Anxiety in the gym

I was wondering if any of the seasoned fighters or boxing enthusiasts have any advice for over-coming mental anxiety in the gym.

I by nature, am a pretty shy person. I also suffer from social anxiety, even despite my physical stature which is 6'3" 205lbs. I am 23 years-old and have been boxing for about 2 years now.

In the gym I tend to feel awkward when shadowboxing. I know I need to prep my mind for what I should be focused on, technique, footwork, combos, but I feel like every one is watching me even though I know they are not. Self-conscious, too damn self-conscious :mad:

Where I go is a relatively small gym. I also have a hard time with getting in the ring and sparring. As a boxing student, I get timid and feel like I don't want to hurt the other person. I tend to wait for punches to come and get hit a few times before I start firing back and going on the offensive.

How do I go about getting over these issues. It's a boxing gym. It's a sport. You hit people. You get hit. How do I take the personal feelings out of the equation?:confused:

Unfortunately this un-easiness is something I suffer from in any social event, or in groups of big people.

Thank you in advance!

As someone who's had anxiety issues in the past, I can tell you that, for me, the only way to overcome it was to force myself to do the things that were making me anxious. In your case, provided the anxiety isn't completely debilitating, I would suggest you just get in the gym and give yourself a couple of months to get used to it. If you're anything like me, you'll find that the anxiety gradually abates.

Man o Man... i feel like i am looking at my own feelings on paper when i read your post. i am a big guy too and i used to feel like that.

what i do now is deep breaths before i go in the ring and picture myself having fun and being relaxed. the first time i did this was the best time ive ever had in the ring also that is when i started to put to practice what i had been learning in the gym. this is also the first time my coach said that he saw a BIG imporvement in my skill and fluid movement.

as for shadow boxing... i too go to a small gym and just knowing that everyone else feels like a dick at first helped me to get a lot less stressed. start off by going through the motions slowly and speed up as you feel better about what you are doing.

all in all you will feel better with time, and know that all the guys in the gym that you train with want to get better and want you to get better too. hang in there, you can do it!!

I have the same problem but its not in the gym its when i fight. I do great in the gym sparring hard and everything else but during my first two fights i froze bad, I basically forgot everything I know. but like the other guys said the more fights I had the better my nerves and feelings became and now ive won my past last 3 fights in a row. amateur of course.

Everyone who trains in boxing feels a little nervous when exposing their skills at the gym.
You feel vulnerable as you expose your best abilities in front of the "strangers" who judge you.

To be honest what I found was once I immersed myself in the gym "community" I felt a lot more at ease. This meant I just made friends of the fighters and mentors of the trainers. Being comfortable in my gym I feel more at ease and have no reservations in exerting myself more.

Best of luck buddy

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Originally Posted by BigSkinny87

I was wondering if any of the seasoned fighters or boxing enthusiasts have any advice for over-coming mental anxiety in the gym.

I by nature, am a pretty shy person. I also suffer from social anxiety, even despite my physical stature which is 6'3" 205lbs. I am 23 years-old and have been boxing for about 2 years now.

In the gym I tend to feel awkward when shadowboxing. I know I need to prep my mind for what I should be focused on, technique, footwork, combos, but I feel like every one is watching me even though I know they are not. Self-conscious, too damn self-conscious :mad:

Where I go is a relatively small gym. I also have a hard time with getting in the ring and sparring. As a boxing student, I get timid and feel like I don't want to hurt the other person. I tend to wait for punches to come and get hit a few times before I start firing back and going on the offensive.

How do I go about getting over these issues. It's a boxing gym. It's a sport. You hit people. You get hit. How do I take the personal feelings out of the equation?:confused:

Unfortunately this un-easiness is something I suffer from in any social event, or in groups of big people.

Thank you in advance!

---

Its like that with any new place you go to and your meeting new people, once you get to know people your be fine. I was the same too when i started boxing, and also when i first started high school.

And i haven't got anxiety, but i was shitting bricks both times. Because you feel unsure and your not comfortable with people you don't know or new surrondings. Its just human nature.

Your be fine and in the end your be thinking to yourself, what the hell was i worrying about in the first place, good luck bro.

I always find if I think "This is fukkin great" and smile to myself slightly on the outer but mostly inside behind my eyes (if you can get that meaning); It disappears real fast,as the brain takes the que from the smile muscles and the intent, instead of the usual other way around where the smile comes last.
Great when in a fearful situation. Works well in big surf. Its also relaxing so you conserve breath and energy as well.

