Listen to this freakos, Batman has joined a gym.

I'm not getting any younger and I've not been in a gym since I was 17/18 and I was never serious about it then.

I thought that I might give it a go and see how I get on before I lose my foot to diabetes or some shit like that.

I'm only looking to do cardio at the moment, get a bit of this timber off me, I could do with losing a few stones, all the Stella, Pizza and curry is catching up with me.

Another reason I'm doing it is because I rarely do fucking anything these days, at least this gets me out and about even if just for a short period of time.

Wish me luck, knowing me I'll probably give myself a fucking heart attack running for the bus before I even get there.

Good for you, Batman. You know it is the right thing to do. You love reading, so maybe you could listen to audio books to keep you occupied as it can be a bit boring. Start slowish and build your way into it. I hurt after being in there, but I also feel like I have done something. It's well worth it.

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

Good for you, Batman. You know it is the right thing to do. You love reading, so maybe you could listen to audio books to keep you occupied as it can be a bit boring. Start slowish and build your way into it. I hurt after being in there, but I also feel like I have done something. It's well worth it.

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I love my music and my books in equal measure so I'll just be sticking Spotify on whilst I'm in there.

Bit of a waste of time today though, 2 minutes after getting in there and my phone wouldn't stop going, I checked it and my sister has been in a minor car accident, as I work in insurance I had to tell her what to do, every time I got going my phone would go again, I knocked it on the head after 20 minutes.

I'll go again tomorrow or Saturday. I'm aiming for 3 times a week at the minute.

Batman that is wonderful. You pump that iron. Weight resistance is the key. Good job. Go light on cardio.

First few weeks, just make sure you go. Doesn't need to be a lot. If you are as rusty as me, just a little will bring about enough for a workout. I do 25 minutes on the weights each day and then go for a brisk walk up the hill and around the farms. Sweated buckets today.

Yeah I'm definitely going to keep going regularly, I'm off work this week so it's not been any bother, I'm half tempted to go again tomorrow.

My problem is that other than an exercise bike I've done zero exercise for fucking years so anything other than that and I'm pissing sweat like a stuck pig.

I'm thinking of giving that C25K thing a bash on the treadmill, I reckon I'd have to take that pretty damn slowly though.

Make sure you enjoy it and get some satisfaction out of each session. Otherwise you will quit when it gets too hard. Take small steps each time and record it in a journal.

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Originally Posted by Master

Make sure you enjoy it and get some satisfaction out of each session. Otherwise you will quit when it gets too hard. Take small steps each time and record it in a journal.

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Fuck, that's exactly what I do when take a shit FFS.

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Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust

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Originally Posted by Master

Make sure you enjoy it and get some satisfaction out of each session. Otherwise you will quit when it gets too hard. Take small steps each time and record it in a journal.

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Fuck, that's exactly what I do when take a shit FFS.

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Don't worry Brock, you are a freak in most aspects of life but everyone keeps a shit journal.

My last entry was just this morning, it read:

09:13am - just honked out a dirt snake in the disabled toilets of the library, no measuring equipment available but I would estimate 15cm long, weight unknown but it felt pretty dense on its way out and judging by the splashback it was never intending on being a floater...must remember to walk out of here with a limp so people think I'm disabled.

Anyway back on topic...so yeah I joined a gym

Small weight high repetitions if you're coming in after yrs, get your wind back and detox the mind. I try..when I try :-X..to go mid day that way I have to go back to work and head straight home after a nonstop day by evening. Hardest part is working a straight day then leveling out..and basically going to another 'job' right off ;D. Oh and no beer. That's the feckin kicker there.

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Originally Posted by Spicoli

Oh and no beer. That's the feckin kicker there.

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Yeah that aint gunna really work for me...im currently on my 10th can...saying that I am on me holibobs and it's better to drink and go to the gym than just drink I reckon.

If I stick it out and actually get to the point that I wanna start seeing results then I may reconsider my drinking habits but at present I just think that doing it is better than not doing it.

More for my mental health than my physical if I'm being honest

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Originally Posted by Batman

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Originally Posted by Spicoli

Oh and no beer. That's the feckin kicker there.

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Yeah that aint gunna really work for me...im currently on my 10th can...saying that I am on me holibobs and it's better to drink and go to the gym than just drink I reckon.

If I stick it out and actually get to the point that I wanna start seeing results then I may reconsider my drinking habits but at present I just think that doing it is better than not doing it.

More for my mental health than my physical if I'm being honest

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;D Best to keep everyone safe from errand barbells and stick to the current work out regiment at a 'home gym'. Curling a can or bottle is a very underrated type of workout which overtime can lead to significant expansion of both body and mind!

