Chuck Norris.....now there's tough

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

haha chuck norris jokes are the best.

Bruce Lee kicks his ass. :cool:

haha! some of those r pearlers i havent heared chuck norris jokes since i used to abuse bodybuilding.com forums, nice one ;D