struggling with your parents...

Now let me just say this, I love my parents, both of them, love them to death.

But as they have gotten older they are insufferable.

When I was growing up my old man was my hero, I idolized him, I still do, I used to love going round and seeing them on a weekend and staying the night, getting back home mid morning or early afternoon.

Problem is that they have got very old, very quick

My Dad goes through phases of obsession with regards to music, at the moment it is Lynnyrd Skynnyrd, he is 65 years old and has just discovered them, now that shouldn't bother me but used to bang on about them to him all the time when I was growing up, now if he can go 20 minutes without mentioning them that is a bonus, this will go on for another couple of weeks then he will get another obsession, the television is another major problem, if he wants to watch something on television it has to be absolute silence, if anyone speaks no matter how briefly he rewinds the program by at least 30 seconds so he can be sure he hasn't missed anything, at present he is fucking obsessed by Celebrity Love Island.

My Mom was always the straight laced one out of the pair, she was the boring one who kept my Dad on the straight and narrow, these days she phones me up almost every morning 'for a chat' at 8am even though she knows I start work at....8am then she gets arsey with me because I cant speak with her, my Dad only has to ask a question and rather than answer him she bites his head off, gets into a proper strop and starts stamping around the house, it happened tonight because he couldn't remember their landline number.

I used to sit down and have healthy intellectual conversations with them, these days it has got to the point where I go round and they are sitting in silence on their phones or watching fucking Emerdale Farm and demanding complete silence.

My sister doesn't see it but I am genuinely concerned about them, especially my Dad.

These things may only seem like small little things or quirks but there are a hundred other things that I notice, my sister seems oblivious to it, I had to get a taxi home tonight because I just couldn't put up with them any longer.

Its pretty fucking upsetting and I wish I had the patience but just lately I am struggling massively with them, I used to see them at least once every two weeks and would speak to them every day on the phone, I now see them probably once every 4 or 5 weeks and even though I still speak to them on the phone every day it is so fucking frustrating that I just want to hang up on them.

I really hope this doesn't come across in the wrong way, like I say I fucking love the pair of them but I am struggling to deal with their aging brains at the moment in a big way.

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Originally Posted by Batman

Now let me just say this, I love my parents, both of them, love them to death.

But as they have gotten older they are insufferable.

When I was growing up my old man was my hero, I idolized him, I still do, I used to love going round and seeing them on a weekend and staying the night, getting back home mid morning or early afternoon.

Problem is that they have got very old, very quick

My Dad goes through phases of obsession with regards to music, at the moment it is Lynnyrd Skynnyrd, he is 65 years old and has just discovered them, now that shouldn't bother me but used to bang on about them to him all the time when I was growing up, now if he can go 20 minutes without mentioning them that is a bonus, this will go on for another couple of weeks then he will get another obsession, the television is another major problem, if he wants to watch something on television it has to be absolute silence, if anyone speaks no matter how briefly he rewinds the program by at least 30 seconds so he can be sure he hasn't missed anything, at present he is fucking obsessed by Celebrity Love Island.

My Mom was always the straight laced one out of the pair, she was the boring one who kept my Dad on the straight and narrow, these days she phones me up almost every morning 'for a chat' at 8am even though she knows I start work at....8am then she gets arsey with me because I cant speak with her, my Dad only has to ask a question and rather than answer him she bites his head off, gets into a proper strop and starts stamping around the house, it happened tonight because he couldn't remember their landline number.

I used to sit down and have healthy intellectual conversations with them, these days it has got to the point where I go round and they are sitting in silence on their phones or watching fucking Emerdale Farm and demanding complete silence.

My sister doesn't see it but I am genuinely concerned about them, especially my Dad.

These things may only seem like small little things or quirks but there are a hundred other things that I notice, my sister seems oblivious to it, I had to get a taxi home tonight because I just couldn't put up with them any longer.

Its pretty fucking upsetting and I wish I had the patience but just lately I am struggling massively with them, I used to see them at least once every two weeks and would speak to them every day on the phone, I now see them probably once every 4 or 5 weeks and even though I still speak to them on the phone every day it is so fucking frustrating that I just want to hang up on them.

I really hope this doesn't come across in the wrong way, like I say I fucking love the pair of them but I am struggling to deal with their aging brains at the moment in a big way.

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Have patience for as they are now you to shall be. If the change is that drastic u r prob right to be concerned. Maybe u can encourage them to get checked out. Skynard is a great band, give me three steps and the ballad of Curtis low are my favorites.

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Originally Posted by walrus

Have patience for as they are now you to shall be. If the change is that drastic u r prob right to be concerned. Maybe u can encourage them to get checked out. Skynard is a great band, give me three steps and the ballad of Curtis low are my favorites.

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I love Skynard...but he played it three times tonight...three fucking times, there is a limit

I get what you are saying but I don't know how to broach the question about my old man or who to raise it with, I get the feeling, if I mention it to my Mom she will see it as a victory, if I mention it to my sister then she will go straight back to my Dad, if I raise it with my Dad then he will just get massively angry

Batman, there's NUTTIN u can do, it's aging, it's life, it's universal, it's normal, it's depressing, it's normal.

I have noticed that when parents age they stick to a routine and will not deviate. It provides security for them and they do not notice. My dad tells the same stories as if I have never heard them before.

Put it down to their quirky nature and character.

Enjoy it and give them a huge hug because you will miss it when it is gone.

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Originally Posted by Master

I have noticed that when parents age they stick to a routine and will not deviate. It provides security for them and they do not notice. My dad tells the same stories as if I have never heard them before.

Put it down to their quirky nature and character.