I would think since you are doing something healthy you can even things off by drinking more and all things will even out

@Batman

9:15 a.m. pushed really hard and then ***BLAM!*** the spinach you ate really shot out and you felt it take out the steak you ate, it sort of hooked into it and dragged it out.

Persistence is the key; I started Jiu Jitsu at 36 with a bunch of young angry lions. The first 5 months have been the worst of my life, health wise, now I am about to turn 40 and I would say that I am somewhere in the middle of the pack but still can keep up with the bests (those around my level, that is). Just accept pain as the cruelest and most successful of teachers. Go get it, bud.

7:50 in the AM and on a Sunday and I'm on the bus heading to the gym, by rights I should be in bed hungover right now.

To be honest the only reason I didn't order a meal last night was because I didn't want a vindaloo rolling around in my guts whilst I was running around, that could have been quite nasty and would have probably ended up as an entry in Brocks shit diary.

I'm looking forward to next week when I will already be in town so won't need to keep fucking about with the bus to get there and back.

I am in Gran Canaria and eating a lot of healthy food after binging on ice cream and dessert.

Good stuff, Batman. I hope you are keeping up with it all. I am finding it all a bit easier now which probably means I need to step it up some more. I have gained a kilo and I can only assume it is muscle as I don't really have any fat. It's too hot and humid to go for my walk outside so I am going to start using the treadmills now. I want to try and do different exercises with the dumbbells, but I haven't practiced them before and I don't want to look like a prat in front of others, so I am not doing as much there as I should. Will go in at 7am and see if I can get some alone time to practice.

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Originally Posted by Master

I am in Gran Canaria and eating a lot of healthy food after binging on ice cream and dessert.

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I am doing a lot of swimming very tiring afterwards and gives me a good appetite.

I usually go for a bit of a workout every couple of days, but today I was wild and went the second day in a row! 3 miles on a treadmill just walking fast might not sound much, but I was feeling it a bit at the end. Had sweat dripping into my shirt even with a huge fan and the AC on. Yet next to me were these men obviously much healthier than me running pretty fast. It's one of the reasons I have avoided the treadmills, but you have to start from somewhere and 3 miles is better than 1 or even 2. I moved on to a heavier set of dumbbells too. You can feel them more and you can see my skinny arms doing the work with veins popping out all over the place. Would like to lift the bar weight, but I am still too shy to go anywhere near that. Sometimes I wish there was an instructor there to teach me about form and technique. Kind of on your own in there.

Batman how is your gym work going? What kind of routine are you doing in there? As a fellow beginner it might be good to share ideas as I don't really have a clue half the time. Just seem to do a bit on each of the machines, do the dumbells and now brave enough to go on the treadmill. Was in there 90 minutes today! Usually do just 30-40 minutes of weights, but the treadmill takes up time.

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by Master

I am in Gran Canaria and eating a lot of healthy food after binging on ice cream and dessert.

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I am doing a lot of swimming very tiring afterwards and gives me a good appetite.

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When not on holiday, do you go to a gym?

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by Master

I am in Gran Canaria and eating a lot of healthy food after binging on ice cream and dessert.

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I am doing a lot of swimming very tiring afterwards and gives me a good appetite.

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When not on holiday, do you go to a gym?

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Yes I do about 4 times per week hard cardio but do not when on holiday.

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

I usually go for a bit of a workout every couple of days, but today I was wild and went the second day in a row! 3 miles on a treadmill just walking fast might not sound much, but I was feeling it a bit at the end. Had sweat dripping into my shirt even with a huge fan and the AC on. Yet next to me were these men obviously much healthier than me running pretty fast. It's one of the reasons I have avoided the treadmills, but you have to start from somewhere and 3 miles is better than 1 or even 2. I moved on to a heavier set of dumbbells too. You can feel them more and you can see my skinny arms doing the work with veins popping out all over the place. Would like to lift the bar weight, but I am still too shy to go anywhere near that. Sometimes I wish there was an instructor there to teach me about form and technique. Kind of on your own in there.

Batman how is your gym work going? What kind of routine are you doing in there? As a fellow beginner it might be good to share ideas as I don't really have a clue half the time. Just seem to do a bit on each of the machines, do the dumbells and now brave enough to go on the treadmill. Was in there 90 minutes today! Usually do just 30-40 minutes of weights, but the treadmill takes up time.

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I would be on a machine behind you and my eyes 👀 would look like headlights

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

I usually go for a bit of a workout every couple of days, but today I was wild and went the second day in a row! 3 miles on a treadmill just walking fast might not sound much, but I was feeling it a bit at the end. Had sweat dripping into my shirt even with a huge fan and the AC on. Yet next to me were these men obviously much healthier than me running pretty fast. It's one of the reasons I have avoided the treadmills, but you have to start from somewhere and 3 miles is better than 1 or even 2. I moved on to a heavier set of dumbbells too. You can feel them more and you can see my skinny arms doing the work with veins popping out all over the place. Would like to lift the bar weight, but I am still too shy to go anywhere near that. Sometimes I wish there was an instructor there to teach me about form and technique. Kind of on your own in there.

