Boxing Forums



User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: First Christmas joke

Share/Bookmark
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default First Christmas joke


    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

    "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

    "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

    The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

    Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

    St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolise?"

    The man replied,




    "These are Carols."

    And So The Christmas Season Begins......
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Up in the attic
    Posts
    26,468
    Mentioned
    448 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    4166
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Jesus took over the pearly gates job for day.
    An old man came stummbling up towards the gate.
    NAme?asked Jesus.
    Joeseph" replied the man.
    Occupation asked J?
    " Carpenter replied Joseph.
    Did you ave a son?
    YEs repied Joseph
    Was he lost unto the world?
    Yes repied Joseph!
    Father is that you?
    Pinnochio?
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    I always get my loved ones petrol-soaked fake moustaches for christmas.


    It's such a joy to watch their little faces light up!
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Imagine my joy when getting out the christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my sister's kids last year. Their excited faces was a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box.


    Such a pity it was a puppy
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Up in the attic
    Posts
    26,468
    Mentioned
    448 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    4166
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Yeah it would have been much easier on everyone if it was just a cat.
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    this 8 year old girl goes into santa's grotto, she sits on his lap, and father christmas says "hello little girl, what do you want for christmas my dear?", the little girl says " some of my older friends at school have got some hair between their legs, and i would like some there too!", and santa says "Will a little white beard be ok?".
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    If your woman puts on weight over the christmas period suggest some exercise.Get her to walk 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening.

    In a week the fat bitch should be 42 miles away!!!
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg this Christmas but it wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    A Christmas Story

    'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
    He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
    Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
    I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

    I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
    Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
    The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
    The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

    Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
    Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
    And just when I thought that things would get better
    Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
    They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
    Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

    And the kids these days--they all are the pits
    They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
    I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
    Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
    I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
    They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

    Flying through the air...dodging the trees
    Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
    I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
    I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

    There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
    I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

  11. #11
    El Kabong Guest

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    Quote Originally Posted by X
    Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg this Christmas but it wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler.
    HAHAHAHAHA......soooo sooo wrong but sooooo funny

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    679
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    0
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    This has nothing to do with Christmas, but I heard it from my Liverpudlian friend.

    Why do Scots wear kilts?

    Because sheep are afraid of zippers.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    11,841
    Mentioned
    60 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2012
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    X....what do you do when you're not finding jokes and perverted pictures?

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In my own little Universe
    Posts
    10,049
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    2259
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: First Christmas joke

    If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  




Boxing | Boxing Photos | Boxing News | Boxing Forum | Boxing Rankings

Copyright © 2000 - 2025 Saddo Boxing - Boxing