my girlfriend, she is beautiful and i can get on with her, but my wife.... :)
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Re: Old joke but a good one
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and said “did you get my drift?”
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Re: Old joke but a good one
- knock knock
- who's there?
- fuck
- fuck who?
- fuck you!
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
:::PSL:::
- knock knock
- who's there?
- fuck
- fuck who?
- fuck you!
HAha, a South Korean joke!
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Some of these jokes are old as hell, but it could a smile on my face.;D
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I said to the gym instructor “can you teach me how to do the splits?” He replied “How flexible are you?” So I said “I can make Tuesday’s.”
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only 1 dog in it…it was a shitzu.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Police arrested 2 kids the other day, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
why do women prefer jelly babies than men??
because jelly babies come in 5 different colours
;D
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Re: Old joke but a good one
You know why Baptists never have sex standing up?
They don't want people to think they are dancing
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Why do women wear perfume and make-up?...
Because they stink and ugly!
;D
(I'm no sexist. I just thought it's really funny).
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
I got really sick in the airport, its a terminal illness.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
AHaha you cant beat the very first comment here, scroll down .. ;D
Caption this image @ CaptionThis.org
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Re: Old joke but a good one
why does everyone hate Audley Harrison so much. He has not hurt anyone.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...' :p
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Re: Old joke but a good one
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
My racing snail is not winning any more races, so i took his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn't work.
If anything its made him more sluggish.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Master
My racing snail is not winning any more races, so i took his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn't work.
If anything its made him more sluggish.
Try pouring a pinch of salt on him.
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Re: Old joke but a good one
How do you circumcise Floyd Mayweather Jr?
Kick Hornfinger's chin