I too suffered with this at first but eventually realised everyone was in the same boat at one point and luckily for me everyone I've asked or has saw me struggling have been very helpful :)

I too suffered with this at first but eventually realised everyone was in the same boat at one point and luckily for me everyone I've asked or has saw me struggling have been very helpful :)

Everybody wrote 'good stuff' here but the key is that this is still going on after two years, and it is still significant enough to get BigSkinny87 to post asking for help.

Also, he had most of the 'right attitude' stuff expressed in his own initial post.

So here is a different idea: Go find an "NLP Therapist" -- someone who advertises as using Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Ask the therapist UP FRONT, "How long will this take?" If they answer isn't something like "20 minutes or you don't have to pay me" find a different therapist.


Ok, the answer might be "Two sessions, and if we haven't solved your problem I will help you find a different therapist."

Good NLP Therapists help people remove such issues all the time -- and they are confident enough to offer money back guarantees (or else they are not "good enough" in my estimation.)

Alternatively, you could take an NLP "practitioner" course -- during which you will get enough "accidentally therapy" (hey, everybody has to practice the techniques with a partner) AND you will ge the tools to help yourself with many problems.

Really.

--
Herb

Herb, i have never heard of that(npl) will you tell us how to find such a person?

sorry NLP

Yellow pages (commercial phone directory), Internet search (google) should work most anywhere in North America or Europe.

Many therapists have some NLP training -- some certainly just 'took a course' and never really internalized the techniques properly so get someone who is confident enough to offer a money back guarantee and will do it FAST.

A big part of NLP is doing things quick and easy that other therapy modalities treat as hard and slow.

For simple phobias (this may not be such) it takes a decent BEGINNER at NLP and about 20 minutes (15 minutes to make sure the change is Ok and 5 minutes to actually DO the work.)

Then anchoring in good useful resources in the situation should take another 20 minutes. Teaching you to build additional resources (making you able to fish and not just giving you dinner) a little bit longer so you don't NEED the therapist to fixup any lingering problems.

If this is not a simple phobia, MAYBE a 2nd session. With the good resource anchoring and you knowing how to build on that, it will not only be better right away, it will get better each time you visit the gym as long as you WORK the methods while you WORK out.

Stepping into the ring, would be another good place to build.

A good NLP people helper will need to be a little careful here to make sure and get the difference between removing any harmful anxieties and replacing these with useful resource states VERSUS trying to make someone overconfident or careless about competition. A little of the proper type of nervous energy can help you fight better and remind you to PROTECT yourself at all times.

Boxing has ritual and structure, so keying all this to the existing procedures and your own pre-workout or pre-fight habits is easy.

E.g., you wrap your hands each day before you workout, right? I would suggest keying the gym (ordinary workout) changes to this time etc.

You get ready and get into a competition ring a certain way, the coach says or does certain things, so does the ref -- use that predictable structure to remind your of your tasks and inner resources for completing those tasks.

Another example is people who need to get hit before they "start fighting" -- anchor in a PREVIOUS time when you ALREADY got hit, didn't you?, and take that into your NEXT fight, and the NEXT fight, now?

I could almost do this part over email, if I could just see and hear you guys and make sure to get the right responses so that you are still going to be careful and workmanlike in taking care of yourself in the ring or when sparring, right?

The phobia part is even easier, but it requires you imagining some odd things which have to be personalized just a little bit.

The original poster doesn't show his location in his profile, but a Google search like this will get you started:

nlp ~therapist birmingham
I left it ambiguous as to Birmingham England or Alabama (US) so you put your own location in there -- perhaps the nearest big town or city if you don't find anything in your little village at first.

The ~ makes the search APPROXIMATE -- words like psychotherapist, counsellor should both match as well.

You could customize it like this:

nlp ~therapist | ~coach YOUR_LOCATION anxiety | phobia

Add or drop a few search terms to tune the results....

On Google the vertical bars '|' mean OR, either term will match.

Hey, BigSkinny87 ........ fair play to you for the post.

Tough place to be.

Why did you start doing boxing? If you think about that, you might find the answer.

Personally (and i dont know you or the gym or anything, so forgive me if I am miles off) ... I would focus on yourself. Look at the technique you are trying to learn, understand your body and its limitations, get every single punch technically right, 'feel' the bagwork, skip really smoothly. Just go deep inside yourself.

Look inside yourself and conquer your body first. Once you've done that, then worry about what everyone else thinks.

After all, boxing isnt really about competing with your opponent, its about understanding yourself and the physical and mental limitations that we all have. Conquer your body and your mind will follow.

If you have anxiety about what you look like externally, bury it and just deal with yourself. If you can do that, everything external will come along by itself

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to thank every one for the replies. Sometimes posts go un-noticed, and it is great to get some feedback.

I have slowly been getting more comfortable in the gym. The more times I go during the week, the more I socialize with the other people there, and the more questions I ask my Coach, the better I feel.