Batman how is your gym work going? What kind of routine are you doing in there? As a fellow beginner it might be good to share ideas as I don't really have a clue half the time. Just seem to do a bit on each of the machines, do the dumbells and now brave enough to go on the treadmill. Was in there 90 minutes today! Usually do just 30-40 minutes of weights, but the treadmill takes up time.

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@Gandalf

yeah it's going alright at the moment, I'm trying to go 3 times a week (although I didn't go on Thursday due to being hungover to fuck so I actually went out for a short run on the evening instead)

I'm not doing much at the moment, I've started C25K and have just finished the first week on that so I'm going to be starting week 2 tomorrow, it's worth taking a look at if you are interested on the treadmills and are very much a beginner.

week one is 8 reps of running for 60 seconds walking for 90 seconds, week two is 8 reps of running for 90 seconds and walking for 2 minutes, week three is 2 reps of 90 seconds running and 90 seconds walking then run for three minutes walking for three minutes

etc, the goal is to get you to run 5k in 9 weeks

once I've done that I do 30 minutes on the exercise bike

Its not much but as you say everyone has to start somewhere

It sounds good, probably burning a lot of calories with that. You are very brave for going all in with running from the off. Honestly, the guys lifting weights and those running with good technique on the treadmills embarrass me a bit. Keep at it. Totally feeling it after 90 minutes yesterday, need a proper day off to rest.

You have to enjoy it somewhat, why bother with treadmills? Just limber up, try skipping rope or doing some dynamic stretching and the like. Eat less shit in order to keep drinking and still get results. I would ice all of you mother fuckers, lights out paper champs.

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Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust

Batman that is wonderful. You pump that iron. Weight resistance is the key. Good job. Go light on cardio.

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Ha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFzhjnjXc2o

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Originally Posted by walrus

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Originally Posted by Gandalf

I usually go for a bit of a workout every couple of days, but today I was wild and went the second day in a row! 3 miles on a treadmill just walking fast might not sound much, but I was feeling it a bit at the end. Had sweat dripping into my shirt even with a huge fan and the AC on. Yet next to me were these men obviously much healthier than me running pretty fast. It's one of the reasons I have avoided the treadmills, but you have to start from somewhere and 3 miles is better than 1 or even 2. I moved on to a heavier set of dumbbells too. You can feel them more and you can see my skinny arms doing the work with veins popping out all over the place. Would like to lift the bar weight, but I am still too shy to go anywhere near that. Sometimes I wish there was an instructor there to teach me about form and technique. Kind of on your own in there.

Batman how is your gym work going? What kind of routine are you doing in there? As a fellow beginner it might be good to share ideas as I don't really have a clue half the time. Just seem to do a bit on each of the machines, do the dumbells and now brave enough to go on the treadmill. Was in there 90 minutes today! Usually do just 30-40 minutes of weights, but the treadmill takes up time.

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I would be on a machine behind you and my eyes 👀 would look like headlights

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http://i.qkme.me/3okqo9.jpg

Batman, is this you versus the 140lb boxer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1RjLQGp8Qc

Well I'm still going, at the minute I've taken to focusing entirely on the treadmill, I'm still doing the C25K thing and I'm going to be starting week 3 when I next go to the gym.

I'm feeling better, I'm still sweating like a stuck pig and getting pretty out of puff (I know people tell you not to get out of breath by the time the walking intervals are up I'm fine and my heart rate has dropped sufficiently) I noticed today that I actually felt more comfortable going at a faster speed than I have been, so obviously something is working.

The pain is feeling much better as well, when I tried running on the pavement the agony was fucking crippling, it was pretty bad when I started on the treadmill as well but that seems to be dissipating pretty fast and I'm left with a good sort of pain.

I've still not lost any timber that I have noticed yet but my leg muscles are growing at a pretty alarming rate, I've always had pretty thick legs, in fact if I wouldn't have discovered cigarettes and alcohol when I was 14 I most likely would have ended up playing rugby but there you go.

Anyways man, I'm feeling pretty good, I know it still isn't a lot that I'm doing but I'm quarter of the way through C25K and within (a minimum) of 6 more weeks the goal is to be able to run 30 minutes non stop, once I can do that I can work on distance and then I can start incorporating other things into this newfound lifestyle.

Also (and @Master you will be very please about this) Thursday nights have always been my prequel to the weekend where I blast my music and down 8 cans of strong lager, today I went to the gym and drank a fuck load of water, I'm trying to give myself 3 days a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday) at the minute but it's been a bit hit and miss with social commitments.

