An absolute joke

[ryanman]

A guy called John went round to see his friend Pete who had recently broken both of his legs.
He went in and Pete was layed up on the sofa with both his legs in casts.
After chatting for a bit Pete starts moaning about cold feet.
"John, be a mate and go upstairs and grab my slippers for me would you?"
"Sure Pete, No problem".

So John heads upstairs to get his slippers and as he heads towards his bedroom he passes the open door of Pete's 18 year old twin daughters who are in there listening to music. He senses an opportunity.
"Your dad has told me to come up here and have sex with you".
"No way! No he didn't! He'd never say that!" they protest.
"oh yeah" says Pete, "I'll prove it".
John then shouts downstairs to Pete still waiting for his slippers "BOTH OF THEM PETE?!"

Pete shouts up in reply "OF COURSE BOTH OF THEM! WHAT'S THE POINT IN FUCKING ONE!!"

[ryanman]

The eagle- errrm -memoried of you may remember I posted this about 4 years ago.

[Gandalf]

It's funny, but terribly wrong. It's something I imagine Cameron saying to Osborne over a line of coke.

[Master]

I think the daughters would have tried and confirmed what their dad was saying before they did anything. The dad would then shoot the man.