Whats red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Bored are we?

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century?

It isn't, its a cult.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ghost

Bored are we?

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YEP.

They are called anti jokes.
but I think they are funny.
which is funny.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Andre

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Never happened :rolleyes:

What's black and white and red all over?








The President after a night with the missus.

Andre you forget the Meds tonight?

I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping:

I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint!

Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forgot what you went in for.

It was only when the shit started running down my leg that I remembered.

What's black and white and red all over?































A penguin in a microwave.

That was some christmas party I went to!

I reckon my drink was spiked, as I cant remember anything.

I didnt wake up until boxing day.
All I had was an empty pizza box next to me, with a fucking grey sock in it!

(will only make sense to people in uk)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ghost

What's black and white and red all over?































A penguin in a microwave.

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What's green and red traveling 100 mph?











A frog in a blender.

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

I'm glad you posted these. ;D

Sitting in a train the other day and an Indian woman over the way seemed to stop breathing as her head dropped down I noticed a red dot on her forehead and realized she was just on stand by.

I was having sex with my retarded girlfriend the other night and she wouldn't let me cum in her mouth.

So I shot my load on the window and let nature take it's course! ;D

I then had sex with a deaf and dumb girl a few nights later, I was so embarressed I super glued her fingers together so she wouldn't tell anyone. :-X