Even had a few nights where I felt "in the zone" internally focused and not really caring about anything besides boxing and working hard.

I am hoping that if I am able to conquer these insecurities in the gym, that it will translate into everyday life. Anxiety is somewhat of a plague, especially for me in social situations and big groups of people. It's just finding that comfort within myself that is very elusive.

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Originally Posted by BigSkinny87

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to thank every one for the replies. Sometimes posts go un-noticed, and it is great to get some feedback.

I have slowly been getting more comfortable in the gym. The more times I go during the week, the more I socialize with the other people there, and the more questions I ask my Coach, the better I feel.

Even had a few nights where I felt "in the zone" internally focused and not really caring about anything besides boxing and working hard.

I am hoping that if I am able to conquer these insecurities in the gym, that it will translate into everyday life. Anxiety is somewhat of a plague, especially for me in social situations and big groups of people. It's just finding that comfort within myself that is very elusive.

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Socially if you smile and have fun, others will be attracted to you and you will feel at ease.

You can literally get away with saying what others are secretly thinking, if you grin when you do, life will be a real laugh, you just never do it at an others expense.

alright, tuesday got an appt to got to a shrink to talk about nlp... ill keep you updated

" Hmm very interesting , So how does that make you feel?"
My impression of a shrink finally getting to the core of an issue. ;)


You mention NLP training, I think Missy from in here is into that.

Great step in the right direction.

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Originally Posted by BigSkinny87

I am hoping that if I am able to conquer these insecurities in the gym, that it will translate into everyday life.

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This is the thing that boxing gives to people more then anything else. Whether you are there to compete, for conditioning, wanting to learn a bit of self-defense, socialization...

More often then not, be it by design or decision or pure happenstance, if you stick it out, you often will be finding yourself conquering personal demons, obstacles, and otherwise difficult things that find their way into the gym, from the main streams of our lives.

Went and tried the NLP... in not sure how but i feel nothing but calm. i like it

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Originally Posted by the killer

Went and tried the NLP... in not sure how but i feel nothing but calm. i like it

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If you have someone who (will continue) helping you with the NLP then talk about 'anchoring' (it's and NLP term) in highly useful "resource states'. Work with your helper on figuring out what your BEST STATE will be for each par of the gym practice (sparring is different from cardio work) then anchor in those states that are most useful -- using triggers that will ALWAYS be present just before you need the correct state.

For instance (just an idea, may not be the best for you): Cardio might benefit most from determination, happiness, or maybe even detachment (getting away from the pain of exertion.)

Sparring might benefit most from FOCUS, or Confidence (or confidence might be a less useful state if you become over confident -- you get the idea.)

You good link the Sparring states to entering the ring, or the bell or to "puttinjg up your guard" etc.

--
HerbM

Hmmmmmm... that sounds interesting. ill talk to my person about that, thanks for the heads up!

Fascinating stuff, keep us posted on the progress will you!

Will do, two sessions and i feel so much better already...

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Originally Posted by the killer

Will do, two sessions and i feel so much better already...

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That is so cool.

NLP is not magic, but it can feel like magic, and it can especially SOUND like magic when you describe it to other people.

Good NLP always "tests" the results and doesn't just assume that what works for one person will work without alteration for someone else. A big element is behavioral flexibility -- having multiple responses to each person or situation.

"Every fighter that ever lived had fear. A boy comes to me and tells me that he's not afraid, If I believed him I'd say he's a liar or there's something wrong with him. I'd send him to the doctor to find out what the hell's the matter with him, because this is not a normal reaction. The fighter that's gone into the ring and hasn't experienced fear is either a liar or a psychopath..." [Heller,67]

"I tell them the first time they're going to fight, the night before they probably won't sleep. I can't offer them any consolidaton other then the fact that the other guy went through the same thing, and when they get down to the fight and entr the dressing-room, especially if they're in an amateur fight, the room is full of possible opponents, because they don't know who they're going to fight, and everybody looks calm, confident and smiling and all the new boy is aware of is that terrible thump in his chest, and he's intimidated by their attitude and their confidence. What he doesn't realize is that they look at him and they see the same thing in him as he sees in them, because by an exercise of discipline he also puts on a superficial apearance of confidence..We go on now into the ring. Half the time they're walking when they go down to the ring as though they're going to the gallows. So when they climb those stairs, I never call a fighter yellow. Knowing what he goes through, the very act of climbing into that ring stamps him a person of courage and discipline...." [Cus D'Amato]

Fear is good it helps you stay sharp, but being so afraid that you cannot follow a gameplan in the ring or for some cant even get in the ring, i think that is what the NLP is helping with.