Enjoy it and give them a huge hug because you will miss it when it is gone.

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Ain’t that the truth

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Originally Posted by walrus

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Master

I have noticed that when parents age they stick to a routine and will not deviate. It provides security for them and they do not notice. My dad tells the same stories as if I have never heard them before.

Put it down to their quirky nature and character.

Enjoy it and give them a huge hug because you will miss it when it is gone.

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Ain’t that the truth

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No

Speaking of struggling, I’m bringing my mommy to Boston for the day, this will be fun

Roller coaster bud and it will happen to all of us. I like to think of it as adapting and improvising ;D to current environment walking around with my Pop now. Can also be a big role reversal. The same parents who look to us now knew us first as their own loud messy struggles.

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Originally Posted by Spicoli

Roller coaster bud and it will happen to all of us. I like to think of it as adapting and improvising ;D to current environment walking around with my Pop now. Can also be a big role reversal. The same parents who look to us now knew us first as their own loud messy struggles.

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Yup, that’s how ya gotta look at it. I have to send my mother some quid l and I took her cat who needs veterinarian treatment every month but I still couldn’t pay her back for all the shit i put her through

]who cares about parents who abused us mentally and emotionally and psychiatrically and projected all their insecurities and self-loathing on us? Who cares about parents who whipped us with a belt and smacked Us in the face and put us down and engaged in character assassination and demonization and neglected us and failed to build our self-confidence and failed to teach us anything useful about being adult in the world? And who failed to tell us anything about how to be financially independent and what careers were good? Who cares about parents who said They wish they never had kids? Stop kissing the asses of your parents

Fucking sicophants

I agree with Brock on this one. I didn't get the belt but got the torture routine where clothes were thrown into suitcases and fake calls were made to take me away. I could write a book about that childhood.

I got the same thing miles. I was 5 years old and I was on my knees holding my mother's calves and crying and saying that I didn't want to be sent away and my mother was forcing me to stuff a suitcase that was on the floor next to me with my clothes and stuff in my teddy bear saying I was a bad kid and they were sending me away and I was crying and crying. I can never forget that. 5 years old. 5 f****** years old. You tell me what a five-year-old can do to deserve that kind of psychiatric abuse

No child deserves that which is why you should make sure you do not do the same to your children.

Yes master you have nailed it and nailed it good

Reading through some of the posts on this thread makes me understand some of you a little bit more.

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Originally Posted by TitoFan

Reading through some of the posts on this thread makes me understand some of you a little bit more.

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Esta bien. Pero ahora hay que decir que ti ha pasado con mexicanos hasta que Todo Los fucking dias necesitas ofenderles y insultarles. 😎 Jajaja mi Espanol fucking ****ROCKS*****

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Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TitoFan

Reading through some of the posts on this thread makes me understand some of you a little bit more.

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Esta bien. Pero ahora hay que decir que ti ha pasado con mexicanos hasta que Todo Los fucking dias necesitas ofenderles y insultarles. 😎 Jajaja mi Espanol fucking ****ROCKS*****

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Estas obsesionado con eso. Yo no te hago caso. ;)

Truth is as much as it sucks..roles reverse. The first time I fed my Mom it tore my heart out. Then it gave it right back. The time I had to console my 140 lb frail Father who was balling his eyes out while he signed a DNR on her it happened again. We're the 'adults' now. But you always know where you come from.

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Originally Posted by Spicoli

Truth is as much as it sucks..roles reverse. The first time I fed my Mom it tore my heart out. Then it gave it right back. The time I had to console my 140 lb frail Father who was balling his eyes out while he signed a DNR on her it happened again. We're the 'adults' now. But you always know where you come from.

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That just brings a tear to my eye reading that.

We are going to have to go through that.

Very little dignity in death.

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by Spicoli

Truth is as much as it sucks..roles reverse. The first time I fed my Mom it tore my heart out. Then it gave it right back. The time I had to console my 140 lb frail Father who was balling his eyes out while he signed a DNR on her it happened again. We're the 'adults' now. But you always know where you come from.

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That just brings a tear to my eye reading that.

We are going to have to go through that.

Very little dignity in death.

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Be with them minus bitterness and take your victories where they appear. Be it a 'good' day or a good hour. Can't tell you how happy it is talking with him and he's 'sharp' and cracking a joke one day. A roller coaster though as dementia is gradual night v day erosion. Don't fear tomorrow..live and hold that moment with him.

Death is proof that life is meaningless

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Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust

Death is proof that life is meaningless

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No, it is the opposite. Death says make the most of your life, enjoy it, laugh, inspire and be thoughtful caring to others less fortunate.

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Originally Posted by Master

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brocktonblockbust

Death is proof that life is meaningless

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No, it is the opposite. Death says make the most of your life, enjoy it, laugh, inspire and be thoughtful caring to others less fortunate.

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of course you have to make the most of this life but the fact that everything disappears shows that everything just slips right through your fingers.

Exactly Death is the greatest gift in that it reminds us of how lucky we are to have a chance to exist. Far more beautiful than some trick in which heaven, eternal life or reincarnation make life some kind of sick test or trial run for the real thing. For years I struggled with the concept but now realise that the actual physical universe allows for all the possibilities that religions lead people away from in an effort to steal that from them.

My Dad was not there for so much of my life and can be difficult a lot of the time but I try to remember to ring him every Week during Sabbath and we make each other laugh. He has multiple plastic joints, has had two heart attacks but still walks miles every day and writes a new book every couple of years.

Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.


@Gandalf

Everything Is Meaningless


2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
3 What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
11 No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

******yes man, yes****