Next step when I get paid I'm gunna invest in a semi decent pair of trainers, the ones I'm in at the moment are alright but not really made specifically for running (plus they stink like satans arsehole after a vindaloo)

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Originally Posted by Batman

Well I'm still going, at the minute I've taken to focusing entirely on the treadmill, I'm still doing the C25K thing and I'm going to be starting week 3 when I next go to the gym.

I'm feeling better, I'm still sweating like a stuck pig and getting pretty out of puff (I know people tell you not to get out of breath by the time the walking intervals are up I'm fine and my heart rate has dropped sufficiently) I noticed today that I actually felt more comfortable going at a faster speed than I have been, so obviously something is working.

The pain is feeling much better as well, when I tried running on the pavement the agony was fucking crippling, it was pretty bad when I started on the treadmill as well but that seems to be dissipating pretty fast and I'm left with a good sort of pain.

I've still not lost any timber that I have noticed yet but my leg muscles are growing at a pretty alarming rate, I've always had pretty thick legs, in fact if I wouldn't have discovered cigarettes and alcohol when I was 14 I most likely would have ended up playing rugby but there you go.

Anyways man, I'm feeling pretty good, I know it still isn't a lot that I'm doing but I'm quarter of the way through C25K and within (a minimum) of 6 more weeks the goal is to be able to run 30 minutes non stop, once I can do that I can work on distance and then I can start incorporating other things into this newfound lifestyle.

Also (and @Master you will be very please about this) Thursday nights have always been my prequel to the weekend where I blast my music and down 8 cans of strong lager, today I went to the gym and drank a fuck load of water, I'm trying to give myself 3 days a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday) at the minute but it's been a bit hit and miss with social commitments.

Next step when I get paid I'm gunna invest in a semi decent pair of trainers, the ones I'm in at the moment are alright but not really made specifically for running (plus they stink like satans arsehole after a vindaloo)

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My advice would be to stop sniffing Satan's arsehole, particularly after he has had a Ruby.




(and tell your local's Pub Landlord, that feeding Rottweilers curry, is not very good for their indigestion )

Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Detox.

Yoooo just finished at the gym, I'm in bastard agony, the tops of my feet and calf muscles feel like they are going to explode, dunno what has bought this on, maybe time to take a good few days off to recover a bit more thoroughly

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Originally Posted by Batman

Yoooo just finished at the gym, I'm in bastard agony, the tops of my feet and calf muscles feel like they are going to explode, dunno what has bought this on, maybe time to take a good few days off to recover a bit more thoroughly

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You are working muscles that have not worked before. The best thing to do is warm up and stretch before and after. It reduces the agony.

Oddly enough if you train again the next day it does not hurt as much.

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by Batman

Yoooo just finished at the gym, I'm in bastard agony, the tops of my feet and calf muscles feel like they are going to explode, dunno what has bought this on, maybe time to take a good few days off to recover a bit more thoroughly

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You are working muscles that have not worked before. The best thing to do is warm up and stretch before and after. It reduces the agony.

Oddly enough if you train again the next day it does not hurt as much.

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I do stretch before and after.
The problem is that I'm doing something I've not done for years, I'm going faster and further each time, I think I'm just going to have to start mixing it up a bit, I'll go back on Tuesday as normal but I'll just go on the bike and leave the running until Thursday and see how I get on then.

Bit pissed off though today, it felt like a waste of time, I didn't do anywhere near as well or as much as I wanted.

Ah well, next time'll be better.

How's the pussy there? It's amazing how much determination a nice ass can give you.

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Originally Posted by GaMo

How's the pussy there? It's amazing how much determination a nice ass can give you.

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That is true. ;D

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Originally Posted by GaMo

How's the pussy there? It's amazing how much determination a nice ass can give you.

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It's not too shabby my friend, my biggest problem is that I'm a massive perv, I know that people say "you should be too focused on yourself to even notice the birds" but fuck me I see some of them and I just wanna do things to them.

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Originally Posted by Master

That is true. ;D

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I’ve picked up my pace to get a better look on countless occasions
Sometimes I’ll go food shopping just to window shop for ass
Some might say that’s a bit creepy but I don’t bitch about their hobbies
So who are they to judge mine!

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Originally Posted by Batman

It's not too shabby my friend, my biggest problem is that I'm a massive perv, I know that people say "you should be too focused on yourself to even notice the birds" but fuck me I see some of them and I just wanna do things to them.

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We’re all massive perverts (I think) but don’t touch the girls!
Not unless you think they want you too, in that case go for it
Think most gyms take sexual harassment quite seriously.
Is there a lot of creepy guys there perving? (not that you’re on of them)

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Originally Posted by GaMo

Is there a lot of creepy guys there perving? (not that you’re on of them)

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Nah I think I'm the only one