Job Applications

[OumaFan]

So I'm still in graduate school so I don't really have a career but I have actually a pretty good job for a student. So we started notifying that we were hiring people and we've got a shit ton of applications.

The best one so far was with this guy who when asked if he had any special qualifications, or had won any specific awards which might show that he was a good candidate put down "Dishwasher of the year at previous job."

That is not the best, when asked why he left his previous job, "they made me" Like he was gonna sneak it by us by not putting fired.

Finally when asked to check yes or no if he had been convicted of a felony he checked no but you could clearly see the marks from where he had kind of half assed erased a previous check put in the yes box.

I could not make this up. It was the best thing to happen at work in a while.

[OumaFan]

Dishwasher of the year Not the month. Consistency people.

[Spicoli]

Dishwasher of the year Not the month. Consistency people.

You know when you get a resume and/or application and.........lets be frank,You know right off that you wont be calling them but yet your "going through the motions" Rough, I had a lady jot down a application in green high liter and put her P.O down as "Character reference".

[LEGION]

So I'm still in graduate school so I don't really have a career but I have actually a pretty good job for a student. So we started notifying that we were hiring people and we've got a shit ton of applications.

The best one so far was with this guy who when asked if he had any special qualifications, or had won any specific awards which might show that he was a good candidate put down "Dishwasher of the year at previous job."

That is not the best, when asked why he left his previous job, "they made me" Like he was gonna sneak it by us by not putting fired.

Finally when asked to check yes or no if he had been convicted of a felony he checked no but you could clearly see the marks from where he had kind of half assed erased a previous check put in the yes box.

I could not make this up. It was the best thing to happen at work in a while.

[CFH]

I know this is a bit off topic, but what are you doing grad work in? I recall seeing you mention that you were a history major, I think. The reason I ask is that history is one of my majors, I'll probably end up doing grad work, but I'm having a tough time deciding on which type of history I want to focus on.

[Andre]

Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application


Here is an actual McDonald’s Application. Nothing was changed except the name of the applicant, Greg Bulmash, whose name was changed to John Smith to protect his anonymity.
McDONALDS APPLICATION
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

[OumaFan]

I know this is a bit off topic, but what are you doing grad work in? I recall seeing you mention that you were a history major, I think. The reason I ask is that history is one of my majors, I'll probably end up doing grad work, but I'm having a tough time deciding on which type of history I want to focus on.

American mostly, 20th Century, mainly foreign policy stuff.

I like the preferred hours on that application

[CFH]

I know this is a bit off topic, but what are you doing grad work in? I recall seeing you mention that you were a history major, I think. The reason I ask is that history is one of my majors, I'll probably end up doing grad work, but I'm having a tough time deciding on which type of history I want to focus on.

American mostly, 20th Century, mainly foreign policy stuff.

I like the preferred hours on that application

That's pretty much what I've been focusing on as well. With some European and Middle Eastern history thrown in as well.