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Re: Any good jokes ????
After a really good party, a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the three women sitting next to him and says, "You want to hear a blonde joke?"
The first woman replies, "I am 240 pounds, a world kickboxing champion and I’m actually a natural blonde. My friend here is 190 pounds, a world judo champion and she's also a natural blonde. And my other friend weighs 200 pounds, used to be a world arm wrestling champion, and like me and our other friend, is a natural blonde. So, do you still want to tell me that joke?"
The man thinks for a while. "Um, no" he replies. "Not if i have to explain it three times..."
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Re: Any good jokes ????
What do you call a basement where women work?
A whine cellar.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
How do you stop the incessant noise in your car?
Let her drive.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
Bloke walks into a barber shop says how many people in front of me?
The hairdresser says nine.
He says ok ill come back in the morning.
comes back the next day and asks the same thing .
BArber says theres only six in front of you today.
Ok he says Ill come back in the morning .
next day same thing there three in front of you. Ok ill come back in the morning.
same the next day oh theres four in front you today.
ok ill come back in the morning.
The hairdresser says to the apprentice that blokes weird, follow him out an tell me where he goes.
The apprentice comes back and says , he went to your place.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
My wife had one of those near death experiences earlier today.....
silly fucker thought she could hoover while the football is on.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
An outback lady visits a doctor and asks worriedly "Can I get pregnant from anal sex"?
Of course says the doctor, where do think lawyers come from?
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Re: Any good jokes ????
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site.
The site foreman says "name"?
Paddy says "Paddy Molligans'
Foreman says "Can you spell that?"
Paddy says "ya stick your job up ya ass" .
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Re: Any good jokes ????
A thief goes to the doctor and says, " Doctor, Doctor!! I can't stop stealing!"
Doctor," Please take a seat."
Simple, but one of my favorites since I was a kid lol;D
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Re: Any good jokes ????
I was in Australia with the wife recently, when she was stung on the minge by a hornet.
I phoned a local doctor, who was a bit of a laid back surfer type.
Doc please help me, hey what's up, my wife's been stung on the vagina,and it's completely closed up.
Closed up, bummer dude, thank's doc bye.!;D
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Re: Any good jokes ????
I saw a man standing in the super market,with his nob in a jar of mayonnaise, and mayonnaise I thought.
Fucking hellmann.;D
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Re: Any good jokes ????
The landlord said why are you looking,so happy I said my wife had one of those procedures done at the
hospital,today that would put a smile on most men's face's.He said a breast enlargement,? no I said a
post-mortem.;D
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Re: Any good jokes ????
Paddy phones for a ambulance as Murphy has been hit by a car.
Operator asks where is he ? . Paddy says outside 28 Eucalyptus rd,.
Operator asks " how do you spell that ? " the line goes quite for 5 min.
Operator gets a bit worried, then Paddy says " sorry about that
i have just dragged him round to oak street".
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Re: Any good jokes ????
I walked into my house to find the Missus gone and a note nailed to the wall,
"we have your wife , if you want to see her alive again we want £500,000.
Do not contact the police , we are very determined, await a phone call".
They were not joking about being determined, i have had 36 missed calls
from them already.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis. His doctor
tells him too ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk.
Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his cock
in a saucerof cold milk. Good heavens she remarks. I always wondered
how you re load those things.
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Re: Any good jokes ????
A power cut in Irelands largest department store caused havoc earlier today,
some customers were stuck on the escalators for almost 3 hours.