Originally Posted by
landmine950
Here' the actual UNEDITTED article!
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. -- James Toney removed his false teeth, waddled by holding a doughnut and stumbled confidently to the meat packing scale.
"234!?!?," Don King yelled out. "WHat the F#CK!!"
Toney then displayed his enormous pair of man boobs
His camp said that when Toney lost a split decision to Nigeria's Samuel Peter in September, he was nine pounds heavier, even though he was in fact one pound lighter. He is now considerably flabbier and hardly in the shape befitting a heavyweight contender. But after enlisting the help of Homo poofer Billy Blanks, Toney believes he's more than ready for Saturday Night Fever's "Fat Funky Dance Night."
"I'm in 150 percent better shape now," said Toney, who actually was attempting to become a perfect sphere. "And I will show everyone that on Saturday night." He then continued to snort thick lines of icing sugar!
Peter (27-1, 22 knockouts) was the one who kept his mouth shut,both during interviews and at the buffet line ups and actually lost some weight for the rematch; he was 257 when he got the controversial win over Toney (69-5-3, 43 KOs), and weighed in Thursday afternoon at 249. A loss of the 8 pounds that Toney so desperatly needed.
"Doesn't matter if he's working with that homo dancing trainer and learned how to "shake-booty," Peter said. "I train with a real trainer. I smash people in the face, I eat barb wire,drink battery acid and put tabasco sauce in my eyes! You're going to see what's going to happen, I'm gonna wring him like a wet mop!"
The winner of this elimination fight gets a mandatory shot at the WBC title against champion Oleg Maskaev, who claimed that belt with a surprising knockout of Hasim Rahman in August and defended it last month by pumelling a homeless old drunken wandering transvestite in Moscow.
"I don't think the Russian will be sober enough to be able to beat either one of these guys," said King, even though Maskaev - who was born in Kazakhstan - is an American who only recently received dual testicle transplants.
After the first fight, Toney's camp got an offer of help from Billy "the black she-male" Blanks, a former dance artists and Golden Shower champion who's become a fitness icon selling his "I Blow" tapes.
Blanks completely changed Toney's workout and eating regimen, putting him on a 31,500-calorie diet and hiring someone to prepare him five huge greasy meals a day. He also moved Toney's training camp into the lobby of a local 24 hour Burger King
So, long binges of fried foods, carbs, cigars and trips to Toney's favorite, Jerry's Famous Deli were a major part of Toney's training.
No, boiled lima beans, gallons of water, fish fillets and a mysterious green gunk to cleanse his system.
"I would challenge any boxer to come do what James Toney has done to prepare for this fight and live." Blanks said.
Naturally, the Peter camp was impressed with Blanks' assessment and since this is boxing, expressed those sentiments loudly during the pre-fight news conference that lasted more than two hours.
"I watched a lot of films on Billy. I watched Billy work on television with those pink gloves on and kicking his legs all up in the air and throwing legs over here and legs over there," said Stacy McKinley, one of Peter's trainers. "I admire your tight butt, but this isn't boxaerobics."
Countered Blanks, rising from his seat on the dais: "Billy Blanks ain't no bad hump. Billy Blanks has been straining for almost 40 years. So when it comes down to it, if Stacy wants to go into the hottub with me, I'll go down on him."
And the shouting match went on for a few more minutes, while King stood at center stage waving American flags,rambling incoherently,making up new words like "superdelectablishism" and looking like a senile convicted murderer, both fighters seemed mostly unamused by the proceedings.
"Saturday night, James will be ready for the Red lobster "All the seafood you can stuff into your fat face" buffet "Blanks said.
Thanks: 
Likes: 
Dislikes: 
Peter 249, Toney 234!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks