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Audley Harrison - he WILL win title in 2010
Audley Hugh Harrison is one of my all time favourite boxers to come out of the land known as Great Britain. Fuck me, the guy is a classy boxer. Maybe stylistically people don't like him because he is such a slick boxer, but when he turns on the A-Game, he brings in show stopping power. I would bet my wives purse money (£16.22 if you're interested) that Audley Harrison would have knocked out other British all time greats if he had fought them, in Frank Bruno and Herbie Hide, both who dodged Audley like Audley dodges punches and George Bush dodges shoes.
To illustrate Audley's greatness, I will make a quick head to head comparison here. Audley Harrison knocked out Danny Williams in 3 rounds, Danny Williams knocked out Mike Tyson in 4 rounds, Mike Tyson knocked out Ali in 6 rounds on Fight Night Round 4. Thus, Audley Harrison is better than Muhammad Ali, widely considered to be top 5 all time great material, right up there with Joe Lewis, Lennox Louis and John Ruiz. But here lies my problem, with the following scenario, Audley Harrison may have to fight John Ruiz, to win a world championship. I just don't know if he can win the fight, and I am not sure I would like to see the fight, even though it would surely be a fight for the ages, like most of Ruiz fights, these are my two favourite heavyweight fighters out there right now, and they are two of the best.
Here is the most likely scenario - John Ruiz knocks out David Haye, I don't know probably comes up with a nickname calling him David Straw and says something really cool in his post fight interview like "I huffed, and I puffed, and I blew the loud mouthed fucker down, then pissed in his face." John Ruiz is capable, more so, to do witty biting comments like this. Then, John Ruiz looks into the camera, and pierces through the lens with his glaring eyes and into the souls of the millions of viewers across the globe and into outerspace, and says "I am the best heavyweight in the world. I want to secure my legacy even more and beat the next best out there, Audley Harrison." This would be breaking news, two of the best getting it on. John Ruiz continues "If Audley Harrison knocks the snot out of that guy he is fighting for the European belt, what his name, Albet "SOS i am fighting Audley Harrison" nowskime getknockedthefuckout " (NOTE - John Ruiz is fucking hilarious, and cool) there is only one other place for him to go, and that is to fight me. You can't stay in Europe forever."
The next week, Audley knocks out Albert Sosnowski, probably in 3 or 4 rounds. I can see Audley Harrison doing his much taunted 5 punch kill combination, hit the liver, disabling the body, then the kidney, fucking that up, then the solar plexus, making sure the guy can't photosynthesize, then punch him in the heart, causing it to stop, and then doing a big raging uppercut pushing the guys nose through his skull and out of his head, looking like a kill from Alien vs Predator or some shit. Obviously, Audley Harrison wouldn't actually kill him because he is a passionate man, he would only punch with 20% power to KO his opponent and ensure his wellbeing in the future, but he is more than capable of killing a man with a punch.
So, in short, Ruiz wins the WBA belt and Audley is the EBU Champion of Europe. The world needs to see the fight. It's the biggest fight to be made in boxing right now. But can who will win? I don't know, I predict a draw, in a ruthless all out punchfest, maybe both men taste the canvas, their own blood, each others bodily hair, mostly armpits for John Ruiz, chest hair for Audley. It would be Godlike. So, this fight happens in the summer. Leaving the winter free for a rematch...but instead Audley fights one of the Klitschkos, perhaps both, knocks them both out, and is world champion. This is probably the most likely scenario because Audley and John will become great friends, brothers if you will, and will not want to fight each other again until one of them becomes evil and has to be stopped, on a Biblical scale.
Anyway I'm off to watch the MIGHTY POTTERS thrash Arsenal. I just thought I would drop by and put in my comments about the heavyweight fight which will happen this summer, just like I described.
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